A Family Motto

Do you have a family motto?

“Motto? What’s a motto?” “What’s a matter with you?” Anyone recognize these lines from a classicDisney movie? My kids and I were listening to the Lion King music the other day as we played in the basement. I laughed out loud at this interchange. I mean, those two words are so closely connected it is somewhat comical.

While I laughed at the irony, my daughter, age 3, was genuinely confused. “What is a motto, Mommy?! Or a matter? Wait, what did they say?!” Well dear, let me explain.

Much like the the silly interchange between characters suggests, mottos deal with what matters (or what’s the matter.)

“What do Daddy and I always say, sweetheart?” “Eat your vegetables?” “Well, yes, that ones good, too. But the other one.” “Oh, ‘Work together!’ ”

“Yes, that’s the one. That’s our family motto. It’s what we do. It’s who we are as a family. We work together.”

I laughed because the motto did come from a time of transition for our family. Our family motto organically developed shortly after we became a family of four (where the rubber meets the road, no?). It was a time of shifting our processes, making room for another life, another person. And not just that, but actually making them a part of our core group. That is no small task. No matter how much you love and adore this new baby, things have to shift.

I think the phrase may have started with my husband. It definitely became more ingrained with his strong manly voice. (I mean, when dads talk, kids listen, am I right?!) But no matter where it came from, it became our way of getting through the sticky spots.

“Work together” was whispered when the toddler wanted to be where the baby was in mommas arms.

“Work together!” was said more firmly when emotions maybe started to get a little big. (Not sure if that was more for the toddler or the emotional post partum mom).

“Work together!” was said boldly when we were moving out for an adventure of some kind or another, like a trip to the park across town or even a long road trip to the beach.

We somehow started hearing ourselves say this motto, over and over again.

It became a simple phrase to remind us of what mattered, to keep us focused. It was also a phrase that could tackle what might be the matter at any given moment.

Troube figuring something out or sharing? Trying to do a task that will move is forward? Work together!

We needed everyone to work together in a new way from here on out, to make this new phase, this new season, and our new normal, a success.

I’ll tell you what. It helped so much. It still does. It’s also a whole lot better to shout out a positive affirmation of what we DO and who we ARE, instead than shouting out what we don’t. It’s such an amazing difference to combat what you don’t want by contradicting it with what you do.

We LOVE. (Stop yelling!)

We’re KIND. (Don’t be mean!)

Work together. (Don’t be selfish.)

We need buy in, we need teamwork. Work together is our family motto. Our mission statement. It guides us in our God given purpose, together and separately. No one can or should do it alone, and so we work together to support each other, as we each chase after who we’re meant to be and what God has for us. We aren’t afraid of hard work to get there, and we want to think of and love others along the way.

So what’s your family motto? If you don’t have one yet, you should try finding one. Either as a family or by yourself, think about what you want most in your family. What’s most important? Maybe even what is missing right now? Kindness? Hard work? Love? Creativity?

Then reverse engineer it. Find a short, positive phrase that you too can yell when your kids are whining. 😉. But Seriously. Find one that you can say over and over, in a variety of situations, in a variety of ways. One that is a touchstone that you return to, that leads you back to the core of your values.

I can’t wait to hear what your motto is. One matters to you and maybe helps with what might be the matter. One that gives your family a guide and a goal. One that is whispered and stated, even echoed back from tiny voices.

It’s more than just words, it’s who you are. It’s who you’re becoming more every day, together. And that’s what matters.