Love is so beautiful to mention, isn’t it? Like an armful of beautiful red roses and a warm embrace, it’s the thing that makes the world go round. All kinds of wonderful love lifts your heart and makes you feel alive. I think anyone you ask would like more love in their life (chocolates, hearts and Valentine’s Day totally optional).
Who among us would say ‘no thanks’ to that possibility? Of having more love in their lives? Anyone? Would you take a little more friendship, or a little more romance, if given the option? Maybe just a little bit more kindness or thoughtfulness throughout your day. Would anyone actually say no to that? I mean, please, let me go get my bucket, right?!
But Love is actually the biggest and somewhat scariest topic of all, and it requires bravery to even talk about. It’s so big that it can’t be contained on one page, certainly not this one (but you have to start somewhere.) So scary in fact, that I hesitate to share my thoughts. I find myself wrestling with the ideas and the words as I write them, as much as I wrestle with love itself. Each day I live, I grapple in the space between the theory of love and its implementation. I could never pretend to have it all figured out. But I keep coming back to this one thing, this starting line, bottom line truth, and it won’t let me shake it.
So here goes. From one woman in the trenches to another….
If you want more love in your life, it starts with you.
Love really starts with you. This is not the conversation about how romance starts with self love, or that love will find you when you’re ready (though both really can be true). This is about, do you want more live in your life? Then start looking at what you’re putting out there.
This may sound crazy. I know, I know. It does sound crazy. Or maybe you already knew it.
But either way it’s true, and it’s the truthful starting point in every junction and conversation about love that needs a to be revisited.
If you want more love, you need to give more love.
How does that make you feel when you hear that? Does it scare you? Make you feel sad? Did you have a sudden running list of “but”s on your mind? “But I am loving.” Or “I deserve better” or “I’m just not getting the love that I crave”. “I do so much”. All of those things can be true. For many of of, it’s probably is true, on one level or another. And I’m so sorry for the places where love lacks or gaps for you right now. You don’t deserve anything but love. That is true. You should know that deep in your bones.
And yet. That next level? The more that you want and deserve? It still starts with you.
I know it’s hard, but if we feel that we’re lacking in life, we have to start at the only place we ever really can start. Ourselves.
https://unsplash.com/@hudsoncrafted
No matter how hard we might try otherwise , we are the only thing that we can control. No matter how hard I try, how many hints I may make, how much I set myself up to be loved, I cannot make it happen. I cannot control any input that I might receive from the outside. I can only control my output. Its hard, but it’s the only power that I have.
Even if you’re so loving, which I’m sure you are. You’re so giving already; it’s who you are, it’s what you do. But this is not about doing more. This is not about any kind of guilt. (Guilt is reactive, internally focused. This is about making conscious choices to be more proactive and maybe leaving less room for guilt.). It’s about letting go, releasing, relaxing a little more. Stick with me a minute.
Here’s the thing. I know, love is sooooooo expensive. It’s not just the flowers and diamonds, dinners out, the effort of beauty and all the things that make us look desirable (though, honestly, that is very real, too.) It’s that love as a verb, which we hear about at weddings. “Love is patient, love is kind. It keeps no record of wrongs.” That love.
It is not cheap, quick, mere words, or plain actions. It’s hard to give, and to give on repeat. It costs you time, patience, energy, ego. If you’ve been in a committed relationship, a marriage, parenthood for any length of time, you understand it deeply. Sometimes you run a little dry, maybe even little bitter. I get it. It’s totally normal.
“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..” seems to be how many relationships start. But slowly, eventually, maybe because of time or selfish human nature, I don’t know exactly, the question seems to flip. It becomes “how do YOU love ME. Let me count the ways (or maybe count the ways that you continue to fail)”.
It’s so easy to become self- protective or self- centered, even in our loving and serving of our families. (Or maybe that’s just me!). I realize that sometimes I put what I feel is love out there, and when I don’t get a response that I’d hope for, I can become bitter or withdraw.
