I saw a tree, covered in an unexpected snow, while still blooming. I thought, ‘Will this beauty withstand the cold, the snow, the weight of the unexpected?’
The answer came to my soul, and yours, too.
“Yes, Beauty, you will.”
You are growing beautifully. You look back and see beauty past. You look forward and see potential beauty. I look at you now and see beauty, all of it, at once. Seed to sapling, flower to leaf. One day at a time, unfolding.
You are not judged by yesterday‘s mistakes nor today storms. I see you where you are trying to love, to stretch your limbs, to stand strong and bloom both delicately and fiercely. You are love just as you are today.
You look around and wonder if there was something more beautiful about your youth. About your younger limbs and your smaller frame. Some thing less pretentious or delicate, more hopeful, more beautiful. Tell me does someone look at the aging tree and judge it for its reach? For the strength of its neck, the width of its trunk? Do you regret the beauty of its blooms or what has it has become? Never, not once.
Look at how you have grown, look at the shade you now give, how much more. Look at your blooms. More than yesterday. More to come.
But today, beautiful still. Notwithstanding the cold or the snow or any other tree growing around you or how you thought you might grow. I see something beautiful, just as you look at this tree. She is not less than she was. She is not yet what she may be. But today she is beautiful. Beautiful.
Sometimes a run just feels different. Yesterday the load felt lighter because it was. Having dropped off the dog and set back out on a run, the pace was faster and somehow felt easier. A few glances down at my watch and I saw numbers I hadn’t gotten to see in some time. It was so simple. I was running free.
I start every run with the dog, and most often I don’t circle back home to drop him off. It just seems easier. But whether I realize it or not, it truly slows me down.
Truthfully, it felt like a good excuse for my slowness. I take comfort in having the dog there because it justifies my pace, the era of sluggishness I feel kind of stuck in. I don’t seem to have the same pep in my step that I used to, but I don’t mind that much. I’m mostly just grateful to get out there and keep going. After all, yesterday’s pace doesn’t define today’s success.
But.
The funny thing is, a run like yesterday made me realize how much I might actually hold myself back. I choose to have the tether, the leash, in my hand. I choose to think I should be going slower too. But I’m actually choosing to hold myself back.
It’s a funny thing when you run. Or when you do anything, really. You might feel propelled forward to success and speed, mile markers. It might be your own competitiveness which fuels your fire, or sometimes the thought of other people’s. There are times you can turn it off completely and just “get it done”. These are seasons and sections of fitness and life that are all perfectly good and normal. You don’t always have to go hard and fast. There’s time for recovery and rebuilding.
But sometimes your might be ready for a new season. But perhaps your mind is still stuck, and you’re spinning your wheels in the old one.
We tend to hold on to ideas about things. About how things should go. Like how we should parent, or manage our responsibilities, or spend our time. For me, walking the dog is a daily activity, and a good one. But I don’t need to be always do it in exactly the same way that I have been. I can still care for him and then carve out some time for myself. There’s something else attainable for me now if I would just try.
Is there something else that you might ready for you to go after, too? Is there a book you should be writing, a new eating plan for better health, a fitness routine you’re thinking of trying?
Maybe now is a season for you to go faster and further. Let go of the ideas of what “should be” that are holding you back, what you think you need to carry. You don’t need to get rid of your responsibilities. I’m not giving away my dog. I ’m just realizing I might be able to do something a little differently. You might be too. A small change might make a big difference!
“The universe is Abundant. You are Enough. Your opportunities are Limitless.” These words are thrown around a lot in the world right now. Unless you’re talking to follower of Christ about what they “should” do. We seem to prefer to build a lot of boxes for Christians. Surprisingly most for other followers in Christ. While the world shouts, “You can be and do anything, go anywhere!” The church likes to whisper to one another “But not that. Not you.”
“Be like Jesus. He didn’t become a king. He died on the cross. That’s what our lives hours look like. Humble sacrifice.”
Yes, your life should be marked by his His love and sacrifice, by the character of Jesus. But Jesus is not a two-dimensional character that can be nailed to any cross, last or present. He gave His life and He rose again. This is the entire crux of our faith. If he stayed on the cross, it would be a dead religion. His kingdom wouldn’t have come.
Yes, our redemption was found on the cross. But that’s not where it ended. To point to Jesus on the cross and say “do only THAT”, frankly, is wrong. He already did it. That cross is taken, its work completed. Our redemption was signed, sealed, and delivered. Mostly, because He didn’t stay there.
Though there are many that would like to keep Him (and you) there.
