The message popped up on my screen last Friday, “Hey, friend, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say!” There was a link attached. A current senior from our bible college was reaching out on an alumni Facebook group. They were looking for advice as they prepare to graduate, and decided to ask those who have gone before. My heart leapt inside of me, and I knew immediately what I would say.
“Always listen for the still small voice.”
My fingers were itching to type it, and more, truth be told. But as much as I wanted to chime in, I couldn’t. You see, I had just started, that very morning, a week long break from Facebook. All because I had, well, listened to that still, small voice.
The irony was not lost on me.
See, I love good conversation and I love to discuss important issues, like faith, freedom, love, family, to name a few. I love discourse and discovery that happens in the conversation, of others and myself. But sometimes I love it too much. And it’s good to step away and listen a bit more to the people and the life that are all around you. And of course, that still small voice.
Now almost a week later, my fingers have been itching to type the answer ever since. I’m not itching to return to FB and am really enjoying the space. That thread is probably long buried, too. But I realize that the beating words in my heart aren’t going away, do this is as good a place as any. So here goes!
**Let me say first, though this applies directly to someone preparing to graduate bible college, it doesn’t just apply to them. I think it applies to almost anyone who a) is transitioning into a new phase of life, b) has a heart to love God and/or other people, or c)wants to walk in their best life, their fullest potential. If that sounds like you at all, keep reading…
One: Always always listen for the still, small voice. God is always speaking, but His voice is most often quiet and gentle. Being a true gentleman, and not the controlling bully that too many picture Him to be, God doesn’t often shout. (Though He sometimes will if necessary!)
It starts most often in your heart, as a stirring or a feeling. Sometimes it even makes absolutely no sense to your mind. But you can’t deny how much it makes sense to your heart. If you’re wise you’ll listen. Even when it might not make sense on paper, there’s something in your spirit that agrees with it. It is also easy to connect with because it demonstrates His character. While his voice is not always big and bold in volume, it is always big and bold in love. Which is why you must keep your heart open to it.
When I was preparing to leave bible college, I had some really really good offers on the table. One was even the kind that got attention of the Dean of Students. Men actually. He was the sharp and serious kind. Though his words that I’d be “perfect for the job” meant so much, the job still just didn’t feel right. None of the options did. So I went home, worked in a coffee shop, and waited.
Two: About “ministry”: It’s all ministry. Your life is the ministry.
This might sound wacky talking to a group of bible college students or graduates, but the truth is, you’re not really called to a church, or to any other particular mission field. You are called first, to the Lord .
You’re called to know Him. Out of knowing Him, you will go to any number of places- all over the world, or around the corner- and share that Love that you know first from Him. You won’t be able to not minister His love. It will flow out naturally.
Helping should always remain secondary. Religion led by a desire to help or bless others, instead of led by your desire for the Lord, can quickly go awry, and even end up doing more harm than good. If it’s not connected to your first Love, it will quickly be in danger of becoming people pleasing of the most egregious kind- in the name of the Lord, but not in His Spirit.
Yes, some of you will be then called to serve in churches. Or neighborhoods. Or any number of places, secular or sacred. Since the Lord lives in you, and is with you everywhere you go, there is no longer a sacred and a secular. It is, all of it, sacred. Whether you’re painting a wall or holding a little person’s hand or giving someone a ride or sharing a message of hope or laughter, all of it is sacred. More ministry happens in everyday life than we often realize. (Look for it.)
Those great opportunities that I turned down? Led me to become a nanny and assistant for some really wonderful kids and families. If you know anything in life, you know that helping to care for another persons basic needs and wellbeing is, in fact, ministry.
Three: You can’t mess it up merely as much as you think.
There is one thing I’ve seen over time, and it’s that there is not one single path that you have to figure out and choose. Sometimes there are definite junction points upon which bing changes can hinge. But it is not something you can get either completely wrong or right based on your feeble choices.
It’s not even a choose-your-own-adventure. While it does feel like it, and holds a similar web of possible pitfalls, roads and opportunities alike, there is one guiding truth that sets it apart, one thing that matters more than your feeble efforts: God is more willing than you are to see your calling fulfilled.
