Standing with my feet at the edge of the pool yesterday, another mom and I got chatting yesterday. We were both making the last, “it’s time to go”, calls. Then my daughter asked for one more jump, for the both of us, and I said with a smile, “Welllll…alright.”
I turned to the mom next me and said, “I mean, it is summer, after all, and we don’t reaaaaallly have to go.” She laughed. “I know. I mean I just have to go make dinner when we get home.” “I know, same!” I comiserated. “I just need to remember. Sometimes I speed up, so I can slow down. But sometimes, I should just slow down.”
This morning I was thinking about that again. In my slow time. My quiet time. That would soon by interrupted by tiny feet. Remembering that wherever my feet are, is important. Right here, alone. Soon, interrupted. Remembering to slow down. Remembering my feet, dangling over the edge of the the pool yesterday. Knowing where they are now. Trying to remember that wherever they are is important.
Remembering what courting the extraordinary is all about anyway. The idea that dropped into my heart years ago. That wherever my feet are, there is beauty. Purpose. Promise. Love. I only have to look around. To slow down and see it…
And you know what I have found? In case you hadn’t noticed. Not only the love of family and life and all that is good right here. But the love of a savior, that keeps showing up, and taking me deeper. Him who is right beside me. Always has been. Always will be. What is extraordinary anyway? Extraordinary is Him. Extraordinary isn’t something I make or do or become. Extraordinary isn’t something I can achieve. Extraordinary is something. Like Love, that pulls you in, that’s waiting to be discovered. Pure heavenly love, that sets you free, and doesn’t hold you down, or hold you back. It’s not an earthly imposter that looks like more like ‘accepting’ or ‘holding on.’ Pure love sets you free, it won’t let you down, and it won’t let you fall. Not really. Not the way you might fear. (You’ll get back up.)
Extraordinary is Christ. Christ with me, Christ in me. Extraordinary is here. Extraordinary is now. Already. In this life. You can go ahead and jump… Extraordinary is you and me, set free….
What is it any way, this Communion? Is it bread and wine A little at a time Is it life unfolding? One thread after the next, Unraveling, Without you? Is it daily bread, Is it something new?
Is it bend or break With one small mistake? Is it stretch and fold Just to fit some mold. Or Is it a prayer, becoming?
Is it love, unraveling, This communion? All that I’ve made With my twisted lives And these made up lies Forgetting what’s right there Before my Unseeing eyes Before my selfish lies Before my reprise Write another love song This time let it be new Let it be true
Is it finding you’re Already here And you want to be near. Is it seeing you’re Good Like you said you would Be Here
Where there’s no fear. Not a care Can be found within you and You draw me out of mine, into you
It’s where I want to stay Because I can’t Drive it all away, Without you.
There’s something new. something fresh. that I can’t see Unless I believe You
And I do. Yes I do. You make all things new. It starts here, every day with you, today. Giving you All my worries And leaning in To your grace
You said you’d never leave and When the wolves Snarl outside the door You’ll drive them away, If I turn your way So I do I do
Come and be With me. Communion is real Because You’re Already Here to stay.
Today was my son’s last day of preschool and so, it was my Last Day packing a little towel into his backpack for him. The towel that they use to lay on when it’s rest time.
And it struck me. Maybe not in the way that you might think, but maybe in the way that you might need to hear.
You know, as I was volunteering in the classroom the other day and I got to be there to witness the kids get out their towels and laythem out across the rug.
Some have really special towels and the towels they were proud of with pretty pictures or soft textures. Some of them showed them off to me. I looked over at my sons towel. It’s usually just a plain white towel I grab in a flurry, maybe even a little raggedy around the edges. I never really thought of packing a special towel, not too much. Or if the thought ever did cross my mind, it left as quickly as it came, with a flurry of other commotions and excitement.
And that’s okay. Though there is nothing wrong about packing a “best“ towel, and for a moment I perhaps I should’ve.
Then I realized.
That what I gave him was already enough already. It was always enough.
It might be a little ragged around the edges. I might have forgotten a few times.
But The love that I gave him, the care, the time, the attention, in all the little details, even the days I forgot, land he had to borrow a towel from school.
It was always more than enough.
It didn’t have to be fancy. It just had to be. And it was. There.
And do was I.
I witnessed, all of it, that I could. I did, the very best that I could. Perhaps we won’t remember all of the running around we did or the sacrifices we made or the hustle, just get that raggedy towel laid out for our kids. or maybe we will. But maybe we shouldn’t worry about it. Maybe it just is, just was, just will be enough. Enough for it to be. What it is. What it was. What it will be.
