My mom “taught” me how to walk as a young kid. She took me along on walks after work and school. As a single mom this was her exercise, and there weren’t many options.
We’d circle the town, I’d hold my breath by the funeral homes, and we’d try to get home by dark. One time we found even our wild cat joined and walked with us for a stretch. I’d talk her ear to death, or at least probably exhaustion. She was patient with my childhood shenanigans. We’d have quiet silence too. It was home. Home on four feet.
I see that it taught me a lot of things, without really trying.
The beauty of Motion.
The importance of a soul to find Rest.
Family connection and a heart to find home no matter where you are.
Walking is the simplest purest form of exercise. It’s low entry, it gets your mind active and your body. It helps you notice the world around you, and the elevated heart rate can relax your weary, anxious heart, too. It’s a mystery, this walking thing.
We’re invited to walk with God, too. Like Enoch did. To walk with the Lord in “the cool of the day”, like in the garden. To walk when life feels very uncool, or very hot. To walk for a new perspective, to relieve stress. To know we never walk alone.
Here, kinda grown up, as a mom now myself, I find I’m walking a lot. Another “home”. I walk in the day, I walk in the morning. I pray and walk. I walk by myself and yet sometimes invite others to join me. My kids, my friends, my husband. Literally and figuratively.
I even walk at night now. Unlike the little girl, though, I’m not afraid of the dark anymore. Or the things that a funeral home signals. Which is funny because I know more now then I knew then, and not all of it good, either. The vain imaginations of childhood have been debunked, replaced, and sometimes even confirmed.
But yet. I know my Father more too. That makes the world of difference. I know I’m not alone.
So here I am still walking, with a Parent. At home, in motion, with four feet. Sometimes so silent and still, always so seen and accepted. He puts up with my shenanigans too. He replaces them with peace, when I let Him. When I hand things over, I’m given better in return. Always. Still talking a lot sometimes. Now, though, talking things ….to life…. ❤️
And the think I love about this walking, this walking with love?
Anyone can do it. It’s a simple exercise. Everyone’s invited to this walk of walk of love, life, knowledge, connection. Anyone. Everyone.
In normal, everyday life we need some directions. In current life, lately, we seem to need even more. More choices, more situations. The stakes are higher, the possible repercussions seem even more dastardly, especially if we look at the news. Needing direction, we often ask for directions. We research, look for options, ask questions, find opinions. “What should I do?!” We ask ourselves, and each other, at night, in the morning, as we go along on our way. What we’re really after, though, is direction.
That’s why I love this verse.
“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.””
Isaiah 30:21
This verse is so beautiful and so necessary when we’re looking for truth and wisdom. We will hear a voice behind us telling us which way to go, what to do.
What does it sound like, you ask? It sounds like an awful lot of different things. It might be an actual voice you hear. Or it might not. It might be a feeling, it may be a knowing, a sense of urgency. Maybe it’s an imploring, a deep a sense of unsettledness. But if it’s truly coming from God, it will come with an overwhelming sense of peace. Not that you will only feel peace. You will feel a lot of things. But peace can be the undercurrent. It comes with the territory when you listen to His voice.
We just need ears to hear it. To listen. Which starts, often, with the asking. Remembering to ask for His guidance, we will surely get it. Sometimes remembering can feel like the hardest part.
That was me recently. It was something so small, so little, I won’t even go into the details. Even though I hemmed and hawed over it, it was so little that I forgot to ask for direction. But later, after I decided and moved forward, I felt very troubled and unsettled. It wasn’t just feedback that I had gotten or any consequence of any action that I could see, everything seemed fine. But it was a feeling that came, and I knew something was wrong. I wrestled in quiet and sought clarity. I realized that I had relied on my own judgement alone, I had weighed the situation according to what I knew, I leaned into a little fear, and I forgot to ask for direction from Him. Woah. It sounds so simple, but it is so pivotal to following God. And I had forgotten.
Well, when you put it that way… I better keep asking.