If we attempt to keep one another nailed to the cross of Christ, so will ours be a dead religion. He cannot be nailed to our understanding. He is a very real, very alive and extremely loving King. A risen Lord full of power and love and redeeming compassion. The crux of the Easter story is not that he stayed there, but that He conquered death, hell and the grave. He rose again. And He is still bringing out His work in earth. Believe me that image of him on the cross is where I fell in love with the Lord and that is sacred and holy. It is life-giving. But we must not let our theology keep him there for us.
Christ himself said “It is finished”. Finished. He didn’t tell us to pick up His cross and keep going.
What he told us was instead, this: “Take up your cross and follow me. “
Jesus didn’t tell us to take up His cross and die on the same hill he did. Or to die on any old hill, one we might pick. He told us to take up OUR cross and FOLLOW him.
What cross, then? Whichever one he tells you. On any single day, and best case scenario, every day. Remember, obedience is better than sacrifice. If we are ever to die on a hill, it should be one of His choosing, not ours. And most certainly NOT our neighbors.
If I choose the cross, form it based on what I see, form it to shape my own understanding, to look like anyone else’s- Jesus’, or Peter’s or John’s, or Mary’s, I am practicing sacrifice but perhaps not obedience. Maybe even idolatry if I am choosing for myself. Or anyone else. If I crucifying another person by and to my own understanding of the gospel, I am doing the same.
I am not in charge of my neighbor. Following Christ is the ultimate freedom, and we’ve been putting one another in the chains of our own understanding for a thousand years, twice over. Free in Christ means more than we are willing to admit, and more than we are often ever comfortable with. For ourselves and for others.
Taking up the cross might look for one like entering a political arena. Or staying out. It might mean going to work, or staying home. Stage or pulpit, classroom or coffee shop. YOU don’t get to say. That’s the entire point. You certainly don’t get to decide for anyone else.
I hear a lot theories around what Christians should and shouldn’t do right now. What’s in the Bible, what literally “fits” or doesn’t fit inside of it and the theology that surrounds it.
“Jesus wasn’t a king.” “Be happy with what you have.” “Sit down and be quiet”. “You can’t do that.” “You don’t belong”. “Settle for less.”
These can be the whispers of deception. Just as Jesus was tempted in the wilderness. There’s maybe a portion of truth. But not the whole truth. Not the truth that God is already speaking. To you.
Doubt comes rushing in. Taking the truth and twisting it ever so slightly. Just like the whispers in the garden. “Has God said?” We echo it for one another in the church more often that we must or ever should. It must make God so sad.
And it’s everywhere we turn right now. Even in the church.
We can identify it for someone else sometimes but maybe when it’s spoken for us though.
Stop listening to other voices. Stop listening for other people. Start listening for yourself. What is God saying to you, today? Where is he telling you to go? What cross is he asking you to take up? Do not think it has to look like anyone else’s. Not even the one Jesus carried. He did it for you, so you could walk in the fullness of whatever it is that HE has planned. Already. Before anyone else was alive and had the words to speak about it.
Get back to THAT cross. It will mean dying to something. Usually your selfishness. And that pride that would try to talk you out of it. The need for others to justify it, whatever it is.
Jesus was crucified in part because he had become too powerful. He didn’t come to be a King the way anyone else ever intended. But He came to be the King of your heart if you let Him.
Don’t sit down. Don’t shut up. He’s waiting for you not to ever even care what someone else should think. Trust Him more than anyone else’s opinion. Because HE is trustworthy. He is kind and gracious and he never is concerned with what anyone else’s plans are for your life or whether they’ll make any sense to anyone else.
Perhaps if we stop crucifying each other so much and we get something wrong or make a mistake, we will all be able to fly a lot more, even when we fail. We might stop snipping one another’s wings and really soar into our destiny. What would that look like? Freedom. Which is, after all, the work of Christ on that amazing cross.
The message popped up on my screen last Friday, “Hey, friend, I can’t wait to hear what you have to say!” There was a link attached. A current senior from our bible college was reaching out on an alumni Facebook group. They were looking for advice as they prepare to graduate, and decided to ask those who have gone before. My heart leapt inside of me, and I knew immediately what I would say.
“Always listen for the still small voice.”
My fingers were itching to type it, and more, truth be told. But as much as I wanted to chime in, I couldn’t. You see, I had just started, that very morning, a week long break from Facebook. All because I had, well, listened to that still, small voice.
The irony was not lost on me.
See, I love good conversation and I love to discuss important issues, like faith, freedom, love, family, to name a few. I love discourse and discovery that happens in the conversation, of others and myself. But sometimes I love it too much. And it’s good to step away and listen a bit more to the people and the life that are all around you. And of course, that still small voice.
