Love is absolutely a real live, action word, a verb. Sometimes though, especially around a day like Valentine’s Day, it can feel like there’s one giant scorecard keeping track of everything that love does. It’s pretty easy to start measuring Love just by what we hear it say and see it do. Amongst a generation of overachievers and oversharers though, perhaps it’s better not to. Because sometimes love is as much about what it doesn’t do, as what it ever does.
It might be harder to find this evidence, because, well, it’s not screaming from the rooftops, holding armfuls of flowers, or preparing beautiful meals and posting them online. I mean sometimes it really is some of those things. But sometimes it much less picture worthy.
Besides, what does patient, or kind, or “rejoicing in the truth” actually look like?
Sometimes it looks like cold jello on a plate, and letting someone take a nice long nap. It might not look like much, but if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of it before, you know that it, in fact, is.
If you look around with eyes that love, you find lots of evidence of the kind. It happens every day, all around this globe. Yet we still look for the roses. These acts of love, they are the roses. It’s these small moments, where understanding hearts show love personified, that are most beautiful.
Love is the words that are unsaid, the bitter ones that get swallowed back.
The judgment it withholds.
Love is the thoughts that it doesn’t entertain.
The pity party it doesn’t throw.
The resentment it throws off its back each time it tries to crawl on.
It’s the hugs it doesn’t give. The space it holds for discovery, and forgiveness.
The silence it allows. The words it turns instead, only to prayers.
These things are love too.
Valentines Day love may be unabashed and extravagant, more dressed up and lovely. There is a blessed space for that. But so often, love might be found in the dirt, in the trenches of life, mucking its way through things. It’s the purest kind of love that is found there, and also the strongest.
Love with its work-boots on.
This generous and selfless Love crawls quietly into trenches alongside you when necessary, and stays out if you need that, too. It does what’s right for someone else, even if a different path might look more admirable, or more lovely. Flowers might be nice, but they aren’t always what’s needed.
This Love can be misinterpreted.
But it doesn’t care what it looks like to anyone else. This love breaks the molds of what it’s ‘supposed’ to look like. It accepts what already is. It does what is needed, not what it wants. It requires no fanfare, no applause.
It serves fish when it wanted steak. It stays in when it wants to go out, or goes out when it would rather stay in. It holds a tongue and practices a breath of patience. (Even when it comes up a bit short, it tries.) It sees the child dressed in their own wild style, and allows for it, because it hurts no one and compromising nothing, except one’s own parental sensibilities.
It’s how we are even loved by our Savior. He shows us how to do it, giving, on a cross while many despise the thought. He doesn’t overwhelm us with His many (wonderful!) thoughts. He doesn’t over-talk (a lifelong quest for me to learn!) He gently waits for us to reject or embrace him. His love is immeasurable but he doesn’t force itself, or fill the room with flowers, or belt out the song by your window until you’re ready.
His love is self sacrificing, withholding at times, of both what he wants, and also what we deserve. He offers gracious, unimaginable Loving-kindness instead.
Most of us can’t even manage self love with everything we know about ourselves, but His Love puts on the work boots anyway, doesn’t strong-arm us, gets alongside us if we want him to, and somehow, helps us make something beautiful out of things eventually.
So how does this relate to your life, your relationships? When you know that this is how you’re loved, you can love like this.
This Love plays the long game. Gives the jello. Waits it out. Loves from an arms length. And absolutely embraces when someone is ready.
The next time you feel the space, know that it’s okay. Remember that you can love well, even from a distance. It’s the kindest things sometimes. And that distance can be covered in a instant.
It is an act of love to love someone the way that they need to be loved. In action, or inaction, with words or in silence. From close or afar.
Love isn’t diminished by any of it, but in fact, it grows there. It lives in these spaces more than we know. Love is about what it does, and also, precisely about what it doesn’t do sometimes. Fill up those trenches with loving- nothings. Sometimes it’s the best thing that you never do.
