Establishing A Sense of Calm and Structure At Home

Friends! We finally have it— all of that quality time that we crave with our kiddos! Yahoo! Then why are we also so terrified and slightly overwhelmed? Because it’s. So. Much. Time. What will help the most right now is establish a sense of both calm and structure that will help things to run as smoothly as possible in your home.

I’m here to help as best as I can. Since I’ve been a nanny for over 20 years, I like to say that all that time doesn’t make me an expert, but it sure gave me a great amount of experienced. With so many hours under my belt, filling in full days at home, I learned what was most important through trail and error. So I thought I’d share the most important nuggets. Because in unsure times, especially ones with inherent lack of structure, these ideas can be invaluable for maintaining everyone’s sanity!

These are the thoughts, ideas, and overall strategies that will be most helpful now, to help you creating a sense of calm, structure and a even a little bit of wonder and enjoyment. ☺️🙏❤️ Try not to be overwhelmed by looking at the whole big picture. Break it into small moments of possibly instead of one gigantic piece of overwhelming responsibility all at once.

1. Establish and maintain family rules. You probably have them, and now is a great time to both revisit them and also to add in any new ones that you may need during this time. These are uncharted waters, new normals, and that may require some new groundwork (to deal with the new devils.). That’s okay. Our children may sense the changes or the unease, and we may need to be sure to extend a little grace and tenderness. But we also don’t want to allow that to cloud better judgement, and appreciate that they are incredibly resilient. Children (and adults!) still need established rules of human decency and kindness. When those boundaries are crossed, even in tough times, you need to make sure to reestablish them. Enforce and reinforce the rules as positively and consistently as you can. It helps maintain a sense of calm and order when you continue to have rules.
2. Set up some activities or plans. If your children are school age, this may be happening too much already. But if your kids are younger, like mine are, you may like to time block a variety of activities. Some people like to lay out entire schedules, and that’s great if it works for you. I’m more into time blocking with some structure and planning, with other times of unscheduled free time for spontaneity. I’ll set a timer for crafts and creativity, from 10-11 am for example, maybe a family walk at 2 pm, and a pre- dinner dance party at 5:00pm. Make sure to do it in a way that works for YOUR family.
3. Don’t totally isolate or disconnect. Call your family members. Check in on others and see how you can help. Maintain a sense of social connection, even if it’s not in person right now. Helping your family to daily think about, connect with and care for others is so important.
4. Have a family motto. If you don’t have one yet, now is a great time to establish one. Have a brainstorming session together. Figure out what your core values are. Then see if you can dial it in to one short sentence. Maybe it’s “We are kind” or “Go for it!” or “We Are Brave”. You can read more about ours, here. https://courtingtheextraordinary.com/a-family-motto/
5. Let your kids help. If you haven’t yet gotten your kids involved in chores or helping around the house, then there’s no time like the present!! Pass a microfiber wipe along to your little ones and let the magic of helping work for all of you. Make sure they clear their own dishes and throw away their own garbage. Even have them carry their clean clothes to their room after they’re folded. All of these things we started when our kids were two years old. They absolutely can and should do more than many of us are asking them to do on the regular.
6. Explore and adventure within your own home. This isn’t too hard for young ones to do usually. If you have littles, let them lead. But for all of us, let’s channel that awareness, perspective, and creativity. Explore different corners of your home. Sit in different spots, set up snuggles or play in new areas than usual. Create, laugh, pretend, and try to relax into it. Be as interested as possible. Being interested in life around you actually makes you more interesting. interesting.
7. Be creative every chance you get. Read your books. Draw, paint, make music. Bake or key your kids redecorate a space, even if only temporary.
8. Try to get your exercise every day. Make it one of your blocks of time. Parents and kids alike need to move their bodies. Get creative if you have to. Run in circles around the house, inside or out. Having jumping jack competitions, plan obstacle courses. Let your kids lead a “gym class”. Hike in the woods if you can. Do the dance parties. Explore online streaming workout videos. When you move, everyone is happier. You’ll all be more calm and relaxed if you can find ways to move your body throughout the day.
9. Be mindful, pray, or meditate each day. I love what Craig Melvin and his wife Lindsay do. They schedule in “God time” each day for their family. What a powerful way to connect as a family, and to connect with a greater sense of love and meaning. What better time to do it than right now. Do it with fervor, abandon, or stillness and peace. Just do it. It will help everyone- those you pray for, those you love, and you.
10. Instill, encourage, or even insist upon a nap time/quiet time for all. It may sound silly but it’s not, and I would be remiss to not mention it. Whether it’s rotating or all at the same time, it will benefit everyone to create a little healthy space. We all need quiet and silence sometimes, and especially now when we’re with the same people on repeat. The personal rest and reset can work wonders.

⭐️⭐️Heres the bonus tip you might not expect: Ignore your kids a little. Not only is it totally okay, it’s good for them. Let them be creative, give them the space to figure out themselves and one another. With a few guides and directed activities in the mix, it will create a great balance for them. (It’s also why I prefer a few time blocks a day as opposed to a full on structured schedule.) But however you choose, make sure you give them the space to really learn about themselves, too.

These are incredible life opportunities for all of us. We have so much possibility to create a special time for our families as well as great growth opportunities for each individual and for your family as a whole.

If we can be calm and approach this thoughtfully and joyfully in our own homes, we will see the benefits of growth and positivity within our own four walls. Then, the ripple effect it can have on our communities, our countries, our world will be amazing. Don’t expect to be perfect. Just try to keep trying. This is the chance you’ve been waiting for. Go get it!

Stay well friends, in your heart, your mind, and your body. ❤️