I don’t even always hear my silent “I’ll love you, if…”. Is that even really even love anyway?
https://unsplash.com/@jtylernix
I love my family and friends deeply. And yet.
I sometimes stop and wonder, in all of my doing and responsibilities, am I showing my family the best, purest love? Not just bedtime kisses or saying the words. Or even doing things for them. I mean, every day, rubber meeting the road, showing more love than self-importance. I mean the stuff that feels most expensive.
When it’s dinnertime and they’re asking me what feels like a hundred things, or I feel like I’ve been wronged in some way, or put upon, I can feel myself getting frustrated. When I speak, I can sometimes can hear the bitter in my voice. There’s not nearly enough love there, I think, and I know that in the love department, I could do better. A lot better, a hundred times a day.
There’s a sign in the bathroom of our pediatricians office that reads “Always be kinder than you feel”. It’s like a light bulb and a punch in the gut at the same time, and I feel it afresh ever time I think of it. I have so much room for improvement.
I say that I love my family, but am I willing to pay the price of showing love, by being more patient than I feel?
Even when it seems to costs me so much, am I being as loving as possible?Am I willing to love my family by letting things go? To love instead of keeping track of all that I’m doing, of all the ways that I’m serving and caring and loving?
Maybe the hardest part sometimes is all the measuring and the counting that I’m doing.
Maybe if I stopped worrying about how much it was costing me to love every time, I’d love more easily.
Maybe if I stopped thinking it was so expensive, I could give it away more freely. Maybe I’m doling out love like a greedy little miser and I should start I giving it away like a generous, rich fool?
If we could tap into a deeper love, a love that isn’t restricted, one that is limitless, and is detached from the outcome, from the reciprocation, we would have more of it.
The truest love does what it does with less attachment to the weight of it all.
https://unsplash.com/@jannerboy62
See, love doesn’t actually wait, withhold, measure, or count. Love just gives. Even when it’s tested, even when it’s unreciprocated, either directly or immediately, or maybe even at all sometimes. The nature of love is to give.
It’s also one of those things that, when you give it away, it actually grows. There’s never too much, never “enough”. So why not share what I have.
If I feel like I need more love, others probably do too. If someone else needs it, I want more of it, and it grows when I give it, why not give away more?
Remember that sometimes the greatest things that we seek are already ours. The love that you feel you need you can start giving away immediately. I can’t ever help what I love I get from others, but I sure can help what love I give. No matter what, you get to choose your output.
So instead of becoming bitter, defensive, or withdrawn, when I don’t get the feedback or input I am looking for, I could choose to GIVE what I seek, I can actually set me up for greater love. The self defense-mechanism would be to match what I was given, but that can keep us all very short-changed.
Choose to be loving, and kind, and even more unattached to an outcome. Choose to be what you seek, to put the best that you can out into the world. Scatter that love like pennies and dimes instead counting it so costly, and keeping it to yourself. It will never be enough if you keep it. It’s more than enough when you give it away unattached.
I’ll be over here working on the same. Trying to put even a little more love into the world, into my home- to fill it up with love. It reaps exponential benefits, even when it’s hard. Maybe even especially when it’s hard. (Remind me if (when) I complain.)
Istead of counting the ways you see love isn’t adding up, focus on the GREAT that you can create with LOVE. It really does all starts with you. Use your superpowers. As much as it feels like it costs and as much as it feels like effort, is it absolutely worth it.
More love, like pennies from the sky, will come as you give it away. I pretty much promise. At the very least it will grow in you. Because love is transformative. Because love is powerful. Love can not only can transform the recipients, it most of all transforms the giver.
Jen Sincero’s book You Are A Badass is one of the most highly buzzed-about books currently, and though I may be late to the party, I’m here for it. I just spent the past several months slowly reading my way through it. Seriously, I started sometime in September, and I savored it like a rich chocolate.
While her writing style makes it so easy to read, the content was so rich for me, I’d find myself slowly digesting the book in pieces. I’d want to read more, but my soul would be full enough to pause, consider, digest. I needed time for everything in me to catch up- brain, heart, intellect, intuition.
