Easter: A Love story

When I was five years old, I watched a play, and it became so that upon this story the rest of mine now hangs. What started as a play, a piece of art if you will, became a central part of my life’s story. This story is still unfolding, but I share because it’s not just mine. It can be anyone’s. It is deeply personal, and yet universal. This is a story of Love.

It was a play about the life of Christ. Truthfully, I cannot even talk about it without crying. I don’t remember most of the details of the play, really, but it must have captured my young attention enough to care about the guy that, by the time they brought the Cross center stage and the actor playing Jesus “hung” there, I was enraptured. Perhaps that moment alone spoke loudly enough. I just kept staring at Him, at Jesus. Someone loved me enough to die a horrible death , supposedly in my place?

For a girl who didn’t like anything blood or gore, it was surprising that as I looked upon the scene, what I felt most, was love. Even at my young age, I was so deeply moved, I cried. I mean, I don’t know, were they undiluted, childlike tears or were they silent and steady? I don’t recall. But I know that inside, a seismic shift happened. My insides were all churned up, and my understanding of life dramatically changed in that moment. There was much that I didn’t understand, of course.

But at that moment I understood a sacred mystery.

They asked if people to come forward to pray, and I don’t even remember the words, but I don’t think I waited for or even asked for my mom’s permission. It was as if it was just between me and that man on the cross, Jesus. I had to know him. (It still is.) I turned with blurry eyes and headed down the aisle. My mom’s her dear friend was standing there, and she guided me forward.   I remember a woman praying with and asking me what I saw or thought about heaven. My mind was blank. I had no clue. But I didn’t need to know much about the the journey to start.

None of us do. Because salvation is a free gift. It was a one time act of Love that overcame evil and paid for our shortcomings. Jesus did all the heavy lifting; all we have to do is believe.  (“All” might be an awful lot. But compared to the risk, the gain might be worth it “all”. )

Faith is a lifetime of decision to walk in that grace, to keep allowing the act of redemption to do its work in me, and maybe, hopefully through me. If we are alive for even one nanosecond past when we believe, we can realize that the gift of his love is an endless ocean, a priceless jewel, the depths of which we will never get to. We get to spend the rest of our days unwrapping it and diving in. It’s not that we will never fail, but that we will keep falling into his endless grace.  

Here I am 37 years later. My faith has taken many forms of expression and understanding.  Even after going to church, and some Christian schooling, even bible college, I still don’t understand even close to everything. But I don’t have to. Because I understand that this is the single greatest, universal love story. One thing has remained the same. That man, Jesus. That man I first met all of those years ago is risen and alive and I’m still getting to know Him.

This Easter Sunday, we sat in a pew that somehow happened to have a statue of Jesus directly in front of us. It was not Jesus on the cross, it was the Risen Christ, with His arms and eyes, reaching out directly in front of me. There was a golden ribbon draped around His shoulders and it made me think of the keys He holds- to hell, death and the grave. I imagine, no, I know, that his ears were open as well. I know He heard my thanks that I mumbled through more tears. I know because I felt His Love wrap around me. “Greater love has no man..”. I felt as loved and known as I did all those years ago. Maybe even more so. Now we have history.

He’s been the constant in my story. Patient and sometimes, waiting in the wings while I’ve pursued other things. Too often. I’ve let other things take center stage. I let people steal some lines. I called in for understudies, searched for a replacement. It’s really hard to say that now, though living it often felt perfectly normal and even beautiful. But when I look back and see him there patiently waiting. Always, waiting for me to let Him Love me more. It’s then that I understand this story even more. He’s leading man material, truly. He’ll Love me, and lead so well, if I’ll just let Him.

Here’s the thing.

The end of our lives on earth is pretty certain. None of us live in these mortal shells forever, but the path is yet unfolding. There are many parts still being written. The next part of your story can be written by a Love that’s greater than anything, past or present. It wouldn’t be fair for me to not tell you. It wouldn’t be the love that I know to keep it locked up tight. At times I’ve feared being cheesy. But are not just words. They are bread and life. There’s more than enough to share.

Anytime, His love can fill your story too. Instead of sitting on the shores of (mis)understanding, why don’t you just dive in? 

This Love, it is the pearl of greatest price. One I always had in my pocket. As things got a little wacky this past year, I found myself reaching for it more, desperate for truth. My hand reached for this faith, and all that it held, running my hand over the smooth stone and watching it shine to brilliance. It has not been found lacking. This Love, it has always been more valuable than anything. I had forgotten just how much.

Now I pray these prayers on repeat. “Lord, Here I am. I see the love and forgiveness that you have for me. I want to know Who you are. Please show yourself to me. Fill me with your Love.” I just keep diving in…. you can too.