I have not blinked

I have not blinked. 

I have barely missed a thing. 

And yet here they are growing up before my very, our very eyes. It’s good and beautiful and heartwarming and gut wrenching and awful and wonderful all at the same time. 

I reserve a little part of me in allowing for a theology that in heaven, we might get to do it again. 

We might get to slow down and savor, again. Because we’re all trying here on earth. But it doesn’t slow down, and sometimes we don’t, and someday they don’t either. 

So I must think that the God who redeems all things might redeem that too? 

Those baby cheeks and big smiles and easy laughs and long snuggles. That try don’t go away and disappear forever. That somehow they wait, again for us? To enjoy, again. To inhale and exhale, together, again. 

Yes, I must or do, firmly believe that. In some way, heaven has to be a do over, only totally unrushed. Completely free of worries or fear. 

Only pure excitement, enjoyment, and love. 

Because that has to be Heaven, right? 

It has to be. 

Because God is Love. 

And then I remember that He’s right here too. 

When I slow down to remember that, I can slow down and remember to love, NOW. Not only later. 

Though it will come, forever- I have here, today. 

So I might as well get started, loving. 

Again. 

In this little slice of heaven here, too.