Honestly, I loved it. I love her writing style. It feels like sitting down with a good friend over coffee. You know the one, she probably just got back from some exotic adventure in Bali or Italy, but she’s probably wearing a super cool dress that she got for a steal. She’s open and honest in a disarming and self-effacing way. She’s insanely interesting, yet approachable. Her book felt just like that for me.
I was surprised and shocked (but shouldn’t have been) when I went to rate it on Goodreads and saw that some people hated it completely and it even had a collection of 1 star reviews. I mean, I guess I get it though. It’s one of those books that can seem silly, ridiculously, mind-blowing, or magical, depending on your personal convictions or typical bend. But when you get it, you get it. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
If you at all are interested or intrigued by a book that talks about how you can make your life better, with tangible and less-than-tangible steps that you can take, starting at any time without a lot of glitter or “three easy payments”, you might want to give this book a shot.
It’s a self help book that has to do so much to do with self- worth, self- perception, and mindset. It’s main gist is that you are operating (ie, thinking, acting, living) on a certain frequency, you will continue to operate on that frequency. When you believe and behave or act a certain way, life continues to look a certain way. You’ve gotta dial things up a notch if you want to take it to the next level.
It’s kind of like the idea of laws of attraction, as I somewhat understand, only it (seems to me) to take it to the next level. It goes from thinking and believing good things for your life, to acting upon those beliefs. It’s taking the idea that “good things will happen for me”, and then gets to putting the work boots on in order to move yourself along the path. Personal responsibility, not magic raindrops falling from the sky. Acting like the next level in order to rise to the next level.
The concepts that she discusses touch a variety of areas, from relationships to careers to the specifics of what your life looks like day to day. She also talks about money quite a bit. Whether or not you want to think or talk about money, when you really stop to consider, it’s deeply connected to how we live our lives. The choices you have to make (or not make), the experiences that you can have, all are even somewhat tied to money. Understanding your relationship with money is hugely important if there are things that you want to achieve, experience, or accomplish. Because everything will require resources, and somehow or another, the resources often connect back to money. So, it’s important stuff.
It’s not a religious book, but it’s not sans-religion or belief, either. She addresses quite early on that you don’t have to believe in a higher power, but “trust us” things are a whole heck of a lot better if you do. Whatever that looks like for you, it’s a huge part of failing things up to a higher frequency in your life.
It’s down to earth and also a bit “woo- hoo” at times (self proclaimed, even). But it’s soooo good. I underlined a lot, and I will absolutely be reading it again. It’s helped me see some things more clearly and I’ve been able to instill some better thought choices and habits for myself.
If you’re intrigued at all, you should try reading it too. If you have read this book, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! And, I think you should know, whether you read the book or not… You ARE a badass.
It’s all about snow here today! Well, mostly. Word on the local street yesterday was that we might get a big, messy snowstorm today. So naturally last night we spent time preparing our snow day dreams. We put our pajamas on backwards and dreamt about a snow day together. Truth be told, my preschooler doesn’t want to miss a day of school at this stage of her career, but I explained the magic of a snow day, the bonus of being together, all cozy and fun, and then she was all in.
Yesterday was apparently also Read Aloud Day (that’s actually every day at our house), so naturally we celebrated. We got out our stack of books from the local library and most of them had a snow theme, and they were perfect for the occasion.
I’m happy to report, all of them are worth sharing. Even though it looks like no snow day today here, I’m glad we enjoying the spirit of it. Hopefully you can too with a few of these great reads.
Take Time To Relax! By Nancy Carlson
Okay, I admit, I’m totally the one that grabbed this book off the shelf. We don’t currently do all the things that this busy little beaver family does like dance, classes, karate, lessons, etc, but momma knows that I tend to run around like that cover image, even inside the house. I could use the chance to sit down, relax, and read this book together. I’m happy to report, we all loved it! Let’s face it, we are all busier than we probably should be.
