You begin motherhood with the grandest of intentions. Or maybe that was just me.
You won’t just be an okay mom. You’ll be a really exceptional one. Extraordinary maybe. And you could show others that they can be extraordinary too.
You’re going to stay fit and healthy during your pregnancy. Your birth will be ethereal. Your love will grow a forest of meaning and beauty around your loved ones.
As they grow, you’ll be creative and fun, organized and calm. You won’t have a mess of crumbs on the floor of your minivan. In fact you probably won’t even have a minivan. You’ll maintain your enthusiasm, have a happy family, a beautiful home. You’ll be relevant and chic still. Your kids will eat their vegetables happily, and be beacons of kindness.
Then something happens. Maybe it’s the second kid. Or you can’t loose the extra 15 pounds, or your husband falls out of love with you. Maybe it’s a bad diagnosis for a loved one, or a medical struggle yourself. Maybe it’s the Cheerios ground into the minivan floor. Or the endless laundry and kitchen counter wiping. Whatever it is, it happens, eventually.
To all of us. (Even if no one else sees.)
Your feet touch down to this reality at some point. It is part of being human.
You look around and realize that you are just like all of the other moms. You are no better and no worse. In one way or another, you’re just like everyone else.
You’re not head and shoulders above. In fact sometimes it feels like you’re just barely head above water.
You probably feel defeated and scatterbrained more than you’d like to admit. Overwhelmed in the minutiae. Underwhelmed in the whole. Worst of all, you realize that you aren’t quite living up to your own expectations. And you can’t shake the disappointment.
You feel as deflated as the birthday balloon a week later or the loose skin on your belly after your last baby’s exodus. You’re not any better than anyone else at this. In fact, sometimes, someways, you feel that you’re worse.
But then as you look around you, something interesting happens. Transformational, even.
The more you look around, the more that you can see that yes, you are no different than the other moms in many ways, ones before you, the ones around you. Century after century of mothers. You are one in a line of many. And you are in extraordinary company. You are divine super heroes, all of you. One way or another, in rotation, on repeat.
You look at them and you see now a reflection back to yourself.
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The scars that are there? You see the story of strength that emerged. The sag of the shoulders? You see how the weight of the world was carried there sometimes. Many times. And yet she carried on. The hair -done or undone, messy bun or smooth. A crown of glory, regardless. The soft skin around the middle? She gave her body, her life as she knew it, her love, and sometimes it seems the very essence of her beauty, just to hold space for another human being. In womb or in arms, both.
You see, in these broken, chipped, poured out vessels, that these women have carried, and still carry, bring to bear the weight of a new world. Every day. A thousand times.
And you realize. No, you are no different. Nor do you need to be. You are in the company of greatness.
These Vessels that are made of dust, they carry gold.
For a very long time I’ve had a hypothesis about the verse “God gives you the desires of your heart.” Though I had heard it used many times as a way of reassuring a loved one ( You want a baby, a new job, a trip to Mexico’s? Well, course God wants bless you that way! Trust God!”) Though we should trust God and actively talk these things over with him (because no one cares to hear about it as much as he does), I think it actually a gross misunderstanding to interpret things this way. A well meaning interpretation, but a rather childlike one.
What I think it really means is much less centered around what God will do for me, and more grounded in what we will do, and do most extraordinarily, for God.
The things you love and want to participate in? There’s not meant to be handed to you any more than any parents is meant to hand things directly to their child when they haven’t earned it.
It is rather, that your destiny is both intrinsically tied to what you desire and will ultimately be expressed through your participation.
It is not about gifts from God; it’s about using your gifts for God.
The things that get you excited, engaged, and passionate? Those are the places you need to lean into.
It doesn’t mean waiting around for a package delivery from Fedex, UPS, or Heaven itself that will give you what you’ve always wanted. It means you that you’re meant to spend time pursuing those things, expressing your God-given talents, and sharing what comes from them as you follow that pursuit. It’s a present that is unfolding in your life all around you.
It means an active participation in the areas that excite you, that then enables those dreams to be realized in your lifetime.
It’s not never, it’s not yesterday or even right now. It’s always. It is work in progress. If you are alive, it is still both possible and important. Wherever we find ourselves on the life trajectory, it’s not too late to pause the unintended or unplanned orbit, and lean into the places and causes that make our heart skip a beat or two.
That’s the sweet spot. The sweet spot for which we were created. Don’t downplay it. Don’t compare. This is not a multiple choice or a paint by number. This is uniquely you.