Now almost a week later, my fingers have been itching to type the answer ever since. I’m not itching to return to FB and am really enjoying the space. That thread is probably long buried, too. But I realize that the beating words in my heart aren’t going away, do this is as good a place as any. So here goes!
**Let me say first, though this applies directly to someone preparing to graduate bible college, it doesn’t just apply to them. I think it applies to almost anyone who a) is transitioning into a new phase of life, b) has a heart to love God and/or other people, or c)wants to walk in their best life, their fullest potential. If that sounds like you at all, keep reading…
One: Always always listen for the still, small voice. God is always speaking, but His voice is most often quiet and gentle. Being a true gentleman, and not the controlling bully that too many picture Him to be, God doesn’t often shout. (Though He sometimes will if necessary!)
It starts most often in your heart, as a stirring or a feeling. Sometimes it even makes absolutely no sense to your mind. But you can’t deny how much it makes sense to your heart. If you’re wise you’ll listen. Even when it might not make sense on paper, there’s something in your spirit that agrees with it. It is also easy to connect with because it demonstrates His character. While his voice is not always big and bold in volume, it is always big and bold in love. Which is why you must keep your heart open to it.
When I was preparing to leave bible college, I had some really really good offers on the table. One was even the kind that got attention of the Dean of Students. Men actually. He was the sharp and serious kind. Though his words that I’d be “perfect for the job” meant so much, the job still just didn’t feel right. None of the options did. So I went home, worked in a coffee shop, and waited.
Two: About “ministry”: It’s all ministry. Your life is the ministry.
This might sound wacky talking to a group of bible college students or graduates, but the truth is, you’re not really called to a church, or to any other particular mission field. You are called first, to the Lord .
You’re called to know Him. Out of knowing Him, you will go to any number of places- all over the world, or around the corner- and share that Love that you know first from Him. You won’t be able to not minister His love. It will flow out naturally.
Helping should always remain secondary. Religion led by a desire to help or bless others, instead of led by your desire for the Lord, can quickly go awry, and even end up doing more harm than good. If it’s not connected to your first Love, it will quickly be in danger of becoming people pleasing of the most egregious kind- in the name of the Lord, but not in His Spirit.
Yes, some of you will be then called to serve in churches. Or neighborhoods. Or any number of places, secular or sacred. Since the Lord lives in you, and is with you everywhere you go, there is no longer a sacred and a secular. It is, all of it, sacred. Whether you’re painting a wall or holding a little person’s hand or giving someone a ride or sharing a message of hope or laughter, all of it is sacred. More ministry happens in everyday life than we often realize. (Look for it.)
Those great opportunities that I turned down? Led me to become a nanny and assistant for some really wonderful kids and families. If you know anything in life, you know that helping to care for another persons basic needs and wellbeing is, in fact, ministry.
Three: You can’t mess it up merely as much as you think.
There is one thing I’ve seen over time, and it’s that there is not one single path that you have to figure out and choose. Sometimes there are definite junction points upon which bing changes can hinge. But it is not something you can get either completely wrong or right based on your feeble choices.
It’s not even a choose-your-own-adventure. While it does feel like it, and holds a similar web of possible pitfalls, roads and opportunities alike, there is one guiding truth that sets it apart, one thing that matters more than your feeble efforts: God is more willing than you are to see your calling fulfilled.
As you look ahead, as much as you don’t know, you can know this: There will be so much grace. We easily forget just how gracious and loving our God really is. He will find more opportunities for you to walk in your destiny or calling than any number of pitfalls that you might stumble upon. Even if you placed them there yourself.
If you make a mistake, on purpose or by accident, know that He sees and knows your heart more than anyone, and He is more gracious than we often understand. He is not controlling, and He allows you to choose your direction, but if you do happen get a little lost at any point, He’ll help set your feet on a good path whenever you ask.
There probably a hundred ways to get where you need to go. Take some pressure off of yourself. Trust Him.
One last note, an addendum: Expect to be surprised. It’s often how God works. Even when we know Him, there’s still so much that we don’t yet know. He’s bigger than we can fathom, more gracious than we give Him credit for.
When your surprised one way or another, refer back to number 1 (Listen). And also, 2 (Love). Keep in mind 3 (Trust.) It is often not as complicated as we make it, but there is plenty to learn. Enjoy the discovery, and surprises.
I’m right there with you. My own surprises are unfolding now too. Twenty years after leaving bible college, it’s just getting started in some ways. Dormant dreams, stirred callings, and greater Love. We’re all still on a journey if we’re still breathing. I think there’s something in the air.