This adorable family can help us remember to slow down. They got an unexpected snow day (I didn’t know anything about the story beyond the cover. A snow day—perfect timing!). But they got something else unexpected too. They got the chance to connect and remember to share things they had all but forgotten. Stories, songs, time. You know, all the good stuff. This is the kind of book you and your little ones can enjoy over and over, a reminder to slow down and most importantly, connect. (Snow day completely optional.) https://www.amazon.com/Take-Time-Relax-Nancy-Neighborhood/dp/0761389490
White Snow Bright Snow by Alvin Tresselt, illustrated by Roger Duvoisin
When I opened the book, the inside stamp from our library dated the intake as early 2000’s. But the quality of illustrations had me thinking this treasure was more mid- century (one of my personal jams, kid books included). Further inspection confirmed it’s first printing was in fact 1947, but the timelessness of the story has meant many reprints. In fact, there’s even a nook book version available for 99 cents! (Link below description.)
This book starts with a poem, one that the author penned after taking a walk in the snow one winter in NYC. The story and book were born with that poem. A Caldecott medal then followed, and I mean, what’s not to love about that beautiful story about the story😊.
It’s a well paced, thoughtful story about snow falling slowly, changing the landscape and the actions of a few simple characters. The putting on of boots, the slower pace, the effort for adults to carry on in their work, the joy of the kids playing in the snow. Then the snow slowly melts and you get to see a slow transformation in all of them again. It’s lovely, with the black and white text, its red, grey, yellow and orange drawings. This one is definitely a classic, geared more towards young school aged kids I would think.
Toys Meet Snow by Emily Jenkins and Paul O. Zelinsky
This was my first encounter with “the toys”, and I understand there are lots of other books where I could get to know them even better. I’m so very glad, because I love them! Whether you see yourself in the questioning Buffalo, the dreaming Stingray, or the pragmatic Ball, their interactions and discoveries can teach us all something. I love seeing things through new eyes, and this book lets you see snow through three new sets of them. Be prepared to fall a little bit in love with them as they fall a little bit in love with the snow. It’s what life is all about, after all, right there- simple moments of enjoyment and falling more in love with life.
This is an adorable story about two sisters who are very different and enjoy a snow day very differently. (At least at first!) It makes for a great read and chat with your kids. I love hearing from them as we go, which plan of action (or inaction!) do they most feel drawn to? What would they rather choose? As a borderline introvert/extrovert, I found myself torn the whole time between choosing adventure and action like the one sister, or staying in, all cozy, cuddly and recharging creatively like the second . The ending left us all completely satisfied- you can have both, just at different times and in your own way! It’s a fun experiment to think through with your kids, and a great discussions about each individual’s favorite way to enjoy an opportunity. Did I mention the illustrations are so charming?
I hope you can find a chance to enjoy one of these great reads! I’d love to hear if any of these are favorites, familiar, or newly enjoyed! Let’s connect in the comments below, or shoot me note on Instagram.
Whether you have snow today or not, here’s hoping that you have a great, cozy, or adventurous day, kind of like some of our great little book friends.
I’m over half way through the Barre Blend eight week program, so I thought now would be a good time to check in and share some of my thoughts about it.
First matter of note, I LOVE IT!
I have come back to the mat every single weekday morning for the past five weeks. I have followed the program as it’s mapped out, and pressed play each day. This is unprecedented for me. I have never followed a program-a marathon, a triathlon, anything- without moving days around, shifting schedules to fit my own. But there’s something about this Barre Blend that has me doing it in stride.
Even on a day like today when I was unusually tired or the kids woke up half way through (two reasons right there that could have stopped me in my tracks), I stuck to the plan.
I think it’s a combination of many factors. One is the enjoyment of it. One is the commitment to the plan, and realizing that sometimes just following through is easier than juggling to squeeze it in later.
One is the prospect of not “having” to do one of workout on the weekend is a freeing thing. It’s a new thought for me- odd, but welcomed. She calls is time to rest and replenish. I’ve been a weekend warrior for years, running, swimming, or biking sometimes crazy miles every weekend. Now I feel the pull to make taking care of and spending time with my family and the kids a top priorities. So this schedule aligns with that so well right now.