Welp, anyone’s thoughts that turning the calendar to a new year might magically help things was….hopeful, but wrong. The days still bringing uncertainty and require us to navigate a host of emotions. There are many coping mechanisms, but one I wanted to remind you is particularly useful. Music is the language of the soul, that can help from therapy to mood enhancement. Music has the ability to connect you to your emotions, which can help you process things. A sad break up, a sunny day, a bit of melancholy can all find mirrored expression in song.
However, sometimes you don’t want to stay where you are. You don’t want to keep experiencing what it is that you’re already feeling. You need to move on from that space. That is when music can become a very useful tool
Sometime in life you look around and realize that YOU are the leader, the one in charge, even if that just of a party of one: yourself. It’s then that you realize emotions- though valuable and important, meant to connect us with human and spiritual experience- were never meant to be the Guide, the Boss, or the Captain. Emotions are fickle, easily swayed, and often swelled. They make a terrible front man.
There’s a quote from the U.S. Navy SEAL Creed that feels so appropriate.
“I serve with honor on and off the battlefield. The ability to control my emotions and my actions, regardless of circumstance, sets me apart from other men, uncompromising integrity is my standard. My character and honor are steadfast. My word is my bond.We expect to lead and to be led. In the absence of orders, I will take charge, lead my teammates, and accomplish the mission“.
We can’t lead with emotions. So what can we lead with? How about leading with what the world needs most right now? How about we lead with Love.
Love is not just an emotion. Love is a state of being, a character, and a truth. Love is many things, but it is never pushy, controlling, or thoughtless. Love is selfless, patient, forgiving, and kind. Love is a force to be reckoned with. Love sometimes requires great bravery, because hatred wages a war against it. But Love shows up anyway, creating the necessary. And Love never fails.
It’s time we let Love really lead us. For that to happen, though, I don’t know about you, but I can’t find enough in myself. Not the emotion love nor the bravery to act on it. It’s not hidden with the change and the crumbs at the bottom of my handbag. It’s not tucked into a coat pocket and forgotten like a dollar bill. It’s not in the pantry or available from prime delivery.
I have some measure of love, from what I’ve received. But what happens when I get to the end of it? When my fuse is short or my well is dry? When I want to give more but can’t seem to do it. When all I want to do is hide?
Real deep Love is not from me, it’s not by me. But it is everywhere, and it’s abundant. It comes from God alone and it’s perfect. All I ever have to do is position myself underneath the flow of its incredible grace.
I don’t have to create the love or courage that I need for these trying days. I need to only lead myself, lead my emotions and my overworking brain, to a place where I can receive it. I need only to position myself beneath the waterfall, beside those still waters.
Then what splashes out of me when I’m bumped, spills over when I’m full, or pours from of me when I’m broken will be something that’s beyond me.
The only way for that to happen is to let the good stuff in. How the heck do you do it? With prayer. With reading good stuff. And for me, so often, with music.
Music has been an incredibly beautiful piece of the picture for me. Every day, at various times throughout the day, I turn on songs that literally seem to fill my soul. They not only encourage me, they remind me of that great Love God has for me, and the great love he has for the world. You don’t have to listen to what I listen to. But you can be mindful of what you are feeding your soul.
While the world has been crazy about healthy, organic, Non-GMO, vitamins, supplements, and superfoods, they have neglected to think enough of what we are feeding our souls.
Needing courage? Then put in courage. Needing peace? Plant peaceful songs or instruments. Need more love? How can any of it still out of you if it hasn’t been put in? Listen to songs that fill you with the deep waters of the Love that there is for you , especially from the divine source . For how can anything good pour out of us unless it’s put in there? Life is constantly bumping against us, things are always spilling out. So it’s time we take responsibility as grownups, and feed ourselves the way we should. With what both we and the world need.
You don’t have to listen all day or even any day. Start with a song that makes you feel more of the love that your soul needs. Stop feeling thirsty, and give yourself what you need. See if you feel any differently after listening, go from there. There’s no right way to do this. There’s just finding a better one each day.