As you look ahead, as much as you don’t know, you can know this: There will be so much grace. We easily forget just how gracious and loving our God really is. He will find more opportunities for you to walk in your destiny or calling than any number of pitfalls that you might stumble upon. Even if you placed them there yourself.
If you make a mistake, on purpose or by accident, know that He sees and knows your heart more than anyone, and He is more gracious than we often understand. He is not controlling, and He allows you to choose your direction, but if you do happen get a little lost at any point, He’ll help set your feet on a good path whenever you ask.
There probably a hundred ways to get where you need to go. Take some pressure off of yourself. Trust Him.
One last note, an addendum: Expect to be surprised. It’s often how God works. Even when we know Him, there’s still so much that we don’t yet know. He’s bigger than we can fathom, more gracious than we give Him credit for.
When your surprised one way or another, refer back to number 1 (Listen). And also, 2 (Love). Keep in mind 3 (Trust.) It is often not as complicated as we make it, but there is plenty to learn. Enjoy the discovery, and surprises.
I’m right there with you. My own surprises are unfolding now too. Twenty years after leaving bible college, it’s just getting started in some ways. Dormant dreams, stirred callings, and greater Love. We’re all still on a journey if we’re still breathing. I think there’s something in the air.
Love is absolutely a real live, action word, a verb. Sometimes though, especially around a day like Valentine’s Day, it can feel like there’s one giant scorecard keeping track of everything that love does. It’s pretty easy to start measuring Love just by what we hear it say and see it do. Amongst a generation of overachievers and oversharers though, perhaps it’s better not to. Because sometimes love is as much about what it doesn’t do, as what it ever does.
It might be harder to find this evidence, because, well, it’s not screaming from the rooftops, holding armfuls of flowers, or preparing beautiful meals and posting them online. I mean sometimes it really is some of those things. But sometimes it much less picture worthy.
Besides, what does patient, or kind, or “rejoicing in the truth” actually look like?
Sometimes it looks like cold jello on a plate, and letting someone take a nice long nap. It might not look like much, but if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of it before, you know that it, in fact, is.
If you look around with eyes that love, you find lots of evidence of the kind. It happens every day, all around this globe. Yet we still look for the roses. These acts of love, they are the roses. It’s these small moments, where understanding hearts show love personified, that are most beautiful.
Love is the words that are unsaid, the bitter ones that get swallowed back.
The judgment it withholds.
Love is the thoughts that it doesn’t entertain.
The pity party it doesn’t throw.
The resentment it throws off its back each time it tries to crawl on.
It’s the hugs it doesn’t give. The space it holds for discovery, and forgiveness.
The silence it allows. The words it turns instead, only to prayers.
These things are love too.
Valentines Day love may be unabashed and extravagant, more dressed up and lovely. There is a blessed space for that. But so often, love might be found in the dirt, in the trenches of life, mucking its way through things. It’s the purest kind of love that is found there, and also the strongest.
Love with its work-boots on.
This generous and selfless Love crawls quietly into trenches alongside you when necessary, and stays out if you need that, too. It does what’s right for someone else, even if a different path might look more admirable, or more lovely. Flowers might be nice, but they aren’t always what’s needed.
This Love can be misinterpreted.
But it doesn’t care what it looks like to anyone else. This love breaks the molds of what it’s ‘supposed’ to look like. It accepts what already is. It does what is needed, not what it wants. It requires no fanfare, no applause.
It serves fish when it wanted steak. It stays in when it wants to go out, or goes out when it would rather stay in. It holds a tongue and practices a breath of patience. (Even when it comes up a bit short, it tries.) It sees the child dressed in their own wild style, and allows for it, because it hurts no one and compromising nothing, except one’s own parental sensibilities.
It’s how we are even loved by our Savior. He shows us how to do it, giving, on a cross while many despise the thought. He doesn’t overwhelm us with His many (wonderful!) thoughts. He doesn’t over-talk (a lifelong quest for me to learn!) He gently waits for us to reject or embrace him. His love is immeasurable but he doesn’t force itself, or fill the room with flowers, or belt out the song by your window until you’re ready.