I still work out every day, including the weekends. But having the space, and freedom choose what I want to do on Saturday and Sunday is so lovely, without the feeling of “having” to check a workout box. I can listen to my body. Having that space feels like a chance to breathe, like stepping outside for a breath of fresh air after being inside for a long time.
It is such a comprehensive program. It’s interesting, it’s intense, it’s fun, it is all of the things. I find some of the moves so challenging I have to take breaks (pretzel anyone? Ab work and push ups are my weak spots, too). Some of the intense, smaller motions are obviously what I need to be working on. On some of the moves, though, I can take the intensifiers, which are what she calls the next level. Cardio days are my jam, and I don’t mind the extra movement or high heart rate. I’m used to that kind of hard work. Monday and Friday classes have been my favorites lately, though. Those classes feel so graceful.
The gracefulness is one of my favorite things. It’s bringing something out of me that’s been a little dormant. I feel more confident, more balanced, able to hold and move my body more powerfully and centered, off the mat as well as on.
We had a family dance session the other night, which is not uncommon. We danced around the kitchen to a variety of songs from Frank Sinatra to, of course, the Frozen 2 soundtrack. My daughter and I had “a moment” as we sang and danced our way through Elsa’s anthems. I felt more expressive, more confident, even in my own kitchen with my family (which is ironically sometimes the hardest place to let yourself go). I enjoyed myself more, felt more free, and I know that’s because Barre Blend has helped bring that out.
The last thing I’ll touch on is that Affirmation Deck. The first few weeks I didn’t use it myself. I would wait to see what Elise chose, and it seemed redundant to pull another card. There were a few days that her choice were so poignant. One day I even mixed up the workout by accident and I swear it was probably just because that affirmation card was meant exactly for me that day.
As the weeks went past, I started finding myself drawing cards on the weekends, and inviting my daughter to do the same. I did it other mornings too, before the workout, when I sat to write or read. The sense of clarity for having a word, a thought, an intention is so much more powerful than I’d think. I went from thinking they were optional to now loving what they add to my overall experience.
Here’s the part where Elise gets major props. Not only is she serious “body goals”, she is so heartfelt. I feel like her concepts and her approach to life are very similar to mine, positive, joyful. What she says is not altogether new to hear for me. But yet, truth is truth and can be mind blowing anytime you hear it, even if you already believed it. Its like opening a nesting doll.. there’s always gifts more hidden inside.
I feel so encouraged every time I come to the mat my workouts. And I feel so much stronger. It’s not just the hard body work. It’s the continuous heart work we are all doing, which is one of my favorite things of all! I love what Barre Blend is helping me do for my body and my mind. I love how I feel when I’m on the mat as well as when I step away, both mentally, physically and emotionally. Those are signs of a really great workout.
So the program is a keeper for me. One that I’ll be doing again and again. It keeps getting more intense and challenging, but I’m here for it. I’m already thinking how much stronger I’ll be when I go through it a second time (or maybe even a third!). Tell me, have you tried it yet? Or what physical challenge are you loving right now?
Friends, I have THE easiest Valentine’ss Day craft, activity, decorating idea all rolled into to one to share with you. When you hear it, you’ll say something to the affect of “duh”, and maybe even wonder why I’d write a whole blog post about it. But then when you do it with your kids, you will all enjoy it so much, so easily, you might want to send me one to send me one in thanks! Really.
I had been planning on sharing this post for awhile, and a conversation in the pick up line at preschool reminded me just how universally this could be enjoyed. One of the moms had searched everywhere for Valentine’s Day decorations, but after checking several stores, she had found next to nothing. Well, this idea is cheap, will keep you from running around, and can be enjoyed by almost all ages, and will help channel your children’s creativity in decorating for VD.
This craft is so easy and straightforward. It almost can’t even be called a craft. It’s paper hearts (decorating optional.) But the magic here lies in the second part, the placing of the hearts around, which is what makes it great for even the littlest toddling babes. It’s as simple as could be, but it’s also great because it can become as creative as you and your kids want to make it.