I decided to put together a playlist to share of some of my favorites. It’s on Spotify, which seems like the easiest way, and you can access it here>>>>playlist.
In case you’re not on Spotify (which is super easy and free in case you’re wondering), I wrote down the playlist. You can search for theses songs on whatever platform, video service, or music streaming service you prefer!
1- The Voice of God – Dante Bowe**
2-The Story I’ll Tell- Maverick City Music
3- The Blessing (Live)- Kari Jobe
4- You Hold It All Together – Maverick City Music
5- Awake My Soul- Hillsong Worship
6- Protector (Live)- Kim Walker Smith
7- Pieces (spontaneous) -Bethel Music **
8- Sing My Way Back- Steffany Gretzinger
9-No Fear In Love – Steffany Gretzinger
10- Reckless Love (Spontaneous)- Bethel Music
11-House on a Hill- Amanda Lindsay Cooke **
12-Sails (Live)- Pat Barrett
13-Always Good (Live)- Hannah McClure
14-It Is Well – Kristene Dimarco
If this is a new concept for you, and you’re feeling unsure about it, I get it. I starred a few songs that are really beautiful starting points. Even if you never listen to any one of theses songs, I hope that this has made you think about what kind of steps that you can take to ensure a little more peace and love in your days. I know, everyone could use more of both right now. Xoxo
Tomorrow will mark the Epiphany. Epiphany has several meanings, and one is “a sudden revelation or insight”. Epiphany also is a notable day in the Church, celebrating when the wise men found Jesus, thereby representing when all Gentiles then found Jesus.
We seem to be living in a time of continued insight and revelation, to all sorts of information, and it can be confusing or overwhelming. It’s important to keep in mind this: Truth is never silent. We just sometimes need to do a better job at paying attention.
The wise men, who sought truth by looking to the stars, finally found it. The ultimate Truth. God’s love come from heaven to earth. They didn’t even understand all of what it meant yet. How could they? Whether they understood it or not had no bearing on whether it was true.
We are all wise men. At first, at least. We are seeking truth, turning over rocks, looking for understanding. Big truths, little truths. All of it. Sometimes we find it, and keep it. Other times we might return those pieces holding truth back to their place- in disbelief, or to cover it from our eyes, try ignore it. Because it’s too hard or too unreasonable or unfathomable. It will not cease to be true.
When we find truth or Truth, we can choose to be like children, cover our ears, close our eyes, and wish it to go away. Worse yet, we could choose to be like King Herod, who when he found out the truth, felt that it would jeopardize his position. And so he sought to destroy it.
Herod’s plan to destroy the truth didn’t work out, by the way. The truth accomplished what it came to earth to accomplish. Even if others didn’t know what even happened. Truth always triumphs, even when people don’t accept it. Even when it doesn’t look like anyone was hoping.
One of my favorite Christmas cards of all says , “Wise men still seek Him.” We can choose to be wise men if, after finding truth, we don’t walk away from it. Especially the biggest truth of all, of the baby who would save us from ourselves. We can come, too, and kneel before the One who Is.
Truth requires humility and faith, both. Truth can’t be ignored forever, and it is never is forgotten. Once someone knows truth, even a sliver of it, they will always know it. Even if, or rather when, their mind tries to talk them out of it. Your heart will still always know. Truth doesn’t disappear. Truth is not silent, nor will stay hidden forever. We just sometimes need to do a better job of paying attention. Truth never lies. We just tell ourselves some or a lot of those.
My prayer this year is for more LOVE and UNDERSTANDING. See, sometimes lies start with misunderstanding. So I would like to find more of both. With continued discovery, and uncovering. Maybe you would like to join me. It is wise to never stop seeking truth. Those that do are on a continued journey of discovery. Oh, to be a wise man, who hears, who humbles himself, and who shares with others. Even if you’re not sure what anyone will do, yourself among them, when you find it. Truth is not intimidated by anything. It changes things when it speaks.
