The “Done” List

Hey there busy friend! I know we probably only have a few minutes together here, because, let’s face it, you’ve got a lot to do. The laundry just buzzed that it’s finished, the dishes are waiting on you, the dog needs a walk, and you’ve got errands to run today. (Or is it just me?!) Once the kids get up and the day really starts rolling, it’ll probably be hustle and juggle until the sun goes down. Plus a couple of hours. Just the thought of it makes you want to close this browser, stop delaying and move along, I know! That’s a good thing, in general. But wait! Before you rush off, can we talk for just a minute? It just might help you with what lies ahead today.

Do you have a to do list? Do you love it because checking off those finished items gives you such a sense of accomplishment? Or do you hate it because no matter how many things you check off, there’s ALWAYS MORE? Maybe you feel a little bit of both. I know that I do. I have the same love/hate relationship with it sometimes.

Because life doesn’t always go along in ways that work with my neat little to do lists.

How about when life throws curveballs and it becomes difficult to make any forward progress? Like when you’re sick or the kids are having a rough time. Or you’ve got something coming up and all of your energy is focused on one thing for the moment, and maybe it’s even one you didn’t choose, like taxes, a big work project or your kid’s science project, or maybe even worse. Life’s inevitables and inconveniences, big or small, can disrupt our already bustling existence. The mental to do list that can’t get checked off can leave us feeling defeated.

But even when the do list is shot, your day doesn’t have to be. Because living in this imperfect world, there’s a lot of room for error. These are merely chances to reframe how we look at things.

Here’s the trick I’ve learned on the days that there seems to be very little progress moving forward, very few check marks, and sometimes, not even a chance to think about the list.

I make a mental list. The DONE LIST.

What have I done today that has added any value to this life of mine, to this home, to these people? I have done this over and over when the days don’t go well, when my patience is thin, when someone is sick or having a bad day, when the weather is raining on our parade, when I haven’t felt enough. I have stood at the kitchen sink or in the shower (sometimes the only alone thinking place, am I right?) and I have counted the things that I have done. I start small and the list usually grows.

I have fed my children. I didn’t yell when I wanted to. I wiped the nose when needed. I restarted the project. I soothed the tears. I kept the house in one piece (mostly). I talked to someone I love and encouraged them. I extended grace. I earned a paycheck. I helped a client. I made the lunches and drove the car safely, everywhere we needed to go today. I took out the trash. I made my bed. I stayed where I was when I wanted to run and hide.

Sometimes, there’s lots of imperfect.

“I sat and read a book with my child, even when my mind was tired or sad or hurting.”

“I did one load of laundry (even thought there are seven still waiting.)”

Hidden in the “done” there are little pieces of seeming failure.

“I said I’m sorry” points to some existence of failure. But these are not total failures. If you can find a positive, there’s enough to count it a win. Even the awful, tricky bits of failures have a seed of hope. (What did you learn, what did you not do that could have been worse?)

Don’t worry, this trick is not meant to make you feel better about being a terrible person. This isn’t supposed to justify bad decisions or solidify bad behaviors. This is meant to help you find the good, and finding what’s truly good helps you identify and create more good. If you identify current success, it can help you reach for more. If you can find success in small ways, you will continually spur yourself on toward greater ones.

So much of life is lived in the space between your ears and you can find a way to become your own inner cheerleader, you will have a better chance at accomplishing what it is you’re meant to.

So when there are times that you feel defeated or like you’re failing a little (or maybe even a lot), make yourself your DONE LIST. Maybe even write it down. Start naming what you HAVE done and you’ll begin to know just how much value you already add to this world, even on the less significant days. Because just showing up for your life over and over again is a great win.

I don’t like to make promises I can’t keep, but I promise that if you can make your own DONE LIST the next time you face a bunch of “undone”, you will feel better. You will appreciate what you DID do. Start where you are and count success, no matter how small.

Because your small acts really have already accomplished a lot.
Sometimes the to do list wasn’t that important for today anyway. Becoming who you’re meant to be was, and is.

Go get ’em.