Now, if you keep reading the scripture, you’ll see something I hadn’t seen before, until a few days ago. But boy is it good. Because, Yes, you will hear a voice when you ask. But then what? The next part shows what walking in faith really looks like.
“Then you will destroy all your silver idols and your precious gold images. You will throw them out like filthy rags, saying to them, “Good riddance!””
Isaiah 30:22
Gold and silver destroyed? What does that mean?
It means you stop trusting in anything more than you trust God.
You choose to stop trusting your safety blankets, your decisions, your process or your ways. Yes, we can think and decipher and seek wisdom. But above all of it, if we’re asking for His guidance, we might have to throw some of those things in the fire. It’s what I didn’t do the other day. And it troubled me. Oh boy, it troubled me. Because as “right” or as justified as I had been in my thinking, I had questioned and yet forgotten to ask the question to the Lord, “Which way should I go?” I had forgotten God, forgotten to invite Him into the equation, and forgotten to ask HIM the question. And if that’s not idolatry, personally, I don’t know what is.
This isn’t to be legalistic or cast shame on anyone else. But if I say I want Him to lead me, I want Him to use me, and I’m not even consulting Him, and instead, I’m leading with and leaning on my own understanding, then what am I even doing? ‘Is that walking in faith’, I stopped to wonder, and before I even could answer, knew in my heart already the answer.
This time is an invitation to mankind for more faith. And if we decide to walk in faith, and trust God MORE, we must ask for *His* guidance AND listen to His voice. To trust God above EVERYTHING- our ideas, our comforts. Because He’s trustworthy. Because everything else is worthless rags, everything else is trusting in idols.
“Throw it in the fire!” (I know that sounds wild. But that’s how I felt the other day. Have you ever felt like that? Then keep reading!)
Use your resources, but don’t forget the ultimate source, God Himself.
There may be fears that come, in fact, it’s likely they will. You might feel inner and outer resistance- coming from your own fear or the world and theirs. But fear was never intended to be your guide. We get to decide to Whose voice we listen to.
With our calculations we think too far down the path, and we feel anxiety. Uncertainty. But how could we not feel those things. That path is unknown to us, so obviously there is hesitation and trepidation. But. If you know that voice, if you know Who it is asking you to walk through it, you can “be not afraid.” The one who called you is faithful.
You don’t have to figure out the path before you can decide to go. That’s what faith is all about. You don’t have to figure it out as a prerequisite for going. You have to trust the one who called you.
Then the last part of that verse is this.
“Then He will give you rain for your seed which you will sow in the ground, and bread from the yield of the ground, and it will be rich and plentiful; on that day your livestock will graze in a wide pasture.”
Isaiah 30:23
What does this mean? When you do what it is you believe He is telling you, when you cast off the idols and things that would hold you back from following the voice, there is a blessing of obedience, an abundance that comes, even when you least expect it. Faith is rewarded in heaven. Faith God’s currency, and when you follow it, there will be goodness that follows you, His goodness. His faithfulness will be your shield, it will follow you wherever you go. When you know it, you know that is enough. But don’t be surprised when the blessings don’t stop there. “I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor their children begging for bread.” “The righteous man lives by faith.”
Now listen, there will be plenty people that don’t understand, that will think you’ve gone off your rocker, or are going off the deep end. It’s okay. Faith is so contrary to the way the world does most things. It’s not for the faint of heart. It looks like crazy, but it feels like ultimate peace. It might look desperate, but you e been desperate. Desperate is looking for something and never finding it. Faith is knowing you have.
However crazy it might sound or look to the outside world or to your mind, when you know what faith is asking you to do, you know that’s the way you must go. We might take a while to process or embrace things. We might be a quick jumper. However long it takes us to finally decide to follow, there is a blessing waiting, an abundance God has prepared. Many of us get stuck in the middle there, wrestling between listening to God and holding on to our idols, and when we do, we’re missing out. We can find the better things He has prepared for us, we only need to trust Him and go after it.