Truth is, Jesus IS truth. The way, the Truth, the Life, according to scripture. So if you want to find truth, sure you can read as many articles as you can. You can peruse the internet. You can ask a lot of questions. For me, the best question I can ever ask is to the Truth himself. Jesus what do you say?” Not “what would Jesus do?” But, rather “Jesus, what are you doing?” The first question is that of a dead religion. The second is to a living, breathing savior. Who longs to reveal himself.
Because this Truth, this Jesus? He’s worth trusting. He is worth finding.
He brings with himself more understanding. Even if you don’t get a clear answer right away, or maybe even ever, you can’t ever go wrong asking and trusting Him. Who IS truth. Even of what we don’t yet understand. Getting closer to Him will always always always be worth it.
Do you ever pick a word for your year? A theme for a season? No matter what you might have picked, this year’s realities probably surpassed what you anticipated or expected. 2020 was full of… surprises, to say the least. Sitting here in yoga leggings and a sparkly sweater, feeling grateful to be with my family while feeling a little like something’s missing, I consider these dichotomies. It would seem that there’s one word that kind of sums up everything. (And no, it’s not a cuss word.) If 2020 was anything, it has got to be the year of “and”.
Struggle and blessing. Disappointment and joy. Frustration and breakthrough. Open eyes and hurting hearts. It was year of hugging the ones around you closer and tighter while missing those too far away, or worse, having gone and left an unfillable hole. It was a year of tremendous growth and some real pain. A year where you feel blessed to be home and yet miss going out. Year of losing of some things, while gaining some more of what matters most. Figuring some things out and understanding there’s so much that you never will.
2020 was, or felt like, one of the biggest mixed bags of blessing and trial. It has even seemed to hold onto its job until the very final moments, the last gasps. If you to find yourself ringing in the new year with some mix of emotions- maybe even yoga pants on the bottom and a sparkly sweater on top, too- then you my friend, might have found your word to sum up 2020. Your year might have been an “AND” year, too.
The crazy thing about “and” though, is that it holds a whole lot of space for grace. Where two things coexists that are seemingly impossible at the same time, Grace is a bridge between them. Grace is where God comes. It’s the bridge between what was, and what could have been. Between joy and grief, between love and learning more. Between here and the now, yesterday and today. Between heaven and earth. Grace is a meeting place.
As we stand facing 2021 and a whole new year yet to discover, I hope that you can meet up with Grace upon the bridge. And there, meeting His Love, you can walk across the bridge together.
It’s a good idea, too, to leave behind what you’re able to leave behind. It help you recognize grace when you stumble upon it. Help you really embrace it when you find it. Leave the things like bitterness, anger, and pain behind as soon as you can, and whatever else is heavy, unbecoming, loathsome, cumbersome .
For whatever you may have lost, I pray you carry with you only the salvageable things forward. Keeping what it taught you and what you learned. (Sometimes it came at a very high price.) The things that remain (like faith, Hope, and love.) Things that don’t weigh you down. Without carrying the extra heavy stuff. Regret, worry, disappointment. Because it’s important to not get weighed down.
“Letting go of what is behind pressing on for what is ahead.”
Cheers to 2020. Thankful for what has brought you here and determined to leave behind anything but the best. Cheers to holding onto the blessings, the beauty, the important things. Letting go of what you can’t control. Acknowledging what we’ve lost, what’s been painful, and choosing to not carry what we don’t need any further.
Standing at the edge of a new year. Rejoicing over it- what has brought us here, what’s behind, and what is yet ahead. Trusting that whatever it is is going to be brighter. That we’re more ready. Ready to move ahead, into a great new unknown. With more strength AND gratitude than we knew last year.
Thanks 2020. It’s been real. AND we’re glad we’ve made it over to the other side.