There is neither sacred or secular, either. Foster care and painting, politics and pastoring, dog training and human teaching. They all have a place, alike, and not one is more important or meaningful than another. If it’s in you, it’s needed. God literally gave you the desires of your heart. It takes all kinds, all calling, to bring about the immense purpose of God in the world. Your piece in that puzzle matters. Our dreams are not by accident. They are placed in our hearts, directly related to where and why we need to spend out time, love, and resources.
Tell me, what are you bravely going to pursue, knowing that God has already given you those desires. Not because he’s waiting to gift you with them in reality, but because he’s waiting to see what you will do to make them happen.
So there’s no shortage of pontificating going on in the the web-iverse these days (I think I just made up that word, but we’ll go with it.) I myself wrestle almost daily with when to speak and when to be silent. Measured words are wisdom. But isn’t silence golden, after all?
That depends on what you’re talking about. Shutting out noise is good. Shutting out lies, even better.
But tell me, when is Truth silent?
Truth be told, it never is. It is always speaking, and sometimes, it uses words. It speaks to the hearts of men. It speaks in nature and in whispers. It speaks in books and music and art. It speaks in many ways, everywhere.
Sometimes Truth speaks through your life. Sometimes it needs your words, too. So use them today, and every day, well.
It makes me think of one of my favorite children’s books, Frederick. Frederick is a tiny mouse who, with his family, is supposed to be preparing for winter. While they are collecting seeds, nuts, and hay, he appears to be daydreaming. When winter finds them all shivering, alone, and wanting together, they turn to Frederick. He had been busy collecting sunshine and warmth, words to bring them love and courage when they needed it most.
What have you been collecting? Maybe it’s time to share that warmth and that light with the world. Especially if it’s anchored in love and tethered with grace.
Always listen for truth. Live it at all times, and speak it when necessary.
You are responsible for what you say and what you do. You are also responsible for what you don’t. Make sure your words and silence are both meaningful and important, motivated by love. Then, don’t be stingy. The world needs the warmth you’ve been collecting.
And if you’re worried about getting it wrong, don’t be. If what you thought to be true doesn’t stand up in the light of day, real Truth never condemns. It always sets you free. That’s part of the whole process.
May we ever be ever-guided by Truth and Love together. Go love the world like you’re supposed to today, and always. It gets a bit dark when you’re not fully you.
Have you ever looked at the garbage in your life and felt sadness? Even deep sadness? Whether it’s the real, broken things at the curb, or the broken things in your heart that nobody sees, the pain is very real. Yeah, me, too. Which is why I was blown away by what happened to me this morning.
We all have trash and broken things.
As I rounded the corner to finish my morning walk, I saw the garbage there. A pile of extra trash was left to the curb from our most recent garage clean. There I saw the thing that made me saddest- the kids’ blow up shark pool laying in a heap. I wanted to cry. Not because it had to go. That I knew. A slow leak in one of the sides had slowly turned to a giant one. It could be propped up on one side by a chair for a while, but to decreasing success. The kids were still enamored with it regardless, but even they knew it has seen its better days. So I wasn’t sad so much that it had to go.
I was sad that because I remembered the last time we were in it. (Yes, I was, too. ) I was excited to “enjoy the moment”, as I knew it might be “the last”. But I was shot, over- touched or over- stimulated. I was not amused by the freezing cold squirts and splashes of water that css as me my way, even when I asked for them not to. I tried so hard to have fun. I tried to let go and be as silly as possible. But I just couldn’t seem to. My brain was muddled, my heart made feeble attempts but was otherwise overloaded. And as hard as I tried I couldn’t shake it, and I felt terrible about that.
I’m not sure my kids could tell or not, but internal dialogue was thick with self disappointment. “Can’t you just squeal with joy? Can’t you just not care about it being cold or feeling uncomfortable? Cant you just get over your goosebumps, get over yourself??” I felt so defeated. So human. So “mom”. So tired, maybe. So pandemic/2020 spent maybe. Giving it my best shot but falling flat.
Now, at the memory of it, I felt as deflated as the shark pool now sat by the curb. Like a failure of my own doing, lying there wrapped up in the trash at the curb.
Do you have any of those kind of memories? The “last ones“, the dropped passes, the “undone” things. The broken times and things that you can’t go back and fix??
Doesn’t everyone?
Then wait until what happened next. I kid you not, I remembered what I had seen at the beginning of my run. In the dark, propped up against a garbage can was a two and a half foot statue of Jesus. I couldn’t believe how unjust it felt seeing it there by the side if the road. Tossed out, set aside, left for garbage. I don’t love statues myself, but it just seemed wrong. I got really close to it and looked the statue Jesus in the eye. I considered if I should retrieve it? Save it?