We laid out the table, we laid out the towels and so much of ourselves. It will be enough because it already is.
While I cringe for a minor second if I think about those threadbare edges of the towel I sent in from time to time, I know my heart is not threadbare. Or maybe it is just a little. And that’s okay too.
We have given, parents. We love, we lay down, we witness. That, plus telling them, showing them of God’s unending love, is going to be enough.
When we look back we’ll wish we had more to give. But we did it all, friends. We did everything we could, everything we knew to do, everything we had time to. That, and God’s presence is enough, more than enough.
If we can raise our kids to remember this, it definitely is.
You did everything humanly possible as a parent. So you’ll look back at times and when there was enough? If you’re being being really honest with yourself and remember there was everything you had to guess. You laid it out like an offering that threadbare towel and it was more than enough. Why because it didn’t have to be perfect because it was done out of love as a sacrifice I not only for a creator But for the children and he placed in your care. And that is why I will always be enough because you are never alone too We won’t be judged the way we judge one another or maybe even ourselves Will be judged by loving God who knows the difference between an offering. Who knows that a threadbare towel is Sometimes the best you got. Sometimes it’s all you’ve got. It doesn’t matter so much what really matters that you gave
That God anoints our heads with oil, even if mom forgot to brush it. That love never forgot us, even if we think it did. It never does.
That God, He laid out a table before us , there in the presence of our enemies. Sometimes the enemy seems to be time itself. And the ability to do the things well. But it’s not. We can rest. Knowing that right here, is enough. That our efforts are enough.
I think too, that what looks less than impressive might still be more than enough. That not everything can be judged by what we see or seem to place value on. That our imperfections don’t get the final word. That love wins out more than anything, and can’t be narrowed down or demonstrated in any one thing. Or maybe one. But that’s a cross and not a towel. Let’s remember that.
It’s enough because of that cross. That Christ demonstrated His Love for us in this way, that he laid out his life for his friends. Friend, that makes us enough. Not out efforts or our titles But knowing we are loved, and then loving. Knowing that I am who I am, and I lay it all out before God, and my family.
It has to be, and always is, enough.
And so I’ll keep going, and keep choosing love. Keep laying out a blanket, a towel, a table, of love. It’ll look different in the next stages. And it doesn’t ever have to be fancy. It just has to be. Me. Giving, in love.
And because of that, it is always going to be enough.
I was getting ready to run out the door with my family, for church, and myself being the last, usual step, I glanced at the mirror for a moment. I looked and thought I “needed” something. I opened the drawer to pull out a headband that I bought a few years back. It’s a really cute one. To look at in the drawer, at least. The minute it goes on my head, though, I usually hate it. I mean, I like headbands, AND, I don’t even like to use the word “hate”. But it fits.
Again, as I put it on this morning, I can confirm. I hate everything about it. How it looks on me, and everything else it represents. It stands up too tall, the pearl beads are too pronounced around my face, my ears seem to stick out. I dislike how I look, it doesn’t see, right. I think of how I see “everyone” wearing it on Instagram, and maybe a few people in real life. (Insert eye roll.) Some people look great in it, but I don’t. And I dislike thinking about this.
I take it off. ”You don’t like it, mommy?” my daughter asks?
“No, I just don’t like it on me.”
Remember, I don’t dislike it. It looks great in my drawer! Why else have I kept it this long, even though I don’t wear it. The thing is, it’s just not for me.
Sometimes it takes figuring out who you’re not for a little while before figuring out who you really are.
And truthfully, all I can think of when I see it, is how influenced I was. How influenced we all were who bought it. Who buy anything, really. I mean, I’m not upset or anything. We all have to find things, buy things, learn and grow. I’m not bothered by the person who influenced me to buy it, I was a willing participant. But still. The whole thing bothers me sometimes.
“Too many people wear it,” I say.
“Oh, I get it. You don’t want to follow, you want to be a leader,” my daughter says, nodding, not unwisely.
“Well, that’s kinda true. But it’s not even really that this time. True, I don’t want to just follow anyone else. I do want to be a leader But more importantly, I just want to be my best, and I don’t care if anyone follows or not.”
Life really is just the blind leading the blind sometimes. It’s kind of embarrassing when you really think about it. How the whole thing works. Everything is so fickle, feedback based, and changing.
People give and feedback- in life, on ”platforms” or in positions. It comes in the form of sales, followers, likes, questions, comments, rejections, and affections alike. We tailor and change our content and “dressings” according to what feels good, and often, to fit what people want. What people say or seem to say, whatever our metrics are that we’re busy measuring. There are collaborations and responsibilities and partnerships, in business and life, and with all of it, benchmarks to hit, repeat, hit, repeat.