Love is absolutely a real live, action word, a verb. Sometimes though, especially around a day like Valentine’s Day, it can feel like there’s one giant scorecard keeping track of everything that love does. It’s pretty easy to start measuring Love just by what we hear it say and see it do. Amongst a generation of overachievers and oversharers though, perhaps it’s better not to. Because sometimes love is as much about what it doesn’t do, as what it ever does.
It might be harder to find this evidence, because, well, it’s not screaming from the rooftops, holding armfuls of flowers, or preparing beautiful meals and posting them online. I mean sometimes it really is some of those things. But sometimes it much less picture worthy.
Besides, what does patient, or kind, or “rejoicing in the truth” actually look like?
Sometimes it looks like cold jello on a plate, and letting someone take a nice long nap. It might not look like much, but if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of it before, you know that it, in fact, is.
If you look around with eyes that love, you find lots of evidence of the kind. It happens every day, all around this globe. Yet we still look for the roses. These acts of love, they are the roses. It’s these small moments, where understanding hearts show love personified, that are most beautiful.
Love is the words that are unsaid, the bitter ones that get swallowed back.
The judgment it withholds.
Love is the thoughts that it doesn’t entertain.
The pity party it doesn’t throw.
The resentment it throws off its back each time it tries to crawl on.
It’s the hugs it doesn’t give. The space it holds for discovery, and forgiveness.
The silence it allows. The words it turns instead, only to prayers.
These things are love too.
Valentines Day love may be unabashed and extravagant, more dressed up and lovely. There is a blessed space for that. But so often, love might be found in the dirt, in the trenches of life, mucking its way through things. It’s the purest kind of love that is found there, and also the strongest.
Love with its work-boots on.
This generous and selfless Love crawls quietly into trenches alongside you when necessary, and stays out if you need that, too. It does what’s right for someone else, even if a different path might look more admirable, or more lovely. Flowers might be nice, but they aren’t always what’s needed.
This Love can be misinterpreted.
But it doesn’t care what it looks like to anyone else. This love breaks the molds of what it’s ‘supposed’ to look like. It accepts what already is. It does what is needed, not what it wants. It requires no fanfare, no applause.
It serves fish when it wanted steak. It stays in when it wants to go out, or goes out when it would rather stay in. It holds a tongue and practices a breath of patience. (Even when it comes up a bit short, it tries.) It sees the child dressed in their own wild style, and allows for it, because it hurts no one and compromising nothing, except one’s own parental sensibilities.
It’s how we are even loved by our Savior. He shows us how to do it, giving, on a cross while many despise the thought. He doesn’t overwhelm us with His many (wonderful!) thoughts. He doesn’t over-talk (a lifelong quest for me to learn!) He gently waits for us to reject or embrace him. His love is immeasurable but he doesn’t force itself, or fill the room with flowers, or belt out the song by your window until you’re ready.
His love is self sacrificing, withholding at times, of both what he wants, and also what we deserve. He offers gracious, unimaginable Loving-kindness instead.
Most of us can’t even manage self love with everything we know about ourselves, but His Love puts on the work boots anyway, doesn’t strong-arm us, gets alongside us if we want him to, and somehow, helps us make something beautiful out of things eventually.
So how does this relate to your life, your relationships? When you know that this is how you’re loved, you can love like this.
This Love plays the long game. Gives the jello. Waits it out. Loves from an arms length. And absolutely embraces when someone is ready.
The next time you feel the space, know that it’s okay. Remember that you can love well, even from a distance. It’s the kindest things sometimes. And that distance can be covered in a instant.
It is an act of love to love someone the way that they need to be loved. In action, or inaction, with words or in silence. From close or afar.
Love isn’t diminished by any of it, but in fact, it grows there. It lives in these spaces more than we know. Love is about what it does, and also, precisely about what it doesn’t do sometimes. Fill up those trenches with loving- nothings. Sometimes it’s the best thing that you never do.
Welp, anyone’s thoughts that turning the calendar to a new year might magically help things was….hopeful, but wrong. The days still bringing uncertainty and require us to navigate a host of emotions. There are many coping mechanisms, but one I wanted to remind you is particularly useful. Music is the language of the soul, that can help from therapy to mood enhancement. Music has the ability to connect you to your emotions, which can help you process things. A sad break up, a sunny day, a bit of melancholy can all find mirrored expression in song.
