One Simple Trick To Refresh Your Closet

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your closet and simultaneously underwhelmed by the contents? Do you find that you’ve amassed a collection of different pieces that seems more like a time capsule of your life and less like those cute capsule wardrobe that people talk about? You may have some favorites and a few updates, but when you open your closet doors, you find plenty of things that are rather… mediocre. No matter how often you try to purge, it never seems to feel like you’ve purged enough? Me too, and I’d like to share this one simple, no cost way that I found helpful.

I have gone through so many permutations of a wardrobe, from great, classy and cool, to functional, easy, and budget conscious, with many stages in between. That’s not to even to mention my maternity, postnatal, nursing journey, which can we agree, is quite the roller coaster. (Also makes for a very complicated closet with daily and weekly body changes!)

I go through my closet often and donate unused items. But I still find that when I reassess, I see that I have held on too many things (again!) that I never wore since the last time or two that I purged. I wonder what mistake am I making? File this under the fact that sometimes it’s hard to give your own life a true and objective assessment. So we just have to change the way that we look at it.

Let me start by saying what it’s not. It’s not the top two phrases you’ve probably heard a hundred times.

“If you haven’t worn it in a year, get rid of it.”

Or,

“Does it bring joy?”

Both of those I’ve found helpful, in theory. But for me, they’re not quite effective. I don’t think they are the best rules of thumb.

The first one, “if you haven’t worn it in a year”, is just not the best advice, because life is funny sometimes. You don’t always have the same type of experiences year to year, one season to the next. Your favorite red dress or nubby cropped sweater might never get a chance at rotation one year, but may in fact be the perfect thing to wear a few times, months or even years later. I recently wore a slinky purple outfit that I hadn’t worn in years and it was a perfect for both the occasion and again, my body. (Also, the whole maternity, body change thing makes this pretty much null and void for moms, in the early years especially.).

As for the second phrase we now all know, from a certain tiny, organizing, peaceful genius named Marie Komodo, is a powerful tool for minimizing the overwhelm of stuff and a lovely way to consider things in your life. But I find that can be a little vague, especially for the closet.

First of all, some things in my closet do bring me joy when I look at them. It brings me joy to have things to wear, in theory. It even bring me joy to look at some specific items. I remember fond times, like the yellow shirt that I wore to brunch when I realized I had fallen in love with my now husband. Other clothing items make me think of possibility when I look at them. That sparkly shirt would be so festive and fancy during the holiday and that teal sweater would be comfy and cozy with a cup of tea on a Saturday. And yet, those things never make it out of the closet and into the light of day. There they sit, avoiding both the purge, making me joyful, and yet never being worn.

You know what question really works?

It’s very straightforward, and extremely relatable.

If I was wearing this item, and it was both seasonally and situationally appropriate, and I ran into someone important, how would I feel?

Would I feel confident? Put together? Attractive? Edgy or timeless, on trend or vintage? It doesn’t matter which way . you feel good in it, only that you do. If so, Keep it.

Would I feel embarrassed? (The hole! The stretched out neck! The pattern!) Would I feel unkempt, dowdy or dated? Would I want to disappear? There is your answer: DUMP IT!

This is not a question of five years ago how did it make you feel. If you had to wear this tomorrow, how would it make you feel. It doesn’t matter so much about what’s the hippest thing or the instagrammed perfection right now. When YOU wear THAT in public, how does it make you feel? It is very important to understand that it’s YOUR opinion that matters here. How it makes YOU feel is what matters. If that clothing item would make you feel badly or less than about yourself, you absolutely need to put it in the dump pile immediately.

If this idea makes you uncomfortable, I would just like to point out that clothes ARE powerful. When you put in the right workout gear, it can make you feel a bit more like, well, working out. When you dress up for a date night, you feel attractive. When you come home and take off your dress pants and slip into the cozy things, you feel ready to relax. When the fireman puts on his uniform, he feels capable and ready to run into a blazing fire. You want to tell me clothes can’t be powerful?