I know, it’s life, it’s business, its savvy. But for many, it’s very personal. For some it is their person. It becomes their person, their livelihood. A brand, identity, or purpose even.
But, that way of living, alone, and building a business or life, no less, is less than ideal. Not just sales or metrics, but the meaning behind them. Why?
Because it is shifting sand.
Without the right things, some constants, influencing you, how can you be of true influence? Sure you can influence. But will it ever be enough or mean enough even to you personally, if all thats guiding you is how much people like you or don’t like you, accept or reject you based on whatever it is you are saying, selling, or sharing?
Is feedback ever enough, in life or pursuit?
Never. No human feedback is ever enough. Because no person alone can see what is printed upon your heart, and what influence you were meant to have, what difference you were truly meant to make. It’s written in invisible, heavenly ink. It’s not defined by human standards or man-made measuring sticks.
It’s above and beyond all of that. How do you, how could you, define whether something is a true success or not, if you can’t see it- what’s written on the heart, by an invisible hand, for an eternal purpose?
Speaking of that headband. I saw it again a few days later. While musing in my heart about these things, and how we cant measure according to what we see on the outside, but instead by following a heart informed by Love, I saw someone else wearing it. I like her even more than the person who ”sold” it to me. Her content and values match up with mine more, and I feel more affinity. Her platform has grown lately , her books have been recently published and that smiling face of hers fit the headband much better than mine. But it wasn’t the headband that bothered, or stood out to me. It was something else. It wasn’t how beautiful or funny she is, or her adorable family in pictures, or her recent family vacation to the beach. I didn’t want to click on links or buy anything or try anything.
It was the published author bit. Not because its a competition, not at all. Not that kind of influence, but because the spark in me doesn’t long for validation, but longs to come out. But because she’s doing something that I am very influenced to do, too, already. Something written on my heart in invisible ink since before I was born. Something I’m working on and dreaming of and hoping for, in big ways and small.
That’s influence of the best kind. One that is not defined or created by another person, but taps into your own greatest worth, and what you sense is already there, and just needs to come out. What mirrors back to you what is already written on your heart and says to your truest you, ”come out!” Not, “become like me.” But, “Be who you were always meant to be!”
Beyond looks, likes, and headbands
It’s not an idea or an influence, a practice even, that make something good or bad, it’s whats behind it. What’s pushing the decision, the response, and what’s influencing you. What is the influence? Then, what kind of fruit does it produce? Not only in the world around you, but in you?
Some things take years to build, while others happen in an instant. It’s not the pace or speed of the process or its completion that define success. You can spend years working, years building without anything to show for it. You can spend a lieftime building what looks quite fruitless from the outside. It’s whether or not it fits the plans. That were drawn for you, already. That men can’t imagine, so how could they define?
If what you are doing is influenced by God, and what He has spoken, or written to your heart, then there is no fruitless. There is only gold.
There’s a measuring that happens only by His hands. Of invisible things, weighty things. Not everything that is important can be measured by man, and not all that seems fruitless really is.
There are seeds that are plant that reap a harvest you will never see. There are people that have wide influence and there are some that go very deep. Gardens of eternal difference, that appear to be not to big. There are certain seeds that will fall into a quiet spot, but become an eternal disruptor. Some of the most important fields are not the ones that look the most expansive or impressive, but they are important because they go the deepest. They change the furthest because they touch the heart. Influence comes in all shapes and immeasurable sizes.
So that headband, I shoved it back in my drawer. Though I think about throwing it away, I just also might keep it To remember, to not only not be overly influenced by others, or even seek to be to an influence, really. But to be genuinely showing up and shining myself, from the inside out. Sharing with the world who I am, and giving almost always, last thought to how I look and first thought to how I’m really showing up.
Listening to the heart, to Love, learning to love , reading the invisible ink. Not seeking to be led by anything else but a most loving God. Not seeking to see if anyone should even follow, but only following for myself the leading of God. Not caring about the size of things, the shape of things, or human measurements, but letting Love go deep, yet and, deeper still.
Thankful that God doesn’t care whether I wear the headband or not, who loves me just the same regardless. Who allows me the space to be expressive and delights in seeing me delighted. Whose Love is not defined by perceived beauty, likes or followers. Whose definition of success is not defined by what I can even see, but who sees the harvest, and fruit a heart. Whose Love is displayed perfectly in Christ, who freed me to be perfectly me- influenced by Love and expressing that into the world, whatever that looks like.
That is the influence I want in my life. He knows where we’re going, where He’s leading us, best. Be influenced , to be perfectly you.,.🙌🏻
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love. 