Make This ONE list To Avoid Holiday Overwhelm

Thanksgiving is now behind us and we’ve officially plunged into Christmas. Some are ahead of the game and already have trees up and cards ready. I tend to be a bit of a purist, and while I don’t mind seeing a tree around Thanksgiving, and even think it can makes things more magical, I don’t personally do it. I wait to start diving into all things Christmas until the fabulous, reflective and delicious holiday has had its Thursday turn. Since it is now, unquestionably, the magical season of all things decorated, twinkling, frosted, and bubbly, it’s time to buckle down and get ready. Just talking about it kind of makes my heart rate increase a little- with anticipation, yes, but also with some a little pressure. Well, I have a plan to help that this year.

Whether you’re already ahead of the game or you’re just getting started like me, i promise, if you try this one exercise, it might save you from some serious extra stress and feeling of overwhelm.

Here’s my hot holiday tip. You need to make just ONE LIST. I know what you’re probably thinking. You already have about seventeen lists- the to-do lists, the baking list, the Christmas card list, the gift list, the house decorating list, the parties and activities list, the packing list, and it goes on and on. You DON’T need another list. I know, I get it, and I’m right there with you. But I’ll stick to my word here. I have ONE more list for you, and I promise, it will actually help you with all of your other lists. (In fact, it might help you might take some things off of those other lists, or possibly even throw them in the garbage after you make this one.)

The one list you need to make is YOUR PRIORITY LIST for THIS season. What do you want to do most? What does your family need most? What would you really enjoy doing, and it would really feel like Christmas when you do? What activities would fill this your life and this short yet heavily weighted time with the sense of meaning, connection, and joy that you crave?

Write that list.

Don’t overthink it, and you don’t have to get too specific. I would actually recommend that most of the things on your list aren’t too specific. Because then when life happens, as it often does, and maybe you don’t get to the specific thing you’re dreaming about, you’ll be less likely to start a slow spiral down into disappointment or despair. As much as you want to write “Go see the nutcracker” or “bake the special cookies with grandma”, because they are such meaningful activities for you, don’t write that. (That’s a to-do list, anyway. We’re talking about a priority list, things that are most important to you on a deep level.)

Then if someone gets sick or the roads are too bad to cross town, and you don’t get to see the play or make the cookies with grandma, it won’t feel so much like failure. You might still be able to find a way to connect in a meaningful way to what was so important about that activity in the first place.

Instead of specifics, maybe you would write down just “bake”, if you love doing that. Maybe it’s really just that you love having and eating the cookies, so write “cookies” (and then you go buy them from your local bakery instead of making them and getting flour all over the place, anyway.) Maybe “connect with grandma” is the special part to you, so write that, and grab lunch, tea, or bring her a box of tissues if she’s under the weather.

To help you hone in on your list, think about what your favorite holiday memories are, what you’re doing and how it makes you feel, both then and now looking back. Was it reading Christmas books by the sparkling tree by yourself and a cup of cocoa or with your children? Was it listening to a live concert with you family? Taking the kids to see Santa or the lights? Maybe it was dropping off the angel tree gift or the new toy to the children’s hospital. Maybe it’s watching all the cheesy (and beautiful) Christmas specials with lots lip syncing and glittering, flocked trees. Do you adore sending cards, or walking in the woods by yourself? Think of what invigorates you, gives you peace, fills you with awe, touches your soul. Write from that place.

Also, what feels important? What are the holidays all about to you, anyway? Decorating, gifting, baking, connecting with your people, outdoor activities, music, hosting a special meal?

From a place where you’re connected to both the emotions that you want to feel and the activities that are important to you, write your priority list. It should really only be about three to five things. Maybe you have a couple more or a couple less, but too many priorities means they’re not really priorities anyway. This is a list to help you NOT be overwhelmed, so be kind of ruthless here. The whole point of the exercise is to help you make the most of your sweet holiday season by knowing what’s most important.

There are no wrong answers, no obligations. These are YOUR priorities. Place here things that are important to you right now. Cousin Suzy’s Cookie Exchange doesn’t belong here, even if you want to go. That’s for your to do list. “Connecting with family” goes on this list. Or, “spending time alone”. You choose.

Write it down. Hang it in your fridge, your mirror or your dashboard.

Then refer back to that list often.

When you know these priorities, they become true goals and you can more easily get there. When life gets busy or throws new things your way, good or bad, you can assess the big picture, adjust, correct course, and still get to THAT destination you mapped out beforehand.

If your list doesn’t include decorating as a top priority, then when you see someone’s amazing decorating on Instagram, you can drool and appreciate it just fine without letting it throw you into a tizzy of activity, adding seventeen things to do your to-do list, or into a funk of disappointment as you look at your tree. You have your priorities and what you know what you want to do, as well as why. So you dim the lights, snuggle your children in close and read a story by the light so of your good enough Christmas tree.

Here’s an important thing. Your priority list might look a little different than last year’s or next year’s, and that’s okay, and good. In fact, if your life doesn’t look like it did last year, then your priority list probably shouldn’t either. It’s the whole point of making this list. Because as life changes, so do priorities. Maybe you just had a baby and so your priorities have changed from shopping all over town and going to the philharmonic, to now spend as little time in the stores as possible, ordering in, and sending cards to celebrate baby’s first Christmas. Maybe you broke your foot and your usual collection of Christmas decorations will stay mostly in boxes while you watch as many Christmas movies as possible and knit hats to gift. Priorities. It’s about knowing both where you are in this season, and what you want it become most of all.

My list this year is to some baking with my family, decorate the house just enough for my family’s enjoyment and not for display or winning a decorating contest. Gifting a few meaningful gifts with as little running around as possible. Sending cards that mark another year of our growing little people. And my favorite, lots of shared magical family moments, wherever we are (Santa and twinkling lights, optional.)

It’s simple enough, but it’s more than enough in what has become a season of “too much”. I will check in often. I will be open to adventure and change, but I’ll try not to stray from what’s most important to me and my family. I’ll refer to our priority list. I’ll hold these important things in higher esteem over excess and over-achieving. I hope you do too.

Consider this one of the best gifts that you can give yourself this year. Clarity. Purpose. Meaning.

Tell me, what’s on your list?

Xo