The truth about INFLUENCE

The word influence is a relatively neutral term, and it probably means different things to different people, and generations. Many years into the past, you might parents talking in serious tones to their teenagers, voicing concern over one friend or another. “I’m not sure they are a good influence on you.” For many currently, when we hear the word ‘influence’, it sounds like a job title, reserved for the elite. It’s a beautiful blogger on Instagram, a public personality, someone with a platform, a voice, and a “following”.

Influence is a powerful thing, though it is not a term reserved for those who have ad revenue, sit on a board or a corner office somewhere, have a microphone, or even seem to be the most popular among us. Truly, we are all influencers, and being influenced, all the time.

We are influenced by what we see and hear every day.

We take in stimuli all day, we process it, we emulate it or dismiss it, and we do this all day long.

Think of all of the things that you notice. In your own life it’s, the dog needs a haircut, your kid needs a hug, your eyebrows need waxing. You love the way the sun comes in the window, you hear a song in the background. You take in and process information all day. You categorize things as important or less than important. That’s a library of information right there.

Then there’s information outside of your home. Whether it’s the way someone mows their lawn, how they return the grocery cart or say hello to the checkout girl, what you saw in the store window, how someone dressed for school drop off, the type of candles that were lit when your friend stopped over, how your friend spends their free time, what she said online, or what they do with their Sunday. It’s all coming at you all day.

Most of these thoughts are passing, and usually, we are not obsessed with one another. (Or hopefully we aren’t, and in the healthiest circumstance, we aren’t. Hopefully we’re not judging,, or trying to make ourselves better than anyone else. That would deserve an entire different discussion!) Let’s assume for now that you’re just trying to build a happy and healthy life- emotionally, spiritually and physically.

You still pick up information and ideas all day long, physical ones as well as mental and emotional. We see what people post about, care about, think about. We hear a song, read a magazine (I think those are still a thing!), talk to a neighbor. Then we respond, and it’s usually according to what we already value or desire. But even those things- our values and desires- can be influenced and shifted by what we see and hear!

Think of all of the things we have picked up over the years, all of the stimuli. We are influence a lot, both consciously and unconsciously. We take it all in, process it, and categorize the information according to what we think, and according to what has already influenced us. It’s like every piece of information is a string weaves itself into our belief system, and then influences us further as they create a framework for our lives. It can be very hard to unravel that thread.

With the advent of social media and carry around computers (📱 ) this has been greatly enhanced. We are being influenced by other people all day, every day. We can be influenced in any number of directions based on what it is that we take in. Which is why I am becoming increasingly aware of what it is I’m watching or looking at. It is. So. Much. Stimuli.

Make sure what influencing you is worth your attention. Fill your life with the best of the good stuff.

Whether we realize it or not we are influencing probably more than we know.

We have incredible power to influence things, to create change , to inspire. Even when it looks like no one is watching, somehow, sometime, it will be noticed by someone, even if you don’t notice that it’s noticed. You’re leaving a mark on this world with your actions. The way you mow your lawn or the shirt that you wear or the thing you say. You are creating a piece of information, adding value to what you choose, good or bad. You are communicating something to the world.

What are you communicating? What do you place the greatest value on? What matters most? To what do you give (or chuck) the most important things like your time, money, and attention?

Even before those “ influencers” were named as such, they were probably influencing. People liked to see what they were doing, they would get new or good ideas from them, they were probably a go-to for whatever their area of expertise is. Fashion, home, life, parenting, the list goes on. But Those influencers? They’re being influenced too. People allow themselves to be influenced and that influence created feedback which influences the ‘influence’ . By likes and shared and by the products they showcase and the marketing team that’s behind them. What a tangled web it is that we weave!

Those authors you read, they’re being influenced. Those singers and songwriters? Influenced. All influencers are also influenced by something. Somewhere, someone is motivated by somebody’s bottom line.

The question then, is whose bottom line will be the one that is going to motivate you?

What and who is influencing us?

There was a day this past fall, I was mulling over an online conversation. I was especially at the time, tending to tread lightly. I want to influence with heart and not a hammer. One conversation was sticking with me, I was feeling troubled. I had been bolder and maybe more direct than I had been. I could feel the rebuttals, I mulled over the opposite perspectives. I don’t remember the conversation now, but I still remember the faces I was thinking of.

I remember exactly where I was sitting in my car, when I had this conversation with the Lord. “I’m thinking too much about them, and about the results of what I say, aren’t I.” (As a former people pleaser, I continue to is work to not be influenced by anyone else’s reaction to my obedience or to what I know is right. My aim is not to please them, but to lovingly do what Jesus is asking me .)

I heard so firmly in my ear, “You’re not thinking long enough. I think Eternal .” I broke down and sobbed. Eternal. Tell me, what’s more important than that.

If I am only saying and doing what will get someone’s immediate attention or affirmation, what am I even doing? I am being influenced by them, instead of being influenced by what is most important. Even if it is happening in a ‘good’ bubble of influence., if I am motivated to or by a certain response, it’s still people pleasing. But you and I both know what a tempest this life can be, especially when we’re tossed about by everything that other people are feeling or saying.

Jesus said, “I only do what I see the Father doing.”

Listen, I know that sounds like a very tall order. This is where I might lose some of you. That’s fine. We all get to choose. We all have to choose what we’re most influenced by.

Personally, I want to make sure I’m being influenced, not only by the good stuff, but the best stuff. By God Himself. Him who IS perfect, who already loves me, and who can show me how to love my neighbor. Because He already does.

I want to start being influenced from a deeper place, by a constant God.

Then secondly, by people that are truly being influenced by Him as well.

As a blogger, you’re often told to write with the reader in mind. And I do. I think of you often. But I can’t be true to my calling if I’m only writing based on what you may feel or think after you’re done writing this. I have to write with a more eternal protective in mind. I have to write what is true, not just what feel good on any given day. That I believe is the most loving. Because it’s not about me or how much you like my writing or anything I have to say. It’s about how much purpose and healing can come from the words. How much eternal good can come from my life and my sphere of influence.

Yours too.

The times I feel tossed about, I know it’s not coming from Him. It’s coming from me or my desire to be pleasing to any man, anyone but Him. He is easier to please than we think. Because He is constant. He already know you by name, He already loves you.

I want to be influenced most by that place of radical love, real understanding, and acceptance, and I only want to influence from there. I want to others to find it, too.

Be influenced, today friend. Find that place in God.

Xox