His love is self sacrificing, withholding at times, of both what he wants, and also what we deserve. He offers gracious, unimaginable Loving-kindness instead.
Most of us can’t even manage self love with everything we know about ourselves, but His Love puts on the work boots anyway, doesn’t strong-arm us, gets alongside us if we want him to, and somehow, helps us make something beautiful out of things eventually.
So how does this relate to your life, your relationships? When you know that this is how you’re loved, you can love like this.
This Love plays the long game. Gives the jello. Waits it out. Loves from an arms length. And absolutely embraces when someone is ready.
The next time you feel the space, know that it’s okay. Remember that you can love well, even from a distance. It’s the kindest things sometimes. And that distance can be covered in a instant.
It is an act of love to love someone the way that they need to be loved. In action, or inaction, with words or in silence. From close or afar.
Love isn’t diminished by any of it, but in fact, it grows there. It lives in these spaces more than we know. Love is about what it does, and also, precisely about what it doesn’t do sometimes. Fill up those trenches with loving- nothings. Sometimes it’s the best thing that you never do.
I sat in the car, such a heavy heart. While sitting in the drivers seat, occupying in name alone, I felt pretty helpless. Unfolding realities were reminding me of how little control any of us really have it seems, at times. Scrolling for an answer, yet finding none. Listening to a talking head, no peace to be gained there, closing the screen. I breathed deeply in and out, trying to calm the hammering in my chest.
Then I closed my eyes to pray. When you feel this adrift, what else is left, anyway? Prayer is indeed the lifeline. I normally feel that closing of eyes is not required. Sometimes, though, like right now, it feels very necessary. It remains the only fitting thing- to close my eyelids. To close my mind to the hunt for every other possible solution.
That’s often when you can actually finally find the one you need..
Instantly this time, I hear “ Who do you say that I am?”
Reverberating with truth, I know it as soon as I hear it. It is undeniably the voice of the Lord. The one friend who never tells lies. The one who my heart longs for.
“Who do you say that I am?”
With one simple sentence, a rush of clarity comes.
Who do I say, indeed. I begin to name some of His attributes out loud. The ones that I know from personal experience, and from a lifelong study. Lifelong school, at the very least.
You are Kind. You are Compassionate. You are True to Your Word. You see it all. You don’t lie. You are Faithful. You hold us in Your Hand. You hold the world in your hand. You set the stars in place and you know them by name. You are King.
I release a flood of gratitude as I say, and remember, Who is with me. This then replaces the flood of tension I had held. It’s not about the huge problems that I see and feel in that moment. Or any moment.
No matter how big the issues that I face or you face, there is a loving God who is bigger than all of it. Who offers to be with you, right where you are. Drivers seat, or sick bed, high on a mountaintop or in a deep valley of some kind of darkness. He can be there with you.
However, it’s not just who He is. But who do you allow Him to be, for you. Because He is a consummate gentleman. He doesn’t come as often by force as He does by invitation.
If you’re sitting in a valley of frustration, or idling in a place of overwhelm, or feeling helplessness with some circumstances, invite Him to be there with you. Remember Who He is, and seek to learn more. He has so many amazing attributes.
He IS the love, understanding, kindness, compassion, and great strength that you need.
Let him be for you what it is that you need.
Watch as how you feel about your circumstances changes, the edges soften, the sharpness dulls, when you remember the eternal Love that stands bedside you, is with you, and ultimately, conquers all. Watch problems shrink in comparison of a great, present God. Feel your heart swell and your troubles melt.
It is the ultimate exchange, this divine friendship. And it’s available for you.
The possibilities are endless, and every one of them, good.
Welp, anyone’s thoughts that turning the calendar to a new year might magically help things was….hopeful, but wrong. The days still bringing uncertainty and require us to navigate a host of emotions. There are many coping mechanisms, but one I wanted to remind you is particularly useful. Music is the language of the soul, that can help from therapy to mood enhancement. Music has the ability to connect you to your emotions, which can help you process things. A sad break up, a sunny day, a bit of melancholy can all find mirrored expression in song.