“Don’t move it.” I heard inside my heart. The words were almost stern. The whole thing kind of made me uncomfortable, honestly. Do I left it there. I continued on with my run and I didn’t look back, except at the leaves that noisily followed me down the road. It’s okay, I told myself. Told the alive and real Jesus. “You’re still king of the universe.” He was unconcerned that the statue had been put by the curb.
I had put the thought of it out of my mind until I was there writing through my shark pool emotions. And then when I put two and two together – my trash and Jesus- I was overcome with emotion. I literally bawled.
He didn’t mind being in the trash today because he’s already been there, already IS there. He is in the trash, with my disappointments and my failures, with what I’ve broken or what life has broken for me. He’s right there. And He’s redeeming ALL THINGs.
Then I realized as I closed my eyes, that he wasn’t leaning against the garbage can. He was in front of the recycling. I laughed to myself. Of course! He is the ultimate “up-cycler”. He takes our broken things and he makes something better. He does not “fix“ everything here, in our homes, right now, they way we might like. But he redeems everything. It’s in his very nature. He makes all things NEW.
I won’t ever see that shark pool again. I won’t ever get those moments back to do them better. Those moments weren’t lost, and inspite of my limitations, I trust that something bigger and better than myself is working through my ordinary days. I don’t need to be perfect to have a perfect grace cover my days.
Same goes for your mistakes, your broken things, and your losses. They are being used to make something better going forward.
How do I know? I’ve had my share of brokenness, too. Child of divorce, loss, a miscarriage, all have touched my life, to name a few. God knows how to redeem all of it. I’ve seen him do it, and he still is doing it. That’s how God works. He takes our trash and He uses it to create a legacy of hope and eternal redemption. Your brokenness is not the end of the story. It’s just a beginning. Let God be there with it. And let him do something with it. He’s not afraid or bothered by any of it, and you shouldn’t be either.
You might even call him Jesus: “The Patron Saint of our brokenness.” ❤️
It’s Election Day and this year especially, EVERY person, company, actor, musician, grandma, grandpa, and dog is telling you to get out and vote. And they’re right!! I’ve voted in every election since I earned the privilege at age 18. (Even the little ones that no one cares about, local races with less fanfare or impressiveness.) That’s a lot of votes. So I’m kind of surprised that sooo many people don’t vote every year, or even every four years. Then again, I guess I’m not.
Because, truthfully, every day you can vote for the life that you want, and every day these votes are thrown away carelessly.
Friends, please don’t just vote every four years.
Vote well, every day. What do I mean, exactly? Cast ballots for the life that you want to see for yourself, for your family, your community, your nation, and your world. You vote with your actions, your words, your gestures. You vote with your prayers and your complaining, your kindness and your selfishness. Your criticisms or your encouragement. Your blaming or your graciousness. In conversations and with your creations.
Too often we overlook these ballots. We downgrade their importance. We abdicate the throne of power. Cast wise ballots that are not merely judgements towards another, but ballots of change that can happen through you.
You are infinitely, incredibly capable of creating lasting, beautiful change, exactly where you are.
However much a president or politician can create policies that we might fear will harm or help us, the truth is, no one needs to help you fulfill your purpose of greatness except you.
Vote every day for the world that you want to live in.
See injustice? Try casting a ballot for reconciliation, not shame, by speak words of healing. See rudeness? Smother it with kindness, like a wet blanket putting out a fire. See lack or need? Don’t just talk about what should be done or who should help— step up and do it yourself, however you’re able.
So even if today is a big day (and whenever we get end up getting the results will be too), know that EVER DAY is a big day. Whether your “guy” wins or looses, that doesn’t have to determine if YOU do.
How are you casting your votes, EVERY DAY?
Offer your own life to do the good which you seek. No change starts too small. Because when we say small we often mean one person to one person. That’s where any real change happens, anyway. Person to person, heart to heart. So no, no “vote” or act is too small.
You have incredible influence, right where you are tonight, and tomorrow, and the next day. On repeat. You are capable of creating the world that you want to live in. Don’t waste your ballots.
Do NOT concede defeat or abdicate the responsibility that you have to any policy or politician. 🌟Don’t surrender the power that you have; use it for good.🌟
Imagine if the millions and millions of voters all took THOSE votes more seriously. Every day, on repeat. Maybe we wouldn’t need to make such a big deal about these elections if we all did our part more thoughtfully, if we all used our talents relentlessly well, for the good of each other and our neighbors.
So yes, vote. But then vote again on repeat. Vote for love and life and freedom and joy. Go out and BE the change, BE the love. SPEAK, SHARE and bring JOY to the life and the people around you. That is the change that sticks. God has given you a voice, a vote. Use it every day. Vote for God’s kind of change. Vote for His Love and Truth. Vote for Brighter days. They are ahead if you let them be.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.