My New Assistant, the Timer

It’s hard to juggle all of the balls that we manage in our busy lives, isn’t it? The house, the kids, the job, meals, errands, and relationships, plus the goals, fitness, hobbies, hopes and dreams. It can be exhilarating and interesting, and it can also feel like we’re running in circles, hardly making forward progress. Or maybe that’s just me?

I find this is especially true with my role as Mom. When I’m home, I’m snack queen, house cleaner, sock-finder, story-reader, problem-solver, cookie-maker, activity planner and implementer, multi-level organizer, and developmental overseer, just to name a few, and I’m everything all at once. I find myself pulled from one thing to the next and back around most days.

I can start unloading the dishwasher, only to realize someone needs another piece of toast or their spoon fell. I try to catch up on emails or plan the next meal, squeezing tasks into a quarter moment, and then someone’s potty break needs a little assistance or someone else colored on the furniture (thank you, toddler years.) Maybe both. Sometimes I wonder: WHERE is my assistant?

There are many helpful resources for the difficult task of being mom but it seems so many of them encourage us to get help from others, either begged or bought. That’s great, but that’s not be where I am right now. I AM the help. I work part time out of the house, and so I already get help from family members during that time. It’s invaluable and also about all that I can or want to ask of them. I’m not willing to pay anyone to help me when I’m home.

So I need ALL of the tricks I can get which will HELP ME. I need things that help me work smarter. (Lord knows I don’t need to work any harder, and you probably don’t either!) I need ideas that enable me to be and feel more peacefully productive. I’ll say that again- peacefully productive. That’s a fabulous goal, indeed!

Enter scene: The timer, my new assistant (superhero cape unseen but clearly there.) It’s a sunny yellow egg timer, denoting how many minutes you need to cook the perfect soft, medium and hard boiled egg. It has been sitting on the shelf in my various kitchens with the same color walls, starting with my first apartment. We recently remodeled our kitchen and while the yellow is gone from the walls, my trusty little yellow timer isn’t going anywhere. It’s here to stay because it’s still loved, and also, because it’s been called up to the big leagues. (Also, my assistant is now so “big time” that it has assistants,too. The timers on my watch and my phone are on serious rotation as well, with the yellow timer leading the charge.)

The job description is simple and straight-forward. The cost is minimal to free, and the value is almost priceless (or at least really really high. Especially in the sanity department, if you value that sort of thing, wink wink.) I’m sure you’ve read the articles. When you tally up Mom’s job descriptions and add up the salaries, it would be at least six figures. I actually think it is probably up to CEO level by now, really, if you figure in all the jobs of cook, nanny, laundress, housecleaner, personal shopper and chauffeur alone.

Well, if I’m like the CEO of household operations, then this timer is the assistant, sitting watch at the desk outside my office door, noting my schedule and my priorities for the day as well as the moment, keeping away distractions, and helping make the most of my valuable time.

When I set a timer, it’s like making an appointment on my calendar and letting my assistant know how long I’ll be busy. We know how important appointments are, and for these ones I don’t even have to leave my house. This works whether it’s planned ahead or decided on the spot. I decide what I need to work on, one priority at a time, and for how long. I set the timer and I get to work. My little assistant keeps track of my intentions and lets me know when it’s time to move on.

By setting a timer, I’m employing a time blocking technique, in small and manageable measures, and applying it to my life at home. I’m setting a parameter and indicating a priority for different things. What kind of things, do you ask? I use it for everything from my personal goals and fitness, to laundry and vaumming, playtime, bedtime, writing, and even the kitchen sink. (Literally, the kitchen sink. More on that later.) Based on whatever my priorities are for that day, I decide what, when and how. My assistant helps me execute.

This is why I love using a timer:

1- It helps me start something I don’t want to start.

“Once begun is half done” are the wise words of Mary Poppins. I love her, of course, and also it’s very true. Sometimes the hardest part of a certain task, either big or mundane, is simply starting. These times, I set the timer. It works especially well for folding the clean pile of laundry I’ve amassed during the week or tackling the messy dishes, which I seem to resist unconsciously sometimes. (Why do I, anyway? Is it that initial plunge, getting dirty hands and turning away from everything else? Though let’s be honest- some days that’s a little escape!)