I’ve gotta back peddle for a minute here. The verse before all of this? Before asking, and throwing off idols, and walking into greater blessings? It’s Isaiah 30:20. “Although the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, your teachers will be hidden no more; with your own eyes you will see them.”
Sometimes it takes adversity at first, for us to start asking those questions. the right ones especially. It takes trouble for us to start seeing our real need and where we’re really wanting. In affliction and trouble, we begin to look beyond our idols, and ourselves, and see where we’ve come up short. It is then that we can really see what it is that we need. And it is then that we can walk into greater faith and abundance than we ever have before.
So let this troubling time be a reminder. Not to doubt, or to double down on yourself, but to lean in. To trust God. Then you’ll get to see all that He has prepared for you, the good path you’re meant to be on. It sometimes takes a broken road to get back on the right one anyway.
Even when it doesn’t make sense. Even if we’re afraid. Once you know the way you’re meant to go, go. Cast aside all of that rubbish, as many times as necessary, and keep walking.
Too many good things are waiting for us. Praying this becomes more true for you, for all of us. Hear the voice behind you. Throw aside the idols. Keep going. And see the goodness that He has prepared for you. Now, go!
Look around you. Feel the path under your feet. Know the warm sun that shines on your face and shoulders, it was meant for you. Understand this is where you were headed all along.
Like a homing pigeon, you found yourself right exactly where you know you are meant to be.
Now keep going.
Courting the Extraordinary
Is there something about yourself that feels on purpose, and yet some part that seems so broken? Do they even seem dangerously close, or maybe even fatally connected?
Maybe you’re a terrific mathematician with a propensity for being stubborn. Or a singer who can’t keep two socks together. Or a fantastic publicist who seems to drive away all those who are supposed to be close? To each strength there seems to be an Achilles heel. We see the downside, the deficiency, and recognize what we could be better at. Sometimes it feels like a grounding piece of our humanity. Sometimes it feels disabling. Whatever it is or however you feel about it, it’s no surprise to your purpose nor is it a disqualifier for who you’re meant to be.
I have been saying for a while that younger me would be so so proud of how I’m writing and the bravery it takes to get here and wherever I’m going next. She might not believe some of the things that are in the process.
But man, she would be utterly horrified, even disappointed about my penmanship.
I mean, third and fourth grade me took such incredible care to dot every ‘i’ with a heart. I loved filling journals even then, and my fancy ‘a’s were a sense of pride for me. I would relish in how the words looked. I even have a picture in my head of myself sitting at a desk in grade school. A checkered dress, Headband, fervently sitting at my desk, straining my hand to grip the pencil just right, needing a cushion for the indentation marks that it was leaving, tongue sticking out to the side in concentration. I say that this girl who wanted things neat and beautiful would be horrified were she to read my chicken scratch now. If she could even read it sometimes.
I groan even when I write thank you notes, and realize as I’m writing heartfelt words that they might be difficult for the recipient to even understand. Life is busy and I find myself rushed.
Even more so, when I’m in the groove of writing, I often have trouble keeping up and when I go back, I can barely read it myself. Oftentimes, it’s complete and utter garbage. The penmanship, for sure. Sometimes, even the content is questionable. I tend to talk in circles or go on far too long. I repeat myself (see, I did it right there!) and I’m terrible at proofreading. I publish things with mistakes. And yet. I’m doing something I’m supposed to be doing. And none of those things are disqualifiers.
At other times, things come together, from wells of experience and observation, and sometimes wells deeper than I even understand. That’s when I know that little girl would be so proud.
‘She is doing what she’s supposed to be doing.’
I like to say the story is always being written, and I’m just taking notes. Life happens fast. Thus, the chicken scratch. I guess I could try learning shorthand. But who’s got time for that, right? Always time is a factor. Which is why I write fast. Which is why I think she might be disappointed.
But also, maybe that is also why she really wouldn’t care.
Because she’s out of time, she handed the baton to me a long bit of time ago. She knows I must run with it now. Time waits for no one. And when you’re running after your destiny sometimes things get a bit messy.
