You Thirst Too

I took the morning off one day this week. By “off” I mean to say, I took a break from my coaching work, my mom work, my house work, my home work, my wife work, my life work. 

All of the busy, busy, good work.  

I sat in my car and prayed.   And cried. And listened for what God has to say.  For a couple of hours, tucked in between drop off and clean up, I did nothing but wrestle and rest and worship.  

I sat in my car for a long while and read the Bible and prayed. 
I didn’t peruse the isles of Target. I didn’t buy myself a new pair of shoes.  None of that would have really helped. None of that would have eased the ache in my soul.  There was nothing I could find there that would erase or ease the tired ache.  

I prayed and fought and pleaded with God.  For His help.  For His healing touch.  

For my family and for what each of our inheritance is in the Lord.

I spent almost 2 hours alone with the Lord in prayer.   I set aside the distractions. The striving  and  instead I just surrendered.  

Into the weariness I was feeling.  But not to stay there.  To be met there.  To be healed there.  To be loved there.  

Right where I had been hurting right where I was making the mistakes.  The placed I couldn’t even see for what they truly are.  But I sure could feel.  From that place.  I prayed.  I wrestled.  I gave up, trying.  And I just said “help”. 

He did for me what no one else can or ever could.   

When it was all done, I turned in the backseat and I saw my daughters water bottle there. It had dropped out of her backpack. She hadn’t known it then, nor had I.  I was too busy trying yo let her know how she could help me and improve.  But when I saw it, I realized her need, too and that I could help.  So I went back over to school, not too far away, and I dropped it off . 

 I took the chance to borrow a sticky note and I scribbled a note on it for her.  All it  said way basically, “hey, I love you.”

The lady at the front desk said with ad  much sincerity as I could hear, “You’re such a good mom.” 

And at one point in my life, that would’ve been everything I needed to hear.  It would have meant the world to me. But the more time goes on, the more truth I see, the more un-truth I see in me, and the more I really learn.  This is not about me.  I can’t do it ever well enough on my own.  So, instead of being filled up by that statement, the immediate thought came to my mind, and flowed out of my heart, and overflowed into tears that came to my eyes is “No, I have such a good father.” 

Because isn’t that what He just did for me? He knew I was thirsty. He knew I needed a drink. He saw my need and he filled it.  

He was right there all along.

I delighted to help my daughter.  

Even when she had a rebuttals or a response for everything that I told her this morning.  

Even if it didn’t seem she could really hear or understand everything I was telling her.  Even if a level of maturity was lacking and she couldn’t seem to follow my directions.  Even with so much that is mature.  

I was delighted to help her.  I was delighted to love her.  Of course I’d give her a drink.  She needed one, and I was right there, after all  

Just like He did and does for me.   Not because I earn it with perfect behavior, but I get what I need because of His perfect love.  

Depending on where you are in life or shat  your style is, your time off might look different.  It might be at night after the kids go to bed or a few hours on the weekend for yourself. For me it looks like a week day morning, a slice of time for what matters most. For what my soul needs most    

It doesn’t always take hours sometimes it might be 10 minutes.  

But it’s what my soul longs for.  Let’s normalize running to the Father for peace and contentment that our souls need. Not target. Not even to our friends or social circles. Just to Him.

And friend,  whatever you style is, I guarantee it’s what your soul longs for too.  To be understood deeply. To be seen. To be forgiven. When no one else will do it for you, Jesus can and will.  And He does it best.  So next time you’re feeling depleted and you have a little slice of time,  why don’t you let yourself carve out some time for what your soul truly craves.  

Let your soul know love.  

Because.  Yours thirsts, too.

And He scribbled us a note too.

He ALWAYS tells us He loves us. 

He loves to give us a fresh drink.  

Fill up momma, your family needs it.  

As much as you do too.