The power of FUN

Honest confessions.  I’ve had more fun here in these first two weeks of summer than in the whole of the winter that lead up to.  (And winter here lasted a good six months this year, so this is saying a lot.) I had my head down and was working hard. (That’s what we do, right?)

I’m  a mom of two young ones, I work outside of the home part time, and I am working on this new blog adventure. I tend to get a lot done each day, between running my house and all these various ventures.   I keep a pretty full schedule and move at least part of every day at a somewhat rushed, and sometimes even hectic pace.

I do my best when I’m busiest, but no one does their best when they’re just busy.  As winter dragged on and spring was somewhat lackluster, I faced various challenges, I was loosing steam, and a bit of joy, if I’m being honest.  I keep working at it and I kept trying to choose the good stuff. But my joys were quieter, more “reserved”, even sometimes hard fought. I kept trying, but I kept falling short. Also, uncharacteristically, I kept falling apart.  I needed to shake it off. I needed some brightness, some lightness.  I needed something. I needed summer, it turns out. I needed fun.

Both suddenly and after a long time so it seemed, it happened. Summer came swooping in with sunshine and adventures, like a long-forgotten best cousin. You know, the one you didn’t realize you missed until they shot you their best dimpled grin, complete with freckles, sparkling eyes, and just a hint of mischief. The call to join the quest for adventure comes so powerfully that you drop whatever it was that you were holding, including pretext, and you follow them toward, well, toward wherever they might lead.

This was the arrival of summer this year. It was bold and front loaded. It surprised me, it dazzled me. It came in busy, and messy, with overloaded schedules and juggling childcare scenarios. It allowed- no, required- me to set down some of the balls I was juggling and join in.

Summer is urgent in its important attempt for you to let down your guard, lay aside your busyness, and get busy in the non important things that are actually, oh so important. It’s nothing if it’s not self assured. Once you join this unabashed cousin on the “lesser tasks” like watching the sun set or the clouds move long enough to stop counting the minutes, or jumping in that cool water and squealing a little, you realize (again) just how important and powerful FUN is. It makes you feel alive. It awakens your curiosity, it gives you a boost of confidence in what is possible in the world, what your important place could be.

Summer! Oh, summer! Summer doesn’t remember to be quite so polite and patient. It rises early with the sun and lingers awake with warmth of vibration long after the sun sets. It has dirty feet, sun kissed shoulders, and a big smile on its face. It has fingers that are sticky from sweet dripping ice cream or picking juicy berries and cherries. It leaves the dirty dishes in the sink when it needs to, it blows away the dust on the dresser instead of doing the proper dusting. It changes the schedule and goes to the concert and then throws the beautiful fluttery blouse on the floor as it crawls into bed much later than usual, and for none of the usual reason. Summer is impolite and messy, in the best ways. It can’t wait for you to think about it or to line things up neatly or to have the perfect …anything. Picnics, plans and outfits should be just the right amount of easy and beautiful. Homegrown goodness with minimal effort is what summer draws from the earth, from you.

There have been trips to the pool, birthday parties, a wedding, and a 3D movie at the theater for the first time for the kids. I dressed up and we went out, we watched fireworks and had sleepovers.  I stayed up way too late talking on the porch with my sister, the upstairs bedrooms full of happily exhausted and snuggly cousins. There was so much fun it almost gave me whiplash. Yet it made me feel so alive.    

We went to a concert, one of my favorite things. It doesn’t matter to me too much who it is, as long as I can sing along a little. Last year it was Kenny Cheney, a high energy summer beauty of a night, where you don’t sit and don’t stop smiling. This time we listened to a Jason Isbell, a regular part of the soundtrack in our house. The music is soulful and a little brooding. We sit and feel the music as much as listen.