Sometimes it’s starting the work on the big goal or the big task that’s part of the big goal. The one you need to do and pretty much want to do, that gets you closer to your dreams, but that you resist somehow. Like sitting down to actually write the thing that’s in your heart, putting the words on the page one word at a time, much like I am now. I had to set the timer just to get started today and give myself the chance to begin.

For you that might be working out (I WILL walk for 20 minutes!) or making phone calls for your job or side hustle, or following up on emails that wil move you forward. Whatever it is, if you carve out time to work toward that goal of yours, a timer can help to hold your feet to the fire, to help you do the tasks, to make things happen instead of just dreaming about them.

2- It helps create just enough structure without overwhelming me.

Something that I’ve learned about myself is that I’m not one for strict schedules, hard deadlines, and rigid to do lists. Believe me, I have to to do lists and I make plans, and I get a lot done. I mean, A LOT. But with so many moving pieces of the puzzle, I find that the times I attempt too much structure, it stresses me out and I can’t maintain it.

But that doesn’t mean I’m total free range over here. I need a little structure, not none at all. That’s where the timer helps. It’s using time blocking, so I can designate time towards a certain areas. It’s flexible enough for me to embrace it without being so rigid that I feel stuck. I set the timer and when I don’t need it, leave it on the shelf when I don’t. I helps me still feel like I’m in the one in charge, not just the tasks and schedules.

3- It helps me focus on one thing (mostly) at a time and limit distractions.

There’s a lot of multitasking that happens as a mom, like it or not. My husband says that multitasking is actually truly impossible. When he says that, I pause from what I’m doing- tying a shoe, nursing the baby, and maybe even brushing my teeth at the same time. I consider his words and nod in half agreement. I think that he’s right, and also I can’t help it. I find it almost impossible to fully avoid and yet it’s hard to feel great about any sort of progress if I do it all day long. Sometimes I need singular focus.

I’ll use it if I need to concentrate on something without a thousand interruptions, wherever they may be coming from. Interruptions are difficult, whether they come externaly or from internal sources, and setting a timer can help me stay on task, therby increasing my productivity.

4- It helps me finish well.

Knowing at what point I’ll move on to the next task has helped me engage more in what I’m doing at the moment, focus more clearly and finish strong. The flip side, is that it can keep me honest, and give me the accountability to actually finish (for that moment.).

I am a natural doer. Simultaneously, I am really big on quality time. I can often be found struggling between the two extremes. Designating set time for each hungry part of my psych is not only helpful, it’s somewhat therapeutic. Because while having a great work ethic is fantastic, it can come at a cost. I can easily find myself getting carried away and working, one task to the next. Then I end up feeling rushed and robbed of the time that I value so much with my loved ones. Creating an end time is sometimes the best thing that I can do keep me from “over doing.”

Can you relate? Try using the timer to remind yourself to finish the task, and then move on.

5– It reduces the feeling of overwhelm and not enough.

While juggling using the different roles, switching between the hats, it can feel overwhelming because of the emotional pull from one thing to the other. You can feel guilty for what you’re not doing. When I use the timer, I’m not only giving attention to one area, I’m reminding myself that I’m giving attention to that area. When guilt creeps up, be it for business, blog, the laundry, exercise, or time with my kids, I can remind myself that I did work on that area today. I set a timer and I gave it attention, and I did the best that I could, I spent the appropriate time on that area for NOW or for TODAY, and I moved on. I know that I’ve done a few things WELL.

It helps put me in charge of the time instead of me running around after every priority that’s pops up. It enables me get things done a little better. It’s helping me keep carve out a little more mental clarity, some sanity and a just enough structure into these flexible and sometimes messy days. It organizes my brain and my day without overwhelming me.

When I make the timer I’m making focused time for something or someone important, which means I might actually finish a task. (Novel idea!) At the least, it helps me to focus on one area at a time and make some forward progress. Sometimes setting a timer might mean the task isn’t finished fully (hello laundry pile, I’m looking at you!) , but I gave it the most appropriate amount of time for right now.

The act of setting the timer has gotten me in some better habits of practicing boundaries and not just being a people pleaser or task doer. It’s allowed me to be in control of my time more, and feel a little less like I’m chasing after every need that keeps popping up. Especially when I’m home and with my little, precious, playful, awake, and hungry kids. It’s my super assistant, and I don’t even have to pay it. But it’s beyond valuable.

Do you sometimes struggle with these same things? Try out this “assistant”. Use the timer a few times this week and let me know if it helps you!