But there’s something else. Sometimes it wasn’t something that even mattered anyway. Whoever you feel is judging you- that little girl that you once were. Or the parent or the nosy nelly noting your shortcomings. Maybe it never really did matter that much, anyway. Maybe it’s not supposed to matter to you hardly at all.
Recently my dad sent us each a parcel of memories that he had collected from us. Inside were some handwritten notes, all neat, thoughtful, and encouraging. It’s who I was even a young girl, and so much of who I am now. Bleeding my heart out on the page. Well, except the neat penmanship part, as we established already.
Then I found a couple of report cards, from first and second grade. I was a “bright” “eager”, “conversational” child. (Still rings true). Then I found the funniest two lines on my second grade report card.
“Courtney has an aptitude for writing. Her content is well developed and thoughtful. Sometimes though, her penmanship is messy.”
Wow. If that didn’t sum up both who I was then and who I am now, I didn’t know what. Good content and writing, sometimes lacking a neater delivery.
It’s then that I realized, that’s probably how it’s supposed to be. It’s who I’ve actually always been. Instead of wasting time wishing it were different, I were different, maybe I better get busy being who I am supposed to be. Imperfect, but with a good enough heart.
Somewhere along the way I learned that I should be better than I am. But here I am, who I’ve always been. And I’m still called to do something even though I’m not good enough at it. Something I’m not even fully qualified enough for.
This happens to everyone. Humans are forever disqualifying ourselves, forever trying to disqualify each other as well. That’s why people get stuck in endless learning cycles, or keep hopes on the shelf of ‘dreams for another day.’
Don’t. Do. That. Not anymore.
Usually these are things that don’t matter to God. Things like this- our weaknesses or humanity- they mean nothing. To God, at least. In fact, He uses the foolish things to confound the wise and no, He does not disqualify you for your weaknesses. He uses us in spite of them. He uses us, not because we are perfect, or ever could be, but because He wants to. Somehow, inexplicably, He delights to invite us into what He is doing here on earth.
What is your thing? Are you the mathematician, the scientist or the singer? What’s your talent and on the flip side, what’s your Achilles’ heel? Encourage you to not be dissuaded or talked out of anything even by yourself. But instead, to bring all who you are and place it at the feet of the one who made you. You were born for a purpose, and with the way that the world and time are going, best be getting to walking it out, even more.
He will use your voice, no matter how shaky; your pen, no matter how poor your penmanship; your heart, no matter how human. No matter your weakness, it does not disqualify you. It is a miracle, all of it, and it starts with the surrender.
So stop fighting it. Stop waiting to be better or more “perfect”, and start showing up. Use your talents and your time, take those tools in your hand and show up. Just go.
Our creative Creator can demonstrate Himself through you, weaknesses and all. He’s ready, and the world is waiting.
There’s a story that has been going around for years.
There’s a man, stranded in the middle of the ocean. He asks God for help. A tugboat goes by. The tugboat stops to offer him a ride. The man says, “no, thank you, I’m waiting for God.” Then a bigger boat, a sailboat, a cruise ship, a steamship. The boats get bigger and bigger, and still the man says, “no, thank you, I’m waiting for God.” The story ends with the man dying. He arrives at heaven, and he asks God why He didn’t save him. God looks at him, supposedly, and says “ I sent you the life boat, the sailboat, etc cruise ship. Why didn’t you take one of them?”
It is often used to demonstrate how we shouldn’t just “wait around” for God to help us. We will have to take something that’s offered to us that He has sent to save us.
I totally get that understanding. We cannot sit still and do nothing always, thinking that is what faith looks like. Faith often comes with action.
However, this takeaway to me, is troubling. Would God really look at that man and ask him why he didn’t take it? Or, perhaps, maybe God would look at the man and say, “Why didn’t you ask Me? Ask me what you should have done? Instead of supposing, did you try submitting your request for direction?”