So realizing that they indeed can be, we need to stop giving away power to inanimate things that don’t help you be your best, just because they’re hanging in your closet. Just because your friend you that shirt doesn’t mean you have to wear it or keep it. Because even though it’s perfectly fine, if every time you wear it, you feel perfectly average, at best, you shouldn’t keep wearing it.

Of course, clothes are not supposed to be your self-worth. However, what you put on matters. It makes a difference to how you feel and therefore how you function. Clothes should be functional and the greatest function they could ever accomplish is allowing you to live your life effectively. If something makes you feel bad about yourself, you need to let it go.

If you’re not sure when you hold something, put it on and look at it again. See how it looks on you. Get more specific. If I ran into (blank) at the (blank), and I was wearing this shirt would I feel good or bad?

So there are a few things to note. Yes, you will have less stuff. But it will feel good. If this makes you feel worried that you’ll have nothing left to wear, don’t worry. I get it. The reality is, 95% of us wear the same few things on repeat anyway. You know, the clothes you just washed and haven’t even put away yet are the ones that you grab first. Repeat, repeat. We all do it. We all kind of manage to wear a capsule wardrobe by default already, so we might as well clear out a lot of the junk that doesn’t serve us.

Imagine how great it would be to have only clothes that you’d be happy to wear hanging in out closet! You’d have both physical space and mental clarity awaiting you when you opened the doors.

What about things like that yellow shirt with sentimental value, or the dress from your maternity phot shoot you can’t bear to part with?

Take it out of your closet and put it in a memory box. I absolutely love my aforementioned yellow shirt, but it’s a bit thin and started getting a little stretchy. Though loved, it wasn’t getting worn. I want it for memory, not for wearing, so it doesn’t belong there in the closet waiting to be worn anymore.

Also, use pictures. You can remember an item without actually keeping it. It can help to realize that you might already have a picture of yourself wearing that item when you felt good doing so. And if you don’t, go ahead and put it on, take a picture and then. let. it. go.

What about the things you would wear at home but not in public? Try a separate drawer or area for the cozy, stay at home things. Try to keep the number of these things limited and in a different spot. I have a dresser for the cozy stuff- the stay at home, lounge around, go to sleep in T-shirt’s and sweats. But try to be honest about these items as well. Seriously, your comfy clothes shouldn’t make you feel terrible either.

When you look at your closet and are getting ready, whether to leave your house and or stay, you should only see the options that make you feel good, that make you feel like being the best you for what you’re about to do- mom, work, or anything.

Dress for what makes you feel best. When I get dressed for the day, I’m not looking to look fabulous every single day. Maybe you are, that’s awesome, and I might need some tips. You do what feels right for you. But these tips work for everyone.

When I get dressed, I aim to approach my life feeling good about myself, but also practical to what I have to accomplish. I want to be dressed in a way that makes me feel as effective and confident and comfortable as possible. When I’m with my kids at the library or out bopping around town, I don’t want to feel like I have to shrink or apologize for how I am, clothes or otherwise. (I’ve done that. It doesn’t feel good.)

I am no style maven and I still make plenty of fashion missteps. (And Lord help us both if you see what I wear walking the dog before the sun come comes up, which I do usually take from my comfy cozy drawer. But it’s often not the best weather here, and I often have to layer, for the record. 😉)
But I have to say, this simple trick has helped me take my purging game to the next level. I have three large bags of things that are about to leave my bedroom and be donated. They are things that had never made it out of the room in the last twenty purges, as recent as a few months ago. This simple shift has helped me differentiate between what I like in theory and why like in actuality.

And one of the sometimes unexpected blessings about making room is that new possibilities will fill in a little of that space. Now when you need to do do any shopping, you’ll have a better knowledge of what you really do have and if any gaps that might have appeared.

Goodbye, mediocre mess. I’ve made room for a ore confident ME. With saying goodbye to what doesn’t make me feel good, I actually feel so much more possibility than when I open my closet, even with less volume. It’s so funny how that happens. Hope you can find some of that confident, calm space for yourself too.

Xo