What’s In A Name?

So what’s in a name, anyway? Why did I pick the name  “Courting the Extraordinary” for my blog, and what does that even mean? Well, let me tell you!

First, I should take a minute here to tell you what this blog almost was. Or rather, what it was for a quick minute. A few years ago, in 2015 I wrote a blog on a supported website, during a moment or two of inspiration. It was one stand alone piece that was so right at the time. It was exciting to connect some of the dots and dreams that have always been in my heart, but it wasn’t the right time to take it much further, or really, any further at all then.

Life had different plans for that season. The ideas were there, but the timing was for later, and those seeds were germinating for another day. The spark had begun, though the name was slightly different. It was called Courting the Ordinary. That name captured the essence in part- I was ordinary, I loved the ordinary, I could see the purpose and beauty in it all. Yet it was missing something, it was only part of the whole picture. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s start at the very beginning.

As Mary Poppins says, it’s a very good place to start.

We’ll start with the word COURT.  It’s not just a nickname for me. (A funny side note about that. When I was born, my grandmother questioned the name Courtney because people might call me Court, and she thought was a bad pun since my dad was a basketball referee. However, she went on to almost exclusively call me Court. I know plenty of people still do call me this, but I actually hardly notice. My brain seems to automatically translates it to my real name. Now the nickname I’ve fully embraced the last 18 years, as crowned by my nephew, is Coco.) Besides it being one of my nicknames, let’s talk about the word COURT.

  COURT is a little word with great meaning, even if it’s a bit lost in the modern world.   To “court” someone (or maybe even something) is to PURSUE, to engage, to connect with them in a meaningful way.  If a man historically “courted” a woman, he sought after her time, her attention, her affection, and ultimately her hand in marriage. 

Now think about a time in life when you were pursuing someone or something.  Was it a relationship, a degree, a life goal? What did that look like or feel like? One thing is for sure, it was active.  Even when you weren’t acting on it, you were actively engaged.  It was something you thought about many, many times a day.  It’s something that excited you, something that you found time for and chose to engage.  What or who you were courting and interested in was always there, in a sense- top of heart and mind- even when you were tending to other parts of life. It was an internal and driving priority in your life. Remember that feeling? It’s exciting, isn’t it?!

Well, guess what. Our lives are currently available for that level of engagement.  From us.  Just hold that thought for a minute and we’ll talk about the rest of the name.

What about extraordinary? What do I even mean by that? Am I talking about beautiful places, lovely things, wonderful experiences.  Sure, why not.  Those are there for sure.  But that’s not really all that I’m talking about here.  I’m talking about EVERYDAY LIFE.  Every day, ORDINARY life.  But that’s not the same as extraordinary, is it, you wonder? Isn’t that actually the opposite?

Well, it all depends on how you look at it.  

Let’s  think about the things that make up our lives. The things we do and the places that we go every day.  They are probably 80%, on the very conservative average, ORDINARY.   Wake up, drink coffee (um, yessss), brush hair, wash yourself, wear clothes, clean clothes, eat food, make food, buy food, go to work, kiss family, drive down the street, check the web, laugh (hopefully), spill something, forget something, get inspired for 67 seconds, get frustrated for 3 minutes, put away something, pick up a book, smile, wash a dish, help someone, then on to the next thing.  Repeat, repeat, repeat. 

It’s so much ORDINARY.

But guess what? Hidden in all of those very ordinary life experiences is often something very extraordinary.  You just need to be able to see it.

t might be inspiration like a verse for a song resonating in your heart, a human connection, a kiss on the cheek from your loved one. It’s the beauty of the mug passed down from your grandmother. It’s a glint of light shining on a tree, casting it in a golden glow before your eyes. It’s the feeling of an invisible hug or an inspired moment. They happen fast. We have to watch for them, or we might miss them. They are flashes of beauty that deserve to be appreciated. But in order to be appreciated, they must first been seen.

  When you do, for that moment, you can’t help but be moved by the beauty of that object or by the meaning of that moment.  You pause and you feel it as much as you see it. 

Imagine seeing the whole of your life that way.  Imagine feeling that way about your life and feeling that way often.  

Now imagine that YOU can be the one which causes it to glow like that. Your thoughtful attention to the ordinary things can bring out the extraordinary. Because really, the mere act of noticing the ordinary turns it into something less ordinary. Pouring love and light into these moments enacts and enables the divine. Courting the ordinary turns it into the extraordinary.

When we do notice these moments and circumstances of beauty, is that the act of seeing seems to create more. If you care enough for your life that you look for the good, that positive attention alone will actually cause more goodness.

You know what that feels like, I’d bet. When someone tells you that’s you’re beautiful, you actually feel a bit more beautiful. If your children are told that they’re smart or important, they beam, feeling smarter and more important. Just hearing those things can make them even more true.

So here is where they meet.  “Courting the Extraordinary”. In our everyday lives, can we do that? Can we first see what’s already there and is beautiful? Can we choose to look beyond what’s directly in front of us, demanding our immediate attention? Can we find the extraordinary that is hidden right under our noses, clothed in the ordinary? Much like a robin’s speckled blue promise of an egg, nestled in an ordinary brown nest, can we find the possibility of wonderful in our own patchwork of sticks and mud?  I think we can.

If you really decide to shower your life, right where it is now, with love and attention, imagine how you, your home, your family, your workplace, and the life that is all around you, will blossom.

If you care about it enough to find the greatness that’s there, you will in fact create more greatness. That’s what really happens when one person courts another, isn’t it? The beauty of the pursued blossoms. If we can be purposeful with our gaze, then these ordinary things and ordinary days can become, in our hearts and our lives, extraordinary.

Let’s go and find more extraordinary. And so, make more, too. I’ll be here doing the same- finding it hidden, hopefully, under loads of laundry, in morning kid-kisses, and nestled in lots of the ordinary.

xo, Courtney (also Court, Coco, wife, mom, seeker, and courter of the extraordinary….)