However, sometimes you don’t want to stay where you are. You don’t want to keep experiencing what it is that you’re already feeling. You need to move on from that space. That is when music can become a very useful tool
Sometime in life you look around and realize that YOU are the leader, the one in charge, even if that just of a party of one: yourself. It’s then that you realize emotions- though valuable and important, meant to connect us with human and spiritual experience- were never meant to be the Guide, the Boss, or the Captain. Emotions are fickle, easily swayed, and often swelled. They make a terrible front man.
There’s a quote from the U.S. Navy SEAL Creed that feels so appropriate.
“I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men, uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.We expect to lead and to be led. In the absence of orders, I will take charge, lead my teammates, and accomplish the mission“.
We can’t lead with emotions. So what can we lead with? How about leading with what the world needs most right now? How about we lead with Love.
Love is not just an emotion. Love is a state of being, a character, and a truth. Love is many things, but it is never pushy, controlling, or thoughtless. Love is selfless, patient, forgiving, and kind. Love is a force to be reckoned with. Love sometimes requires great bravery, because hatred wages a war against it. But Love shows up anyway, creating the necessary. And Love never fails.
It’s time we let Love really lead us. For that to happen, though, I don’t know about you, but I can’t find enough in myself. Not the emotion love nor the bravery to act on it. It’s not hidden with the change and the crumbs at the bottom of my handbag. It’s not tucked into a coat pocket and forgotten like a dollar bill. It’s not in the pantry or available from prime delivery.
I have some measure of love, from what I’ve received. But what happens when I get to the end of it? When my fuse is short or my well is dry? When I want to give more but can’t seem to do it. When all I want to do is hide?
Real deep Love is not from me, it’s not by me. But it is everywhere, and it’s abundant. It comes from God alone and it’s perfect. All I ever have to do is position myself underneath the flow of its incredible grace.
I don’t have to create the love or courage that I need for these trying days. I need to only lead myself, lead my emotions and my overworking brain, to a place where I can receive it. I need only to position myself beneath the waterfall, beside those still waters.
Then what splashes out of me when I’m bumped, spills over when I’m full, or pours from of me when I’m broken will be something that’s beyond me.
The only way for that to happen is to let the good stuff in. How the heck do you do it? With prayer. With reading good stuff. And for me, so often, with music.
Music has been an incredibly beautiful piece of the picture for me. Every day, at various times throughout the day, I turn on songs that literally seem to fill my soul. They not only encourage me, they remind me of that great Love God has for me, and the great love he has for the world. You don’t have to listen to what I listen to. But you can be mindful of what you are feeding your soul.
While the world has been crazy about healthy, organic, Non-GMO, vitamins, supplements, and superfoods, they have neglected to think enough of what we are feeding our souls.
Needing courage? Then put in courage. Needing peace? Plant peaceful songs or instruments. Need more love? How can any of it still out of you if it hasn’t been put in? Listen to songs that fill you with the deep waters of the Love that there is for you , especially from the divine source . For how can anything good pour out of us unless it’s put in there? Life is constantly bumping against us, things are always spilling out. So it’s time we take responsibility as grownups, and feed ourselves the way we should. With what both we and the world need.
You don’t have to listen all day or even any day. Start with a song that makes you feel more of the love that your soul needs. Stop feeling thirsty, and give yourself what you need. See if you feel any differently after listening, go from there. There’s no right way to do this. There’s just finding a better one each day.
I decided to put together a playlist to share of some of my favorites. It’s on Spotify, which seems like the easiest way, and you can access it here>>>>playlist.
In case you’re not on Spotify (which is super easy and free in case you’re wondering), I wrote down the playlist. You can search for theses songs on whatever platform, video service, or music streaming service you prefer!
