Can you see her?

People say you lose yourself in motherhood. 

I don’t agree.  

Sure.   Sometimes you won’t be able to see.  Not very well or clearly.

There will be times you won’t recognize yourself.  Years you won’t look in the mirror, or at least hardly. You’ll be too busy looking elsewhere- caring in other places, other people.  

When you look back, you might barely recognize who you see in pictures, who you would have seen in the mirror then.  

But you know her.  You are her.  

You recognize the look in her eyes.  The exhaustion and exhilaration.  The utter devotion.  

(Don’t you see it? It takes your breath away, doesn’t it?) 

All the while, so busy you were somewhat wasting away in one way, you were blossoming in another.  

You have been been busy. Very, very busy busy. Becoming the most beautiful version of you yet.  

Maybe it doesn’t look that way or feel that way on the outside.  

But the way your heart expanded, every time you looked at your children or held them or nursed their wounds or hearts.  The way you guided them, tended them.  The way you sacrificed your body, your mind, your heart- for others, and for your family, 

You were becoming more beautiful than you imagined when you were a little girl. See, you thought you knew what beauty looked like.  

Until you stopped searching for it in your own mirror. (It’s a good thing too.)  Because…

You were busy becoming it.  

Becoming more true.  Becoming more you.  Becoming Mom you were always meant to be.  

Keeper of beauty, measurer of stars.  Holder of secret hopes, tiny hands, big moments and small.    Nurser of tiny people, big dreams.  Stretched to new limits. And you didn’t break.  

You grew.  

Into you.  

Look in the mirror, now, love. Say good morning.  And thank you.  To who you see in the mirror now.  While her body and skin have changed, can’t you see that even more so has her heart? Instead of counting her faults and wrinkles and scars, can you count, can you see the Love? Yes, that is the most important, miraculous beauty of all. 

Tell her most, “You are welcome”.  To be. To stay.  This is who you are now.  Who you’ve become.  So beautiful.  Just by loving, more. 

It’s time you love her more now, too. 

Because, she’s got a lot more loving yet to do.

It’s beautiful. And so are you.