However, sometimes you don’t want to stay where you are. You don’t want to keep experiencing what it is that you’re already feeling. You need to move on from that space. That is when music can become a very useful tool
Sometime in life you look around and realize that YOU are the leader, the one in charge, even if that just of a party of one: yourself. It’s then that you realize emotions- though valuable and important, meant to connect us with human and spiritual experience- were never meant to be the Guide, the Boss, or the Captain. Emotions are fickle, easily swayed, and often swelled. They make a terrible front man.
There’s a quote from the U.S. Navy SEAL Creed that feels so appropriate.
“I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men, uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.We expect to lead and to be led. In the absence of orders, I will take charge, lead my teammates, and accomplish the mission“.
We can’t lead with emotions. So what can we lead with? How about leading with what the world needs most right now? How about we lead with Love.
Love is not just an emotion. Love is a state of being, a character, and a truth. Love is many things, but it is never pushy, controlling, or thoughtless. Love is selfless, patient, forgiving, and kind. Love is a force to be reckoned with. Love sometimes requires great bravery, because hatred wages a war against it. But Love shows up anyway, creating the necessary. And Love never fails.
It’s time we let Love really lead us. For that to happen, though, I don’t know about you, but I can’t find enough in myself. Not the emotion love nor the bravery to act on it. It’s not hidden with the change and the crumbs at the bottom of my handbag. It’s not tucked into a coat pocket and forgotten like a dollar bill. It’s not in the pantry or available from prime delivery.
I have some measure of love, from what I’ve received. But what happens when I get to the end of it? When my fuse is short or my well is dry? When I want to give more but can’t seem to do it. When all I want to do is hide?
Real deep Love is not from me, it’s not by me. But it is everywhere, and it’s abundant. It comes from God alone and it’s perfect. All I ever have to do is position myself underneath the flow of its incredible grace.
I don’t have to create the love or courage that I need for these trying days. I need to only lead myself, lead my emotions and my overworking brain, to a place where I can receive it. I need only to position myself beneath the waterfall, beside those still waters.
Then what splashes out of me when I’m bumped, spills over when I’m full, or pours from of me when I’m broken will be something that’s beyond me.
The only way for that to happen is to let the good stuff in. How the heck do you do it? With prayer. With reading good stuff. And for me, so often, with music.
Music has been an incredibly beautiful piece of the picture for me. Every day, at various times throughout the day, I turn on songs that literally seem to fill my soul. They not only encourage me, they remind me of that great Love God has for me, and the great love he has for the world. You don’t have to listen to what I listen to. But you can be mindful of what you are feeding your soul.
While the world has been crazy about healthy, organic, Non-GMO, vitamins, supplements, and superfoods, they have neglected to think enough of what we are feeding our souls.
Needing courage? Then put in courage. Needing peace? Plant peaceful songs or instruments. Need more love? How can any of it still out of you if it hasn’t been put in? Listen to songs that fill you with the deep waters of the Love that there is for you , especially from the divine source . For how can anything good pour out of us unless it’s put in there? Life is constantly bumping against us, things are always spilling out. So it’s time we take responsibility as grownups, and feed ourselves the way we should. With what both we and the world need.
You don’t have to listen all day or even any day. Start with a song that makes you feel more of the love that your soul needs. Stop feeling thirsty, and give yourself what you need. See if you feel any differently after listening, go from there. There’s no right way to do this. There’s just finding a better one each day.
I decided to put together a playlist to share of some of my favorites. It’s on Spotify, which seems like the easiest way, and you can access it here>>>>playlist.
In case you’re not on Spotify (which is super easy and free in case you’re wondering), I wrote down the playlist. You can search for theses songs on whatever platform, video service, or music streaming service you prefer!
1- The Voice of God – Dante Bowe**
2-The Story I’ll Tell- Maverick City Music
3- The Blessing (Live)- Kari Jobe
4- You Hold It All Together – Maverick City Music
5- Awake My Soul- Hillsong Worship
6- Protector (Live)- Kim Walker Smith
7- Pieces (spontaneous) -Bethel Music **
8- Sing My Way Back- Steffany Gretzinger
9-No Fear In Love – Steffany Gretzinger
10- Reckless Love (Spontaneous)- Bethel Music
11-House on a Hill- Amanda Lindsay Cooke **
12-Sails (Live)- Pat Barrett
13-Always Good (Live)- Hannah McClure
14-It Is Well – Kristene Dimarco
If this is a new concept for you, and you’re feeling unsure about it, I get it. I starred a few songs that are really beautiful starting points. Even if you never listen to any one of theses songs, I hope that this has made you think about what kind of steps that you can take to ensure a little more peace and love in your days. I know, everyone could use more of both right now. Xoxo
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love. 