Fear the fear, actually.

The national discussion about fear the past few days has been enlightening, to say the least. But not really in a good way. More than any one issue or politician or side, this has me so saddened and, frankly, a bit worried about the state and the soul of our country. I can’t stand by and say nothing. So here goes.

(Let me first say this. Though sparked by a political discussion, this post is actually going to be as a-political possible. This is a gleaning from across the board, learning through personal development, working on mindset, reading books, listening to talks, podcasts, sermons, and seminars. (Personally I’ve pressed into my faith, but that’s just my choice.) This is not a religious thing, this is not a left/right thing or a politics thing.  This is a human thing. Leaders across the board and from various disciplines seem to agree about this topic. Entrepreneurs, Democrats, Republicans, people of faith in God, faith in the universe, or just plain faith in the human spirit, and those who create great change, and often help others do it, too, all agree.

Fear is not your friend.

Yes, fear is a very real part of being human. So this is not to dismiss your feelings or the realities you might be facing. It’s more about understanding that fear shouldn’t dictate your life, dominate your thoughts, or call all of the shots.

Yes, fear packs a strong punch. It places a heavy burden on your shoulders, and if you’re not careful, is a strong undertow that will pull you under.

So, yes, fear of course is real. But it shouldn’t take the headlines.

Speaking of headlines, our president – love him, hate him, or indifferent (I fall toward the last, though many think it impossible) -told us not to fear something. And we’re up in arms.  

How insensitive, disrespectful, misguided!
These pronouncements were made by the hundreds of thousands. Anger and indignation. Even mainstream news was outraged. “President downplays the threat” read the news headline.  (Now, is that actually considered news or does that fall into the op/ed category?? But that another story for another day.)

It’s interesting, because what I heard him say was “don’t be afraid of ‘it’ and don’t let it dominate your life.”   That’s not the same as saying “it’s not a risk” or “it’s not real”.  
Rather, it’s saying don’t let fear be in charge.

“Don’t be afraid” is NOT the same as

• Don’t take action
• Don’t care
• Don’t be informed
• Don’t be wise

In fact, it’s all of those things and more. It’s feeling an emotion, like the one of being scared, but choosing appropriate action instead.

Bravery is an important and powerful part of our human story. It’s an important strength and characteristic that needs to be grown and exercised and strengthened. We don’t need less of it, we need more. Which means we need to lose the fear, every chance we get. On repeat.

Tell me, without bravery, how will we lead our children?
 How will we care for others?  How will we lead even ourselves, if we cannot be brave?
If we cannot even be told to not be afraid without taking offense, or becomes entangled in anger at the mere suggestion.  

Do we remember the words of Winston Churchill, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” They were during a dark time in history when we were sending our young man across the ocean to storm the beaches and parachute behind enemy lines. To fight a very real evil and a horrible enemy that was killing people by the millions? It’s not that there wasn’t anything to fear. There was plenty. Yet we were told not to fear, which happens to be some of the sagest advice ever.

We didn’t collectively balk and defend our right to fear, pointing out all of the reasons why we should or could or must fear. We buckled down and we did what was necessary. To see our country through to the other side. We didn’t demand empathy for the widows or the mothers. Perhaps because we realized that those things are not mutually exclusive. We can have empathy and STILL do what needs to be done, to get through tough times. We can have problems and difficulties and STILL have the fortitude to get through them. We can care so deeply and understand our inadequacies and weaknesses and STILL yet rise to the challenge.

Once I was in a plane that we all thought was likely going to crash.  I watched someone tell another passenger not to worry about it, “Don’t be afraid.” Was that suggestion reckless, ruthless and cruel? I honestly questioned at the time.  Meanwhile, my hands were clammy with fear, my heart was beating like a drum, and I literally thought I would never see my family again. Graciously we landed and my worst fears were not realized.  I didn’t regret those emotions I had—they were so real. Though I actively tried keep them at bay, they were quite vivid. But I didn’t think afterwards that I should have feared more. What exactly would greater panic have accomplished??

Did I take action when I was in what felt like a burning plane? You better believe I did! I prayed and did what I could to prepare to meet my maker, quite honestly. Did my actual fear save me or guide me to a safe landing?  No. Because fear doesn’t save you from anything.  Taking appropriate actions, even with the fear, and sometimes with measured risks, however, does.
Which translates to bravery.

 Did I think another person’s words saying not to worry were unkind? No way.  They were gracious.  Because there was little good that would have been accomplished by causing that person to worry more about something over which they had literally no control.

I know that many feel that we are in a burning plane, going down, politically and maybe even as a nation. Yet, whether that us the case or not there are still many choices we DO have. There are many ways we can be safe and wise, even in the middle of the pandemic.  So take them.   Even if, God forbid, you were to get sick, you don’t also need to be sick in your soul and your mind, riddled with fear. You still can find your bravery.

Don’t we need more courage, boldness and bravery? Don’t we want to lead our families well, teach our kids well, forge new paths of goodness for our country, for our neighbors, our streets and our towns?

Courage is doing something in spite of fear. Courage and fear often coexist and wrestle with one another for the chance to call the shots. Which one will you let win?
Of course we all have fears.    Don’t let fear dominate you. 

Submitting to fears instead of living life with intention and joy and courage is an incredible  loss.  For all of us, but  most of all for you.  

So instead of taking offense if someone tells us not to be afraid, maybe we should listen. Instead of clinging more tightly to our right to be afraid, or even to the fears themselves, let us cling to hope.  Because Hope IS audacious, and it is needed, perhaps now more than ever. In fact, another president wrote those very words. And we weren’t offended then. Because we never should be offended when we’re reminded of our potential for bravery, our hope for better days. Those are the very things we cling to in life, the ideas that help them come.

And even you’re facing something real and you wonder if it’s the devil himself whispering to you not to be afraid- tell him to go to hell and then take appropriate, brave action, though maybe for very different reasons. The truth is that you don’t have to be afraid. You can choose brave.

 (For the record, fear thrives in darkness and darkness hates the light. However, light shines into darkness, changes it, and tells you not to be afraid. Tuck that tidbit in your hat; it makes an excellent measuring stick, should you ever need it.)

So don’t be so afraid of anything but being afraid. ❤️