the flashlight of water, His Love, and redemption

I woke around 4:30am, and started my usual morning routine. Pouring the coffee. Splashing my face with cold water, washing and waking up. Then it’s on to my prayer spot, a chair where I sit to read, listen, pray, write.

This morning I decided to get a few of the morning’s tasks ready too. With the phone’s flashlight in my one hand, I got the water bottles out of the dishwasher and the cupboard and started filling them with fresh cool water from the fridge. I prefer that one because it at least has some kind of filter, which is presumably catching some impurities.

As I filled them this morning, one of the cups I hadn’t rinsed well enough and it bubbled with extra dish soap. That made me chuckle, there are worse things. But I had to rinse and try again.

The next water bottle didn’t bubble up. But as the flashlight caught it, I saw a film of impurities circling along the top. Not big soapy bubbles. Not tiny moving air bubbles. A film, that would be all but undetected in the morning or daylight.

But here in the dark, under the flashlight, I could see it.

How long had it been this way, I don’t know. It’s a newer water bottle. Perhaps it’s some chemicals leftover from production? Maybe it’s from the dishwasher, a residue from the harsh cleaning agents that are used there?
I don’t know. It made me shudder, and physically that’s a whole other discussion.

But spiritually, that’s a good one too.

I thought isn’t this just what I’m doing? Here in the morning, in the dark, with only my flashlight on. I’m coming to sit and to be filled up with fresh water.

I am not looking for impurities, but they rise to the top, too, before daylight and responsibilities flood in. Before I care to try to look for them. Before I’ll be poured out as a drink for anyone else- my family, friends, anyone.

There’s a God who cares enough about me that He not only fills me to overflowing, He washes away the gunk too while He fills me. He wants my water to be fresh too.

I am not trying to look for things with my flashlight. I am not trying to fix myself. It’s not something I can really do.

It’s only His love that fixes and fills me.
And as I sit, to be filled, I will be, washed. Filled with Love.

So I will not stare at the residue, I will not be overwhelmed, I will not hold on to it. I will not even need to figure out where it all came from. I might decide what to be careful of next time. But that isn’t the whole point here. Not now.

I will let Him pour His life giving Love into me, through me, and the let the water of His Holy Spirit wash me.

I will let go of the impurities. I will let Him refresh me again and again.

Until He washes -and keep washing-away all of the sediment and other “cleaning products” that clearly don’t make me clean.
I will let Him fill me to overflowing. And I will keep coming back for more.

I will never not be thirsty, but I won’t let myself stay that way. Because I will let myself be filled.

In John 14, Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

“But sir, you don’t have a rope or a bucket,” she said, “and this well is very deep. Where would you get this living water?” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again,
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.”

☺️💦🙏🏻🫶🏻✨