For a very long time I’ve had a hypothesis about the verse “God gives you the desires of your heart.” Though I had heard it used many times as a way of reassuring a loved one ( You want a baby, a new job, a trip to Mexico’s? Well, course God wants bless you that way! Trust God!”) Though we should trust God and actively talk these things over with him (because no one cares to hear about it as much as he does), I think it actually a gross misunderstanding to interpret things this way. A well meaning interpretation, but a rather childlike one.
What I think it really means is much less centered around what God will do for me, and more grounded in what we will do, and do most extraordinarily, for God.
The things you love and want to participate in? There’s not meant to be handed to you any more than any parents is meant to hand things directly to their child when they haven’t earned it.
It is rather, that your destiny is both intrinsically tied to what you desire and will ultimately be expressed through your participation.
It is not about gifts from God; it’s about using your gifts for God.
The things that get you excited, engaged, and passionate? Those are the places you need to lean into.
It doesn’t mean waiting around for a package delivery from Fedex, UPS, or Heaven itself that will give you what you’ve always wanted. It means you that you’re meant to spend time pursuing those things, expressing your God-given talents, and sharing what comes from them as you follow that pursuit. It’s a present that is unfolding in your life all around you.
It means an active participation in the areas that excite you, that then enables those dreams to be realized in your lifetime.
It’s not never, it’s not yesterday or even right now. It’s always. It is work in progress. If you are alive, it is still both possible and important. Wherever we find ourselves on the life trajectory, it’s not too late to pause the unintended or unplanned orbit, and lean into the places and causes that make our heart skip a beat or two.
That’s the sweet spot. The sweet spot for which we were created. Don’t downplay it. Don’t compare. This is not a multiple choice or a paint by number. This is uniquely you.
There is neither sacred or secular, either. Foster care and painting, politics and pastoring, dog training and human teaching. They all have a place, alike, and not one is more important or meaningful than another. If it’s in you, it’s needed. God literally gave you the desires of your heart. It takes all kinds, all calling, to bring about the immense purpose of God in the world. Your piece in that puzzle matters. Our dreams are not by accident. They are placed in our hearts, directly related to where and why we need to spend out time, love, and resources.
Tell me, what are you bravely going to pursue, knowing that God has already given you those desires. Not because he’s waiting to gift you with them in reality, but because he’s waiting to see what you will do to make them happen.
So there’s no shortage of pontificating going on in the the web-iverse these days (I think I just made up that word, but we’ll go with it.) I myself wrestle almost daily with when to speak and when to be silent. Measured words are wisdom. But isn’t silence golden, after all?
That depends on what you’re talking about. Shutting out noise is good. Shutting out lies, even better.
But tell me, when is Truth silent?
Truth be told, it never is. It is always speaking, and sometimes, it uses words. It speaks to the hearts of men. It speaks in nature and in whispers. It speaks in books and music and art. It speaks in many ways, everywhere.
Sometimes Truth speaks through your life. Sometimes it needs your words, too. So use them today, and every day, well.
It makes me think of one of my favorite children’s books, Frederick. Frederick is a tiny mouse who, with his family, is supposed to be preparing for winter. While they are collecting seeds, nuts, and hay, he appears to be daydreaming. When winter finds them all shivering, alone, and wanting together, they turn to Frederick. He had been busy collecting sunshine and warmth, words to bring them love and courage when they needed it most.
What have you been collecting? Maybe it’s time to share that warmth and that light with the world. Especially if it’s anchored in love and tethered with grace.
Always listen for truth. Live it at all times, and speak it when necessary.
You are responsible for what you say and what you do. You are also responsible for what you don’t. Make sure your words and silence are both meaningful and important, motivated by love. Then, don’t be stingy. The world needs the warmth you’ve been collecting.
And if you’re worried about getting it wrong, don’t be. If what you thought to be true doesn’t stand up in the light of day, real Truth never condemns. It always sets you free. That’s part of the whole process.
May we ever be ever-guided by Truth and Love together. Go love the world like you’re supposed to today, and always. It gets a bit dark when you’re not fully you.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.