Here’s what you’ll need:
Craft paper
scissors
tape (Seriously, I told you it was simple.)
You can even do it sitting on the floor, like I did (or wherever else you choose. Like the couch 😉). It was born out of the sheer exhaustion of being eight months pregnant and having a 2 year old who wanted action and activity, and I just wanted to sit down. (Her younger sibling was well on its way to being over eight pounds and I was tiiiiiirrrred 😂😂).
Your supplies 😊
It was close to Valentines Day, so I grabbed some pink and red craft paper and a pair of scissors that only I could use. My daughter was young, so she looked on as I sat there and cut out a heart, free hand. (She was fascinating. That is interesting enough right there for some little ones!).
I then rolled a piece of tape onto itself, and put it on the back. I passed the heart to my little toddler and let her put it anywhere she wanted. She would then carry it to a random spot in the house, one she obviously thought needed a little Valentine love. (I’m pretty low key, so there wasn’t anything I was really worried about getting some tape and a heart on. If you are, you might want to keep the activity contained to a safe corner, playroom, or even just a closet door.)
She would place a heart, toddle back over for the next one. Fun on repeat. My house was soon covered in cute pink and red hearts, with very minimal effort from me. It was an explosion of love! It caused her SO MUCH JOY to watch the world around her be slowly beautified by her own efforts.
Seeing those hearts brought me so much joy too. So much that they stayed up for months, ad a few might have stayed up for years. In fact, I still have two on a picture frame and I smile every time that I see them.
The magic is in the scattering of paper hearts around your house. We jut did it again, with the little brother who’s now two years old. It was just as much fun again and didn’t even decorate yet.
Here are a few notes and considerations…
* Obviously, keep the scissors away from your littlest ones.
*If you do have preschoolers, trace the hearts and let them try cutting them out.
*Let your preschooler try their hand at patterns or designs if they have been working on those skills. It’s a really fun way to practice!
*Free form is also great. Let them take you on a tour afterward and show you all of the fun or silly places they were put.
* You can use any color paper that you want. White hearts would also be beautiful!
*Add stickers, use crayons and markers. (Also best for the easiest cleanup.)
*Venture into paints, glitter, and glue if you’re more adventurous. (In which case, hopefully, they’re old enough to help you vacuum.)
**You could also pass a few of those beauties of to grandparents, teachers, or other family members. Share the love.
Since my kids didn’t even decorate yet, we might revisit another day still. (You know, fun on repeat!😉).
With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, why don’t you give it a try with your kids. Seriously, if you have a toddler, it is the easiest, most mess-free Valentine activity you could ever do. It’s not new or genius. It’s stupid simple and easy. It’s creative and yet not very fussy. It offers a great return on your time investment.
It’s big on love and self expression.
That’s my kind of project 😊😊
Let your kids scatter a whole bunch of love around your corner of the world today. Let me know how it goes. ❤️
January looked a little different for me. It was a little quieter, and not for any particular reason and not really on purpose. A sense of quiet chose me more than I chose it. (And I’m so glad that it did.) I would rise to do “The Work”, and like an unexpected visitor, the Quiet came and sat next to me each morning, unexpected, bearing gifts I didn’t know that I needed.
I always rise early to do start my day in quiet, but even that often has a certain bustle about it. I want to do all the things and it often requires that I move through the day with purpose and efficiency.
I’m a hustler, a multitasker, a doer-extraordinaire. Once the day gets going, I’m usually running around, getting as much done as possible in any block of available time (plus five or ten minutes.) The same feeling often can creep into my “quiet time”. Is it the helper or the achiever in me, I don’t know. (But I do know that no matter how much I do, I still always see so much that I didn’t get to.) If my family sits down to watch a movie, I’m the one floating around in the background still trying to do “one more thing” while they call me over. Part of it is that I like to get things settled before I settle (anyone relate?) and yet there’s that part of me that also knows that once I sit down, sleep becomes eminent.