1- The Voice of God – Dante Bowe**
2-The Story I’ll Tell- Maverick City Music
3- The Blessing (Live)- Kari Jobe
4- You Hold It All Together – Maverick City Music
5- Awake My Soul- Hillsong Worship
6- Protector (Live)- Kim Walker Smith
7- Pieces (spontaneous) -Bethel Music **
8- Sing My Way Back- Steffany Gretzinger
9-No Fear In Love – Steffany Gretzinger
10- Reckless Love (Spontaneous)- Bethel Music
11-House on a Hill- Amanda Lindsay Cooke **
12-Sails (Live)- Pat Barrett
13-Always Good (Live)- Hannah McClure
14-It Is Well – Kristene Dimarco
If this is a new concept for you, and you’re feeling unsure about it, I get it. I starred a few songs that are really beautiful starting points. Even if you never listen to any one of theses songs, I hope that this has made you think about what kind of steps that you can take to ensure a little more peace and love in your days. I know, everyone could use more of both right now. Xoxo
Tomorrow will mark the Epiphany. Epiphany has several meanings, and one is “a sudden revelation or insight”. Epiphany also is a notable day in the Church, celebrating when the wise men found Jesus, thereby representing when all Gentiles then found Jesus.
We seem to be living in a time of continued insight and revelation, to all sorts of information, and it can be confusing or overwhelming. It’s important to keep in mind this: Truth is never silent. We just sometimes need to do a better job at paying attention.
The wise men, who sought truth by looking to the stars, finally found it. The ultimate Truth. God’s love come from heaven to earth. They didn’t even understand all of what it meant yet. How could they? Whether they understood it or not had no bearing on whether it was true.
We are all wise men. At first, at least. We are seeking truth, turning over rocks, looking for understanding. Big truths, little truths. All of it. Sometimes we find it, and keep it. Other times we might return those pieces holding truth back to their place- in disbelief, or to cover it from our eyes, try ignore it. Because it’s too hard or too unreasonable or unfathomable. It will not cease to be true.
When we find truth or Truth, we can choose to be like children, cover our ears, close our eyes, and wish it to go away. Worse yet, we could choose to be like King Herod, who when he found out the truth, felt that it would jeopardize his position. And so he sought to destroy it.
Herod’s plan to destroy the truth didn’t work out, by the way. The truth accomplished what it came to earth to accomplish. Even if others didn’t know what even happened. Truth always triumphs, even when people don’t accept it. Even when it doesn’t look like anyone was hoping.
One of my favorite Christmas cards of all says , “Wise men still seek Him.” We can choose to be wise men if, after finding truth, we don’t walk away from it. Especially the biggest truth of all, of the baby who would save us from ourselves. We can come, too, and kneel before the One who Is.
Truth requires humility and faith, both. Truth can’t be ignored forever, and it is never is forgotten. Once someone knows truth, even a sliver of it, they will always know it. Even if, or rather when, their mind tries to talk them out of it. Your heart will still always know. Truth doesn’t disappear. Truth is not silent, nor will stay hidden forever. We just sometimes need to do a better job of paying attention. Truth never lies. We just tell ourselves some or a lot of those.
My prayer this year is for more LOVE and UNDERSTANDING. See, sometimes lies start with misunderstanding. So I would like to find more of both. With continued discovery, and uncovering. Maybe you would like to join me. It is wise to never stop seeking truth. Those that do are on a continued journey of discovery. Oh, to be a wise man, who hears, who humbles himself, and who shares with others. Even if you’re not sure what anyone will do, yourself among them, when you find it. Truth is not intimidated by anything. It changes things when it speaks.
Truth is, Jesus IS truth. The way, the Truth, the Life, according to scripture. So if you want to find truth, sure you can read as many articles as you can. You can peruse the internet. You can ask a lot of questions. For me, the best question I can ever ask is to the Truth himself. Jesus what do you say?” Not “what would Jesus do?” But, rather “Jesus, what are you doing?” The first question is that of a dead religion. The second is to a living, breathing savior. Who longs to reveal himself.
Because this Truth, this Jesus? He’s worth trusting. He is worth finding.
He brings with himself more understanding. Even if you don’t get a clear answer right away, or maybe even ever, you can’t ever go wrong asking and trusting Him. Who IS truth. Even of what we don’t yet understand. Getting closer to Him will always always always be worth it.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.