It’s so magical to be there on a summer evening, having kissed the kids a hundred times and then snuck away from the routine and bedtime. I listen to music with a cold wine in my hand, a gentle breeze blowing my hair that lay loose around my shoulders, my husband smiling beside me, both of us singing along to songs that we know so well. These small miracles are not lost on me. The opening act was a 70’s cool type of California cat named Father John Misty. (I had never heard of him before, that’s how cool I am.) He said something funny and ironic and I laughed so hard, it was like a spell broke. The final, invisibles shackles of doldrums weee bursting from my unseen heart. I was awake and alive to unburdened joy again.

It’s almost like I had forgotten how to have fun. Well maybe that isn’t entirely accurate.   I had pined for it, but it wasn’t a regular practice for myself. I mean, I do ENJOY my life and cherish my loved ones.  It’s that I had forgotten, at least a little, how to have grown-up, outside of the check boxes of my to-do list, FUN. I’d forgotten that you can and should make it part of the to do list. Perhaps because I had forgotten how much fun it is to have fun, how powerful it can be. For me, the mom who’s suddenly forty and whose job is work on so many fronts, fun is an important part of the equation that often gets lost.

I’m not talking about just fun for the kids, either. Fun is intrinsically woven into their days, a part of their nature, a priority for them. I see its importance FOR THEM and I help facilitate and encourage it, to some degree, each day. But what about me?

I think we might need it as adults more than the kids. I know I need it more now than when I was a kid, blessed with the bounty of unscheduled summer days. Then it was like a feast laid out for someone who either eats like a bird or just isn’t really hungry. I mean, I loved it overall, but it got a little boring. See, I was already satisfied. It was an undeserved feast. Now I’m somewhat of the verge of starving and it means so much more.

As time goes by, adults learn to trade in fun little by little, for responsibility. It’s a natural progression, as one our our main jobs as grownups is to be responsible and then to teach our children responsibility. One of the main jobs of kids, however is to play. The other great job that children have is to remind us how to do it.

You need some help remembering how to have fun? Or why? Go watch kids as they play in a sprinkler, jump in a pool, or run around at the playground. They find fun, they join in the fun, and when necessary, they create fun. It’s inspiring. You can hardly witness that type of energy and tangible happiness without feeling joy yourself, and maybe a little envy. Wouldn’t it be great to feel that way again, one wonders? You can. You should.

Fun is important. It brings laughter. It makes you feel good about yourself. It helps you try new things, which gives you the chance for courage and confidence. It helps you appreciate your life and enjoy it even more. It makes things more beautiful, more alive.

It’s for you and for me. It’s for the Mom and the grandma, the diligent Dad and the serious uncle. We all need it. Take the dive, find your fun. Forget your work for a time. (We know it will be there when we get back anyway.) Go out for hot dogs and ice cream, laugh while the kids run through the sprinkler, or better yet maybe join in. Let your hair down. Stay up late talking with someone you love. Crack open that fantastic bon bon of a book and read it with your coffee or your wine. Do silly things with the kids, things that make you all laugh so deeply.

Grab someone’s hand and take them with you, too. Chances are, they need it as much as you do. Life isn’t just about the have-to’s and the should-do’s, the things that keep life running smoothly. Life is also very much about the COULD-do’s, too. The extras, the fun. Don’t leave them out of the equation. Chances are, you’ll find more importance and meaning hidden in the good stuff than you might expect.

And that’s what you carry with you, the fuel that you bring back to the work that you left behind. You come back the boss- emboldened, alive, happier. The tasks were no longer your master. Because you didn’t give the to do’s the ultimate place of importance, they ceased to rule over you for a while. They are once again, your tools. So you wield them, you carve some order back in to your life, and you are more alive with the beauty you found in both the fun AND the work. This is how it should be.

So now we have two teachers, two guides on this journey of having powerful fun. Summer, in all of it’s brightness and sweet possibilities. Children in both their abandon and their focus on finding fun. Thank you, cousin summer, for coming when we need it most. Thank you children, for reminding us what’s so important about having fun.

Go find your fun today. I promise, as long as it still aligns with your personal values, you won’t regret it. It might actually be the most important, the most powerful and the best “to do” that we can accomplish today.