Yet lately, I’ve been sitting in the quiet a lot. With the Quiet. Especially in those early mornings when I have my own time and I’m “supposed” to be working, solo, on my goals and dreams.
coffee, paper & pen, quiet
For the last few weeks, I would sit down to work in the morning, and find myself just sitting and thinking and feelings for a very long time. I haven’t been doing it on purpose, trying to meditate or anything noble like that. I would sit to write my affirmations, my thankful list, the things on my heart, and any number of potential tasks listed out that apply to my goals. So many times I found myself sitting there, looking out, looking in, with only a few things written on the paper. I was unintentionally but definitely mulling things over. So many things. in my mind and heart.
Like rocks tumbling in a refinery, my thoughts and feelings tumble around in my brain. It’s as though the rocks are becoming smoother, loosing their jaggedness. The sharp edges are becoming more obsolete. I am processing through the workings of my heart, how I see things, how I think about them.
My brain is connecting, processing, and assessing so many different aspects of my life and my world. I feel so much in these times.
I write a bit here or there, but overall, not a lot of “work” was getting done. When I’d look at the clock, I would feel a little guilty to see what I hadn’t “done” much with those precious thirty, sixty, 90 minutes (so precious, right momma!?!) There wasn’t much to show for the time.
On paper, at least.
But then I remember that sometimes, that stillness IS the work.
Refining is happening in quiet. Because whatever it is that I think I’m doing- being a wife, a mom, a writer- BEING best comes from a place of understanding and clarity. That clarity of purpose comes from your heart, but it also needs your mind on board.
Sometimes you need to process through the jumble of your mind and heart intentionally. When you think through the day, the things, all the challenges both internal and external, you are processing things. We often do it without too much thought. The thoughts come in, they are accepted, filed away on auto pilot. Then we hold onto the emotions that are attached, and we move ahead on in our day, maneuvering our days with all the new baggage. We are accepting blindly the way that our brains are processing things.
Well, in order to show up and be your best, you can choose which ones to keep and which ones to toss.
THIS IS THE WORK.
You’ve got to choose, to sift through your experiences and how you’re processing them through the colander of your chosen beliefs. This is your chance to let the dirt and the mud and the yuck pass through, go back where it came from, get out of your head. Also, look for, and hold on to those gold bits. You are a prospector. A gold miner. You’re after your best life possible.
You can see most clearly in the quiet which thoughts aren’t serving you. You can think on purpose. You can choose how you look at things, if life is good or bad, if you’re the hero or the victim. You choose which thoughts to keep. And when you choose your thoughts, you are indeed, choosing and creating your life.
Who you are and what your life looks like is truly, actually defined by how you see it. How you choose to see it, consciously or not. Taking time to understand your world and yourself better, to breathe into the open spaces, will create more room for growth.
Whatever you are- a boss, a wife, a friend, a teacher, a daughter- if we want to be your best version, you have to decide every day to do that. In order to keep improving, we must do this heart work. This isn’t about over analyzing or being stuck in thought paralysis. It’s about slowing down and being still sometimes. Because sometimes processing things and thinking intentionally through your life is the most important work of all.
You know what’s so cool. After weeks of sifting, sorting, choosing (and choosing the good), I felt so much growth. After a little while, the work started pouring out again. And it was better, clearer, more refined. I could see that my work in several areas had improved, because I had allowed space for that work in the quiet. Some jagged edges were worn off, replaced with more smoothness. It felt as if some gold had been uncovered. Because some of those jagged pieces of my heart had been smoothed over, everything improved a little. Or a lot.
So yes, the quiet is work, too. And it is beautiful. Don’t forget, The Quiet and The Work are not enemies. They may seem like opposites, wrestling for our time and attention. But they’re not. They are brothers, two sides of the same coin.
The next time you sit down to do the Work and the Quiet knocks on your door, open it. Welcome the visitor. It’s where magic happen Where we pause from producing and we just be.
Quite ironically, it’s also very good for your work. Because it’s in being our best that we can do the best. The best work comes from your heart, through a clear mind. Take time to care for all of it.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love. 