Advice now, on Baby

Hey, new parents! You just welcomed your beautiful new baby!I was just washing dishes, thinking about this new life that youve welcomed, with my own kids running around in the next room, and was overcome by thoughts of it all. I guess seeing someone starting out this big, beautiful new journey will do that to you. I had to stop and write, and cry at the wonder of it all. I thought I’d share, if you’ll allow. Just a bit different this time.

Advice to you, now On having a baby.

The main advice: Stop listening to advice. 

(Funny huh? I guess I could stop there, but let me try to explain.)

Look at that baby before you.  Your child, this miracle, right before your very eyes.  I don’t need to tell you that this tiny person is  going to change everything.  Right now, only hours in, you already know this.

Breathe into it, this new life, this precious gift and miracle.  Breathe it in.  And yes. Stop listening to advice. 

Don’t get me wrong. You’ll give and get plenty of it over time. But listen, now, to this.  Listen to what this gift is saying.  What it is and what it will teach you.

They will teach you so much. This tiny person already has so much to bring to this world. Innate knowledge and wisdom, enthusiasm and joy. Your own kid will show you more than you will possibly ever teach them.  Fresh from heaven, they will teach you about it. Earth, too. In fact, most surprisingly, they will teach you so much about yourself. (They already started didn’t they?)

Pay *close* attention, to all of these things. 

We’re pretty good at turning kids into adults.  But we’re maybe worse at other things-  like slowing down and learning ourselves. We’re better it seems at slowly loosing bits of magic, ours and theirs. There is wonder and delight of knowing and becoming known, a joy of discovery.   Don’t loose that.  For both, for all, of your sakes. 

They already came with, so much, wired in a certain way, ways that have nothing to do with nurture.   The way they just arrived, how they scrunch their face or open their eyes or wail and cry.  You are already discovering this, bits and pieces, clues of what they have to give and who they are already. Before your very eyes, these miracles begin to unfold. You’ll find it things they enjoy and dislike , things that move them, motivate them.   Later still, the Mountains they are already destined to climb. 

Listen with your heart as you watch them. Then when they ask for directions, with newborn baby cries or teenage angst, you’ll better know how to answer, based on what you’re learning about them and this life.
Now it’s snuggles,  soon it will be other things, unfolding. 

Their path will be theirs to discover. *They* are yours to discover -as they discover it themselves, and the world around them. This path they were set upon, starting here in your arms, today. It will be a good one.   It will be hard and beautiful, much like yours, only different.

Their trip isn’t yours. I mean, you’ll drive for a while. Some years you’ll drive a lot. From doctors visits in baby car seats to baseball and first days of school. Eventually one of you will drive away, for “good” (but don’t worry, not forever.)

Because with the start of their path, your own new one starts too. You have your path as parent. The paths be different and separate. They are connected, and for a while, both will intertwine so intimately it will be hard to unravel. Inexplicable they will change and unravel, but forever be tied together with love.

Mom and Dad., you were born for this, too. Right here, right now, this very moment, you were born to be this child’s parent.
This path was meant for all of you Enjoy your front row seat.

Remember the only advice intended today: Don’t worry so much the advice.  Learn by watching, listening and loving them. They will teach you everything you need to know, if you’re paying attention. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice but don’t start there. Always first listen, to the hearts of the people on the path.

Yours, theirs, and God’s. He’s right there with you all.