Is it faith to take a lifeboat that’s offered, or not take it? I don’t know. It takes faith either way I suppose. Instead of defining faith by the choice, maybe the faith is defined by the questions. And who it is that you’re turning to when you have questions and need to decide.
Do you think, study, consider, turn your head, and say yes please or no thank you. Those are fine things. But is that all? Or do you close your eyes and turn your heart heavenward, and ask Him for the directions.
Faith is not defined by either going or staying, doing or not doing. Faith is not in a yes or a no. It is a heart condition that is looking to and trusting God, expecting that He’ll show up, and show you what to do and which way to go.
(And, I get it if you’ve grown up in “the church” and you’ve had experiences where you’ve felt overwhelmed and have hesitation for attempting to walk out the will and leading of God. Many of us have felt overwhelmed in this. But I would offer with suggestion. The problem is not the Holy Spirit. The problem is often in us, overthinking, overworking, overdoing things religiously. Trying too much, with the oughts and the shoulda and the checkboxes. We cry uncle eventually and prefer to go about a more normal earthly existence. But, if Holy Spirit lives in us, following Him should be as natural as breathing. I know it often doesn’t feel like that. But I’d opine that the problem has never been with God or Jesus or our helper, the Holy Spirit. It’s our interpretation, and “trying”. Maybe we should try a lot less and trust a bit more .)
Maybe we should revisit how we go about this whole ‘drifting in the ocean thing’.
(Which seems super appropriate, because it feels like we’re all all swimming in an ocean of options, opportunity to drown, and opinions.)
What way should we approach a life boat offer- should we take it or reject it? That’s entirely up to you and God. And if you care to wonder what He might eventually say, why not ask Him His opinion now?
Faith is not defined by either accepting or rejecting help or a lifeline. Radical faith is inviting God into all of the details. And not only inviting Him, expecting He’ll show up.
It’s trusting Him enough to know that He will help you when you ask Him, no matter how big or small the request. It’s trusting Him enough to know that He will help you when you need it, and answer you when you call. Not always exactly how you ask, but in whatever way He knows that you truly need. Faith is trusting His character enough to remember that He cares for you.
We don’t trust blindly, but from knowing Him. Knowing that He has our true best interest at heart. That He’ll show us whether or not to take the lifeboat, and that no matter any outcome, He’s got us. We’re anchored, attached, to His lifeboat. And no matter what, His love is bigger than that ocean. He will always take care of us. One way or another, if we ever get a little adrift, He will gently guide us back to Himself. We can trust our whole selves into His eternal, competent, loving hands.
Your prayers are not wishes. Your weapons not metal or swords They’re the word of the Lord They’re true Jesus lives in you Cmon church, rise up Come out of your slumber Get down on your knees. Your weapons are not just words It’s my spirit living in you
Your time is now Raise your voice Lift a shout They battle’s begun, We call alive, every one
You’re a valley of bones Come alive in your skin Be no longer troubled With the weight of your sin I have made you free Walk no more in chains
Come alive, come alive Come alive again
The world needs that light. I gave it to you You can no longer hide it, No more, that is true
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.
Hey, I'm Courtney, a pretty ordinary girl who thinks we've all been called to an extraordinary life and love story with God. I'm passionate about family, faith, motherhood, and the adventure of every day. I write lots of words, mostly because I can’t help it- and I think it's one of the things I was born to do. I hope that something I write encourages you, to walk in your own unique purpose and calling, set free to love and give it away, starting wherever you are today. That's what Courting the Extraordinary is all about. Finding the good all around you, and giving it away. Finding, too, the God of all goodness who wants to walk with you.
I love quiet mornings, coffee, prayer and “work” before sunrise. Quality time with my family is my jam. I can be found grinning ear to ear when we're out on an adventure. Whether that's in our own backyard or exploring someplace new all-together, I’ll for sure note something beautiful about nature aloud-and maybe repeatedly, ha!. Life is a beautiful, precious gift, and an adventurous path to travel! We might as well learn how to love.